By Smaktakula
In which we can’t be bothered to read the articles, but are quite happy to comment on the headlines.
Because Promethean Times Is Above All Else Topical.
Time Iraq: What Will The Remaining 50,000 U.S. Troops Do?
- We dunno; try not to die?
New York Times Moose Offer A Trail Of Clues On Arthritis
- How can this NOT be about the Moose Knuckle?
Seattle Times Islamic Center Debate Stupefies Muslim World
- Unaccustomed as it is to debate. Also to women drivers and BLTs.
MSNBC Somalia rebels looking like Taliban – World news – Africa – msnbc.com.
- Pretty much any form of government is an improvement in that anarchic hellhole.
ABC Deadly Attacks Across Iraq After US Troop Numbers Drop Below 50K
- But didn’t we win?
Chicago Tribune Can Your Pet Read Your Mind?
- What? Are you a child? No!
USA Today Bud Selig Attends Ceremony For Bud Selig Statue
- If he didn’t show, he’d be an even bigger douche than he already is.
LA Times Whitman targets Bay Area voters with ad attacking Brown
- Whitman wastes her fucking money.
LA Times Plastic bag ban is a job killer
- Yeah, but it makes us feel like we’re doing something for the environment without expending any effort.
NY Times Afghans Pull Money From Weakened Bank
- Wait–Afghanistan has a bank?
San Francisco Chronicle Killing spree suspect’s downhill slide
- Trajectory of the slide: He killed a guy, and it was all downhill from there.
Reuters Obama says his economic policies halted “bleeding”
- Leeches will achieve the same end.
BBC News Six dead after US breakfast killing spree in Kentucky
- The sausage patty tried to calm things down, but the scrambled eggs was tweaking on some bad ice he’d scored the night before. Scrambly was jumpy; he was constantly fiddling with his gun while shouting lines from ‘The Wedding Planner’ at the top of his voice. It was only a matter of time before things turned bloody.
New York Times Long Dormant, German Pride Blinks and Stirs
- United Kingdom braces for massive influx of French refugees.
