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Monthly Archives: March 2011
Al Qaeda Lady
By Smaktakula The idea that martyrdom is strictly a man’s game took a crippling hit recently with the online publication of Al-Shamikha, an in-your-face fashion fatwa on the hide-bound ideas of yesteryear, aimed at those burqa-bedecked beauties holding down the … Continue reading
Posted in Culture, News, Religion
Tagged al Qaeda, Al-Shamikha, burqa, cat ladies, Cosmopolitan, Islam, jihad, martyrdom, radical Islam
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Incest: On The Other Hand…
By Smaktakula The world was aghast to learn that contemptible degenerate Garry Ryan had impregnated his equally loathsome daughter, Penny Lawrence. Ryan had first proved his douchebag bona fides at the tender age of eighteen when he impregnated and subsequently … Continue reading
America Fails To Measure Up
By Smaktakula The penis rankings are in, and the nations of the West have come up short. The United States’ result is particularly embarrassing. Although managing to avoid the lowest quadrant–populated by such sad-sack microdicks as China, India and Burma–the … Continue reading
Progressive Insurance Flo
By Smaktakula We get it–she’s supposed to be kooky yet sexy, a hard-partying minx with just a hint of the Girl Next Door. But seriously, could they have found a spokesperson who looks any more like the chick who gave … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Culture, Stupidity
Tagged crotch lobsters, Flo, Lake Havasu, Progressive Flo, Progressive Insurance, skanks, spokesstrumpet
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Help Find Corey’s Jacket!
By Smaktakula Times have been tough for Corey Feldman. In 2009, Susie Sprague, the actor’s second wife, filed for divorce, seeking custody of their son, the ridiculously-named Zen Feldman. Last year he was rocked by the death of his long-time … Continue reading
Headlines II
By Smaktakula and Various Editors In which we sound off on the headlines, without bothering to read the articles. Single, Female, Mormon, Alone~That could not be any sexier. Suspect Confesses to Murdering Pakistani Politician~When you’re interrogated by the Pakistani ISI, … Continue reading
TV Still Safe For Morons
By Smaktakula It’s no secret that television gets a bad rap. Labelled ‘A Vast Wasteland’ within years of its invention, TV hasn’t been given much of a chance. And much like a person awoken from sleep by a phone call, … Continue reading
Posted in Culture, Stupidity
Tagged America's Funniest Home Videos, As the World Turns, Baguette wasn't our first choice, Benny Hill, Bob Saget, India, Jeopardy!, Louie Anderson, morons, mouth-breathing halfwits, soap operas, television, the vast wasteland, TV makes you stupid, Two and a Half Men
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Michael Lohan: Bad Father, Even Badder Boyfriend
By Smaktakula It’s hard to find many people who pity slimy CelebriMom Dina Lohan, but Kate Major can now count herself among that select few. Until just a few days ago, Major shared a bed with Lohan’s troubled ex-husband, the … Continue reading
