Monthly Archives: May 2011

Get To Know Frank McCourt

Posted on May 31, 2011 by

By Smaktakula To the myriad awful things you already knew about loathsome Dodgers owner Frank McCourt–the greed, the douchiness, the being short– let us add one more: Frank McCourt eats babies.

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Happy Memorial Day!

Posted on May 30, 2011 by

By Tardsie On which some grilled and others shopped.

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Headlines V

Posted on May 27, 2011 by

By Smaktakula In which we respond to the headlines without reading the stories. *** My Son and West Point — How Did Four Years Pass In the Blink of an Eye? ~ You’ve just awoken from a years-long coma following a … Continue reading →

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George Sherrill: Same Douche, Different Hat

Posted on May 27, 2011 by

By Smaktakula George Sherrill, the cretinous southpaw who douched it up for the Los Angeles Dodgers in 2010, posting a ghastly 6.69 ERA in 36 innings of ‘work,’ has taken his act to the Atlanta Braves. However, at some point … Continue reading →

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Marry Me, Stupid

Posted on May 26, 2011 by

By Smaktakula Throughout history, marriage has held a special place in human society.  It is one of the unique links that unites not just the different peoples of the world, but also every strata of society within individual cultures.  The … Continue reading →

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Lohan: The Time To Hit That Is Now

Posted on May 25, 2011 by

By Smaktakula Former child star Lindsay Lohan revealed recently in an international statement that she was not currently in a relationship, declaring “I’m available.”  Men and women between the ages of 16-65 who have yet to engage in casual, anonymous … Continue reading →

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Many Surprised By Abrupt Expiration Date On Rapture Humor

Posted on May 24, 2011 by

By Smaktakula Would-be funnymen across the United States and Canada were disheartened this morning to find their Rapture jokes completely depleted of humor.  Many people had come to their places of work Tuesday morning armed with hilarious Armageddon material cribbed from late … Continue reading →

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Diddy Unveils Ridiculous New Name

Posted on May 23, 2011 by

By Smaktakula Surprisingly, the public is still paying attention to the tiresome karaoke enthusiast (most recently) formerly known as Diddy.  Having followed the minimally-talented showboat through such ridiculous incarnations as ‘Puffy,’ Puff Daddy and P. Diddy, the performer’s surprisingly resilient … Continue reading →

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Clowns: A Final Solution

Posted on May 20, 2011 by

By Smaktakula The old ‘Clowns-in-a-Car’ gag.  It’s okay, we guess–but imagine how many more clowns you could stuff in there if you simply chopped them up first. Clowns make everything funny. ∞T.

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Mimes

Posted on May 20, 2011 by

By Smaktakula The worst kind of clown: a silent, French one.

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