Pitiable Novelty Rapper Not Dead After All

By Smaktakula

Let’s Give Him This: There Aren’t Too Many Things Which Can Collectively Humiliate White People.

Fans of music and of culture in general were shocked by the news that tiresome rapper/plagiarist Vanilla Ice still lives. The music world had been abuzz in recent days over happy rumors that the grating space-waster had died, and will now have to come to grips with the realization that at 44 and in reasonably good health, the melanin-deficient fucknugget can stink up the nostalgia circuit for years to come. We can only pray that the day will come soon when the Almighty will tire of His cruel joke, and in delivering us from ‘Nilla, will ‘wax a chump like a candle.’

Evidence of the Crime:

About these ads
This entry was posted in Celebrity, Culture, Entertainment, Music and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to Pitiable Novelty Rapper Not Dead After All

  1. crubin says:

    As embarrassing as Marky Mark…

    • Smaktakula says:

      Oh, far more so. With his modicum of talent and groovy supernumerary nipple, Marky Mark is more of a selective embarrassment, and less of the racial albatross than V. Ice is.

      • AT least “Marky Mark” at least has a decent acting career now. This DB here, HE can’t even stand being reminded of his of his “Ice Ice” baby days. LMAO

  2. White people can neither dance nor rap. Asians are smarter than we are, and the only “sport” white people still dominate is NASCAR, which is perhaps the lamest sport since golf. Damn, it almost sucks to be white anymore.

  3. Ice is now flipping houses in DIY–he even teaches a course and apparently wrote a book on making millions from real estate. SNORT!

    • Smaktakula says:

      In his defense, however (and I never thought I’d find myself in that position), America loves a second act. I’ll bet George Foreman makes a lot more money from his grill than he ever did from taking a hit to his grill.

  4. Some Guy says:

    One of this world’s great disappointments, to paraphrase Denis Leary, is that Stevie Ray Vaughan is dead, and we can’t get this guy on a helicopter.

  5. Is It A Sad State Of Affairs That I Still Know “ICE ICE BABY” Word For Word?!?!?!
    It USED To Be So Much Fun To Break-Out At Parties/Social-Gatherings.
    Maybe That’s Why I Don’t Get Invited To Them Anymore?
    Ya Think? ;)
    hehehe
    -BRAD

  6. Vanilla Ice just chaps my grits.

    • Smaktakula says:

      There’s a lovely Texas idiom for you!
      Of course, since VI originally hails from the Lonestar State, I guess you could say VI: There’s a lowly Texas idiot for you!

  7. Rodney King would have upstaged his death anyways.
    “Melanin-deficient fucknugget” amazing!

  8. El Guapo says:

    What?!? Still alive?!?!
    Thanks for trashing my day, Smak.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s