Monthly Archives: November 2010

Meet Tardsie!

By Smaktakula Much of the hard work which makes Promethean Times such a magical family experience occurs behind the scenes.  Our small, tight-knit staff is more like a family than a collection of colleagues, with the exception of our copy editor, … Continue reading

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Identity Of Guy Who Punched Obama Revealed

By Smaktakula By now you’ve heard how President Obama took an elbow in the mouth while playing a pickup basketball game, requiring twelve stitches.  Although the White House did not initially reveal the identity of Obama’s assailant, later reports named … Continue reading

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No One Loves Lucy

By Smaktakula Presenting the exculpatory piece of evidence which led to the defendant’s successful acquittal on a second-degree murder charge in The People vs. Brown.

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Irish PM Admits Leprechaun Scheme ‘A Failure.’

By Smaktakula The recent news that the Irish Republic would be requesting a bailout from the EU came as a shock to many observers.  As recently as ten days ago the government of Brian Cowen had strongly denied the need … Continue reading

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Advent Of America A Pivotal Moment In Turkey History

By Smaktakula If Founding Father Benjamin Franklin had his way, the role of turkeys in American society might be very different.  In writing a letter to his daughter, Franklin lamented that the eagle, rather than the turkey, was the new … Continue reading

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Tonight, A Father And Son Are A Rittre Ress Ronery

By Smaktakula In the dismal, crumbling concrete tomb that is Pyongyang, there are small but increasingly hopeful signs of life.  In a touching moment of bonding, dying despot Kim Jong-il is reportedly spending quality time with his youngest son and … Continue reading

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Antimatter Discovered!

By Smaktakula Honestly, we know fuck all about this “science” they’re teaching the kids in school these days–we’re but simple folk who mind our own business and pay our taxes on time. But we get the bigger picture.  In the … Continue reading

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New TSA Procedures Hit Stoners Particularly Hard

By Smaktakula The TSA’s  invasive new search procedure has yet to detect any foreign terrorists, and has ignited the passions of an already-frustrated air traveling public following a videotaped encounter between TSA officials and John Tyner.  Tyner, whose junk was apparently so … Continue reading

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This Day In History: November 22, 1963 CE

On which Lee Harvey Oswald comes to regret sneaking into the Texas Theater without purchasing a ticket. Quick, somebody–call Ruby.  He’ll know what to do.

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Happy Thoughts For Friday: Dee-Vine Justice

By Smaktakula When notoriously unfriendly douchebag Reverend Fred Phelps finally shuffles off this mortal coil and meets the Almighty, wouldn’t it be super if He looked like this? Hey now, Sugartits–you ever play a game called ‘Where’s the serpent?’

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