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Monthly Archives: February 2012
Profiles In Dignity II: Even Dignitier
By Smaktakula In which we celebrate the faults & foibles which make us mortal. Humanity, you are beautiful! *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
Nothing But Comebacks
By Tardsie In which we offer some classic comebacks. So funny I forgot to laugh. Well, that’s what you say. Yeah, that’s a good one. Hey, I used to have a shirt like that, but then my dad got a … Continue reading
Stereotypes: What About The Good Ones?
By Smaktakula For as long as there have been different cultures, there have been cruel stereotypes about those cultures. In ancient times the Sumerians were believed to be penny-pinchers, the Mayans considered bad guests who wouldn’t leave, and Etruscans were accused of … Continue reading
Posted in Culture
Tagged Asians, Belgium, black people, Canadians, Etruscans, family values, fun with stereotypes, gay people, ignorance--it's what we do, Kentucky, kung-fu, Latinos, Mayans, Mississippi, Poland, Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French, stereotypes, Sumerians, the French, we're all the same, white man's overbite, white people, white trash, whitey, whitey can't dance
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Helpful Hints For Everyday Life: Carpe Mortem
By Smaktakula After the death of a loved one, well-meaning friends and acquaintances will tell you, often in these very words, If there’s anything I can do, just let me know. Why not take them up on it? Certainly they … Continue reading
An Ode To Snooki
By Smaktakula Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi’s time in the spotlight must soon come to an end. Her fifteen minutes of infamy draws inevitably to a close, as the public’s short attention span casts an obscuring shadow over the stars of yesteryear, … Continue reading
Ass Wednesday: A Holiday Of Your Very Own
By Smaktakula We Americans are justly proud of our ignorance. Along with obesity and braggadocio, having our heads up our asses is the trait for which we are best known around the globe. Regardless whether you count yourself among these … Continue reading
The Elderly Are Right About One Thing At Least: Kids Today Have It Too Damn Easy
By Smaktakula One of the universal cornerstones of adulthood is the opportunity to bitch vociferously among the members of one’s own generation about how easy kids have it today. That every generation since the dawn of history has engaged in … Continue reading
Posted in Culture, History, Stupidity
Tagged cocaine, dope, drugs, grass, hemp, Kentucky, kids today, Lindsay Lohan, LSD, lycergic acid diethylamide. LSD not LDS which is something very different, marijuana, Mexico, nutmeg, PCP, Piggly Wiggly, places that suck, pot, Reddi-Wip, reefer, Somalia, Special K, spice rack highs, sweet lady meg, sweet sweet cheeba, weed, whippets
8 Comments
Keep That Kidney To Yourself, Whore!
By Smaktakula It’s easy to forget the impact that organ transplants have had on society. Medical science has advanced to such a degree that it now seems routine to cut the organs from a dying man or woman and transplant … Continue reading
For Reals: The Best of Promethean Times!
By the Promethean Times Editorial Staff In which we present a few of our favorite Promethean Times’ features. We hope you’ll enjoy as well. ∞ T. Humor: Our readers know that humor is near and dear to our hearts. In the following post, … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Culture, News
Tagged Anna Nicole Smith, Belgium, Bill Clinton, blond guys with dreads look like idiots, blond is beautiful motherfuckers!, blond people are stupid, double standards, dreadlocks, Emmanuel Lewis, freedom of speech, Gary Coleman, handicapped people, hypocrisy, Jimmy Carter, Kool-Aid Man, nasty blond dreadlocks, opossums, Osama bin Laden, punch lines, self-promotion so shameless that it borders on hucksterism, Why are blondes so stupid?
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Promethea Culpa Culpa: More Retractions
By Tardsie Readers of Promethean Times know how very seriously we take our journalistic responsibility to keep the public informed. Throughout its nearly two-hundred years of publication, Promethean Times has striven to justify our readership’s trust by providing only the … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Culture, News, Stupidity
Tagged abortion, death by fire, Dewey defeats Truman, Does Nature Want You Dead? Yes It Does., even Jesus thinks Fred Phelps sucks, flame retardant, Fred Phelps, gay marriage, God Hates Fags, inflammable, leprosy, Mickey Rooney, mistakes, outright lies, retractions, syphilis, we goofed!
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