By Smaktakula
In years past, degenerate types seeking a new high would have to work for it. Forced either to rely on the often-dubious advice of older siblings or else trust their luck to trial and error, this avenue of experimentation was open only to the most jaded wastrel.
Moreover, these methods also helped to maintain society’s delicate equilibrium, relying upon natural selection to thin out the ranks of these cognonauts. A great many burnouts had to suffer exquisitely painful deaths before one finally stuck his tongue to the correct toad.
The Toad's Conundrum: Are You Tripping Balls Or Dying Horribly From Neurotoxic Shock?
Thanks to the pernicious influence of the Internet, even good kids can fall victim to the allure of instant gratification and readily attainable thrills. Much has been made of huffing, and the deadly highs which beckon from the colorful bottles under the sink.
But while America’s attention is diverted by the lurid dangers of Pine-Sol, who’s watching the spice rack?
The Brown Lady: The Love She Offers Is Only An Illusion; Her Heart Is Black And Full Of Nutmeg.
Thanks to the ubiquity of instant media, today’s would-be druggie is no longer likely to be a college sophomore reading The Autobiography of Malcom X the first time he discovers the hidden threat in every home. Nutmeg is an hallucinogen.
Sometimes referred to as ‘the Spice,’ ’Margaret,’ ‘Sweet Lady Meg,’ or just ‘Meg,’ nutmeg can induce hallucinations if taken in sufficient quantities. However, most law enforcement organizations don’t consider it much of a threat, citing its low-energy, long-delayed high, and noting that Meg’s effects are best experienced in conjunction with other psychoactive drugs, such as marijuana.
“Plus,” says ’Eric,’ a sixteen-year old Meghead, “It tastes like ass.”
0.2 Oz Indonesian Fine. Street Value: $3.65
Despite nutmeg’s relatively low popularity as a recreational drug, some parents feel it puts at risk America’s most vulnerable children: those too incompetent or lazy to shoplift a bottle of Robitussin DM from Rite-Aid.
Wow who would of thought Nutmeg, which is a mild poison, would be used for recreational drug use.
Sadly, we can tell you this is no urban myth. Although Smaktakula has never defiled his body in such a way, a guy he knows tried Meg a couple times. His is a cautionary tale for sure. We joke about a lot of things here, but the following facts are 100% true.
Wanna hear how Smaktakula’s meg-abusing buddy ended up? Not well.
He got kicked out of college.
He lives in he lives in his mom’s house with his wife and however many kids he has now. When anyone asks him what he does, he says he’s a “landlord,” which means he doesn’t have a job. He’s not even looking.
His wife says he spends a big chunk of his afternoon and part of his evening locked in the garage, hunched in front of his computer. The poor woman–bless her heart–actually believes his vague stories about writing a book or some other such foolishness (you know the type), when what he’s really in there doing his playing Warcraft and looking at amputee porn.
It’s sad, really. At least he’s still got his looks. He’s pretty hot for an unemployed guy who hangs out in his garage all the time.
Actually the Warcraft and amputee porn are supposition. Everything else is cold, hard fact.
I await the hits that this post receives from those who google the ever-popular phrase “spice rack highs”.
Never tried it myself, but heard stories from people who knew people, etc. Urban myth? You decide!
At least Sveedish never googled “Blue Waffle” and hit the I’m Feeling Lucky Button. Please NEVER EVER do that. Just a warning.