The Ongoing Doucheification Of Michael Jordan

By Smaktakula

Jordan Is Said To Be Growing Increasingly Comfortable With His Doucheiness.

Michael Jordan–at one time the most revered and respected man throughout the sporting world–is proving increasingly to be nothing more than a really tall asshole.

There were hints of it during his time in the NBA.  First there was Jordan’s short-lived retirement in which the basketball great unsuccessfully chased his baseball muse.  Following this were two comebacks, the first of which was highly successful, bringing another string of NBA Championships to Chicago.  Jordan’s final comeback, with the Washington Wizards, was ill-advised and legacy tarnishing.  But for a while, Jordan’s unearthly talent made it easy to overlook these things.

The Tongue Thing Grows Less Cute With Every Passing Day.

More recently, Jordan’s douche factor has leapt through the roof, thanks partially to the athlete’s tumultuous personal life.  Although Jordan and his wife divorced amicably in 2005, revelations quickly surfaced that Jordan had been maintaining an ongoing affair with gold digger and filer of an unsuccessful paternity suit, Karla Knafel.

Given That Jordan Could Have His Pick From Among The World's Great Beauties, Karla Knafel Is A Curious Choice.

A further low for Jordan was his 2009 Basketball Hall of Fame induction ceremony.  Jordan gave a rambling acceptance speech, lashing out at perceived enemies, and re-settling old scores.  Jordan’s biggest accomplishment of the evening was humiliating Leroy Smith, who managed to beat the future NBA great for a spot on the varsity basketball team back in high school.

Many observers saw pettiness as the reason Jordan was less than effusive in his praise of Kobe Bryant, who is considered a lock for the Hall of Fame.  Of Bryant, who has one less championship than his Airness,  Jordan said “If you are talking about guards, I would say he has got to be in the top 10.”

Jordan On Bryant: "He's Okay."

Jordan has always battled issues of character.  From gambling rumors to accusations of being a hands-off franchise owner, the cracks in Jordan’s reputation are beginning to show.

But perhaps the most glaring indication of Jordan’s irrevocable slide toward the douche side is his choice of a Hitler mustache.

"Wir Mussen Die Jazz Ausrotten!"

About these ads
This entry was posted in Celebrity and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The Ongoing Doucheification Of Michael Jordan

  1. Geo says:

    Yep, he went headfirst into the realm of douche. Now opening a restaurant with new girlfriend, who appears to be 1/4th his age. How many times will he go back to the douching well?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s