Why Mom And Dad Will Spend Their Golden Years In A Substandard Nursing Home

By Smaktakula

Here’s why:

This Is Neither Heart-Warming Nor Cute. It Is Cruel.

We found a place we think you’re really gonna like–they did a whole segment about it on 60 Minutes. ∞ T.
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27 Responses to Why Mom And Dad Will Spend Their Golden Years In A Substandard Nursing Home

  1. Elliot says:

    But then they might have known they were going to live out their days in a substandard nursing home, and got their blows in while they could.

  2. I love the Simpsons (cute link)….is that one of your baby pics?

    • Smaktakula says:

      Ha! If that was my baby pic, my parents wouldn’t be in a home right now–they’d be dead!

      Given that both of my parents are, in fact, dead, I should probably just say “No, that’s not me, thankfully!”

      But that was really cruel of you to bring up my dead parents like that.
      My Parents Are Dead!

  3. This reminds me of that scene in A Christmas Story where Ralphie has to wear the bunny suit. You just KNOW that if Dad hadn’t finally gotten him that Red Ryder BB Gun, ol’ pops would have been looking at a substandard nursing home too.

  4. crubin says:

    This is akin to making a child wear matching clothes with his/her parents, a phenomenon that sadly still exists.

    • Smaktakula says:

      Ugh! Tell me about it.

      In a related phenomenon, a woman who is very close to me insists on dressing her twin sons identically, over the repeated protests of their father. This woman is super easy-going and lets her husband have his way in most things, but when she puts her foot down, it stays put. Sadly, she put her foot down on the dressing thing.

      • crubin says:

        As long as she’s willing to pay for their therapy later ;) Just kidding. Young twins can pull off the matching-clothes thing and look cute in the process. Sixteen-year-old twins, on the other hand, not so much.

      • Smaktakula says:

        Totally, and I–I mean this guy–is counting on the fact that when they can dress themselves (like 13 or so) they’ll eschew the twin thing.
        But I do know one exception to the adult twins shouldn’t dress alike. I went to college with these twins that broke a lot of twin rules and got away with it. They were black dudes, and not only did they have twin names (the aforementioned identically-dressed twins do NOT have twin names), but they were black twin names–one of them was made up (it rhymed with the other one). These guys also dressed alike. A recipe for disaster, I know–but these guys pulled so much ass it was crazy. I lived next to them, and they were super sweet, friendly guys. But it was hard not to be jealous of those tag-teaming skonks.

      • crubin says:

        Hey, you gotta work what you got…

  5. ImJeffHanson says:

    On a somewhat related note, check these children who will also possibly put their parents in nursing homes, haha.
    http://sketchybunnies.tumblr.com/

  6. That is terrifying.
    Also, I nominated you for the “One Lovely Blog” award.
    Details here: http://averystrangeplace.com/2012/06/27/lovely-as-balls/
    I think you’re one of 6 people I nominated that I actually read.

  7. seapunk2 says:

    I have a strong desire to party hearty with the writers of the Simpson’s right now. :D :D :D !!!

  8. I can just imagine what kind of hole my son will put me in if I live that long. I made him sit on the Easter Bunny’s lap for a picture when he was eleven. I don’t think he will ever forgive me for that.

  9. El Guapo says:

    I would like to know what hell that picture was taken in where it was necessary to hang an “I’m A Bunny” sign on the poor kid.

    • Smaktakula says:

      To me that’s the piece de resistance, the final humiliation to be heaped upon this poor kid. I mean, it’s perfectly obvious that the child is a rabbit. It’s got the same appeal as a really unfunny joke, where nobody laughs, so then you explain it. I LOVE that!
      “Because–see, the chicken wanted to be on the other side of the road!”

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