By Smaktakula

Wait A Moment, Michael. Ask Yourself, "Does This Meal Meet With The Standards Of Kashrut?"

Terrifying former pugilist “Iron” Mike Tyson has a reputation for being difficult.  However, in this instance the seething bag of resentment has made work easy for Promethean Times.  He hasn’t just set the ball, but spiked the damn thing as well.  Observe:

Mike Tyson, who has recently declared himself a vegan, plans to open a chain of kosher/vegan restaurants.

"I Very Much Regret Thaying I Wanted To Eat Lennox Lewith's Children. Even If They Had Been Prepared In Accordanth Wiff The Law, They Would Motht Likely Thtill Be Treif, And Thuth Ritually Unclean."

“I have a little dreibel, I make it out of clay, when ith dry and ready, wiff dreibel I thall play…”

“Mike?  Mike?”

“What?  Why’d you thtop me?”

“It’s ‘dreidel,’ Mike.  Dreidel with a ‘D.’”

“Thath what I thaid!”

“Oh, sorry.  I thought you said . . . never mind, Mike–let’s try it again.”

“You know, you’re really thtarting to upthet me.”