Convincing Black Men To Stop Straightening Their Hair

By Smaktakula

Seriously--Is There Anyone Who Thinks This Looks Good?

Look, this is America–really, you can wear your hair any way you want.  However, in our ongoing battle against follicular douchebaggery, Promethean Times has previously inveighed against such stylistic travesties as the mullet, the fauxhawk and dreadlocks on blond guys.  Today, we make a special appeal to black guys across the world: Please don’t straighten your hair.

We’re Just Talking About Dudes. Don’t Change A Thing.

In the very early days of the Civil Rights movement, it was briefly fashionable for African-American men to straighten their hair.  However, with the development and solidification of a black racial consciousness, natural hair began to make a comeback, and straight hair began to become a rarity among black men.

A Helpful Abstraction.

However, in 2011 there are still a handful of professions where straightened hair is the norm for African-Americans.  Chief among these are preacher, pimp and some combination of the two.

"I FEEL GOOD!" He Looks Good, Too. When You're A Sex Mo-Sheen, You Can Be The Exception To The Rule.

Some quick DOs & DON’Ts:




You're Fine, Ma'am. Sorry To Have Bothered You.

This entry was posted in Culture and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Convincing Black Men To Stop Straightening Their Hair

  1. bee says:

    Y’all need to shuddup with this mess

  2. Sam Bo says:

    Y’all need to shuddup with this mess??? Seems you have more important issues to worry about than hair… Like learning english for one?

  3. whiteladyinthehood says:

    This was hilarious!

  4. Chris says:

    Because any time someone wants to try something different, they must be ostracized by the black community for it huh? I’m a black male myself and see no problem with straightening hair if it’s not out of internalized racism towards one’s self. It’s not about wanting to be “white” or anything not considered “black”. In fact, we need to start moving away from what’s considered “white” or “black”. Enough with the stupid stereotypes already. I personally get tired of the same dark caesar, afro, tape-up, and fade hairstyles. So I try something new and different. Has nothing to do with making a statement or any of that crap. That’s the problem with the black community. Look at the things you choose to stigmatize people over. How they wear their hair. Don’t like it? DON’T DO IT! It’s not your hair lol. Let people live and express themselves. Damn.

  5. Chris says:

    Sounds like a sexist nigger posted all this. This is very sexist and im white. I hope black men keep straightening their hair because of this… they know its pissing you off not to mention them trying to date our white women and not you hypocritical niggers that straighten your hair too. You niggers need to stop getting mad lol!

  6. Dylan says:

    Im black and I straightened my hair, few months back in high school…i got bullied to the point of depression. Funny thing is, mostly black people. Anywhere i went i was bullied or looked at strangely, family spoke behind my back contemplating my sexuality. Teachers laughed. I mean…cutting it was the saddest thing, I had to i was told i wouldn’t get a job…Saddest thing I’ve done to my self was giving in i still regret it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s