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Monthly Archives: February 2011
Haimster And Coleman’s Academy Awards Snub
By Smaktakula Hollywood was cruel to young actors Gary Coleman and Corey Haim, using and discarding them like snotty tissue. That both men died long before their time is a testament to this contemptuous neglect. But where many marginally talented … Continue reading
Libya: Who’s To Blame?
By Smaktakula Soon-to-be-deposed-and-executed despot Col. Muammar al-Gaddafi knows who’s behind the wave of bloody turmoil racing through Libya–This guy: We knew it! Castro and Chavez have a theory about this, too. ∞T.
Whatever Happened To Ivory Coast?
By Smaktakula In the weeks before the Burning Man Revolution put all other African news on the back-burner, simmering troubles came to a boil in West Africa’s Ivory Coast, where a disputed election threatened to tear apart the nation’s fragile peace. … Continue reading
Posted in Crime, News
Tagged Africa, African strongmen, Alassane Outtara, Burning Man Revolution, crusading celebrities, Darfur, elections, Ivorians, Ivory Coast, Laurent Gbagbo, North Africa, places that suck, problem solved, that trick never works, transfer of power, United Nations, West Africa
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Words Never To Use: N****rdly
By Smaktakula Just as popular music’s reputation has been besmirched by unwholesome potty-mouths like Ke$ha, Lil Wayne and hairless hit factory Justin Bieber, words also can be unfairly tainted by an apparent, but nonexistent connection between them. Words which sound … Continue reading
Make-Believe Vigilante To Rejuvenate Motor City
By Smaktakula Imagine a wasted and broken city, a great grey expanse of steel and concrete canyons, silent save for the echoing lamentation of pigeons and the constant scurrying rustle of the vermin who remain always just out of sight, … Continue reading
Posted in Cinema, Crime, Culture, News, Stupidity
Tagged Detroit, Farmington Hills, fascism, Grosse Pointe, Ju Ju, Michigan, Motor City, Motown, Motown Sound, Olympics, places that suck, police, RoboCop, statue, urban blight
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King Hammer
By Smaktakula Hip-Hop star of yesteryear MC Hammer is back with a vengeance–literally. The former Oakland A’s bat boy, who now prefers to be called ‘King Hammer,’ has a beef with rap megastar Jay-Z. Recently, appearing on Kanye West’s “So … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Culture, Music, News, Stupidity
Tagged beefs, Better Run Run, feuds, genie, Hammer Time!, Hellboy, hip-hop, Jay-Z, Kanye West, King Hammer, MC Hammer, Oakland A's, Oaktown, one-hit wonders, Reverend Hammer, ridiculous genie pants, tool-based rap artists, Yapple Dapple!
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Commercials We Do Not Like: Bad Andy
By Smaktakula Television commercials are subject to the same limitations as all human endeavors: they don’t always turn out the way they’re supposed to. Advertising can be particularly vulnerable to this in that failure might not only mean that a … Continue reading
Posted in Culture
Tagged "I've fallen and I can't get up!", A1 Steak Sauce, advertising, Bad Andy, Bush's Original Baked Beans, Commercials, commercials we do not like, Domino's Pizza, drugs, Duracell Family, feces-flinging primates, FEMA, fever hallucinations, GEICO Cavemen, LSD, magic of the marketplace, Old Spice Man, Olive Garden, people with short attention spans, Pets.com, pizza, puppets, Quizno's, Raggedy Andy, sock puppets, spokescreature, Spongemonkeys, TV
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War: What It’s Not Good For
By Smaktakula A surfeit of schmaltzy Hallmark Card sentimentality cannot alter a fundamental truth. Observe: As much as we’d like to, we can’t argue with this. If anything, the image’s creators are understating the complete havoc which armed conflict can wreak … Continue reading
Posted in Culture, Politics
Tagged aggression, apologies to Edwin Starr, conflict, fundamental truths, Hallmark Cards, LEGOLAND, News of the Duh, trite statements, understatement, war, War is not healthy for children and other living things, War! What is it good for? Absolutely nothin'!
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James K. Polk: Califacilitator
By Smaktakula Democrat James K. Polk, 11th President of the United States, is among the least-known of US Chief Executives, despite one of the most consequential presidencies in the nation’s history. Unlike most politicians then and now, Polk kept his … Continue reading
Posted in Crime, Culture, History
Tagged 11th President, California, conqueror tongue, damned if you do, Disneyland, from sea to shining sea, imperialism, Irvine, James Knox Polk, Los Angeles, manifest destiny, Mexican-American War, Mexico, Mickey Mouse, obscure historical figures, obscure political figures, one-termer by choice, one-termers, President Polk, promises, strong-arm, United States of America, Were you still using that?
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