By Smaktakula
Just As Good Policies Sometimes Have Adverse And Unforeseen Consequences, Autocratic Douchebaggery Can Occasionally Have A Silver Lining.
In attempting to muzzle criticism of his increasingly despotic rule, Russia’s President, with the cheerful assistance of the authoritarian kleptocracy’s kangaroo courts, has perversely managed to shatter a long-standing barrier to free speech. By jailing for two years a punk band for the crime of hooliganism, the humorless tyrant has thrust the words P***y Riot¹ into polite discussion.
To Be Fair, This Is What Passes For Polite Discussion Nowadays.
True to our innovative and inclusive nature, the United States has for many years been home to a number of vaginally-themed musical acts:
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P***y Riot: It Doesn’t Have To Be Vulgar.
I’m afraid I know precisely nothing about why this band has been jailed. Perhaps they are blindingly awful and there is a sense of humour after all. Or he confused them with that rather good picture of cats.
Officially it’s that they besmirched religion by staging a concert in a church, but it’s symptomatic in a pattern of forced silence. Journalists tend to get killed in random muggings in Russia.
I find it hard to believe that religion could be at fault. Oh no, hang on….
Ha! Yeah, religion is normally so well-mannered.
Actually, though–the Russian Orthodox Church has (with the exception of the Soviet period) often worked hand-in-hand with the czars (and now the new czars) to keep the people obedient.
Even though we may be stuck in the land of Honey Boo Boo, I’ll take this country any day. But I’m willing to export Clay Aiken if Russia’s looking for a more acceptably-muzzled musician.
I second Carrie’s suggestion about the exporting of Clay.
Smak,
Can we throw in Nickelback and Justin Bieber?
Le Clown
And Alex Trebek. And Romney. And all the Palins. And Honey Boo Boo.
That’s going to be a lot of cargo to cram in one of those container ships.
Other than his Canadianness, which he can’t help, what has Trebek done to deserve exile? And as I said to Carrie, Honey Boo Boo is a national treasure.
You mean aside from being a smug, patronizing dick? Not much, I guess.
Well, I already said he couldn’t help being from the Great White North.
Good point. I suppose that’s the natural handicap he’s dealing with. I hadn’t thought of that. Thank you, Smak, for showing me not to be so quick to judge.
In fairness, I was playing devil’s advocate. I believe in immediate and unshakable judgments. Sometimes you just don’t have time to wait for all (or any) of the facts to come in.
Mais oui!
And he can take his Christmas album with him.
And just about EVERY celebrity Christmas album except maybe for Bing Crosby and Elvis.
And Chris Isaac. He’s got a good one.
I third it. I can’t make through even one of Clay’s songs without wanting to vomit. Even though some country artists share political views similar to mine, sadly, most country music really bites. Rap is generally even worse than country though. They can take Clay Aiken and as a special bonus, 95% of the rappers too.
Honey Boo Boo is a bonafide American treasure. And since she’s only about seven years from birthing her first litter, I’d say we’ll have a Honey Boo Two before too long.
Now that’s a scary thought.
You’re probably right about the 7 years, Smak.
I think you’re being generous on the seven years. My mother worked in a school that was in the depths of the white trash slums- there were girls there giving birth at 11 years old. Welcome to fifth grade…and your new maternity wardrobe!
I picked the seven years because I choose to believe the best of people!
Our pop culture is filled with vaginally-themed musical acts, as the video illustrates. Maybe, we could learn something from Vlad.
I agree. Say what you will about that vodka-swilling cadre of ex-KGB ne’er-do-wells, but you won’t see the likes of Hanna Montana there.
I’m okay with Clay. I’m okay with Pussy Riot. I’m also okay with polite discussion, and I like to verbalize.
Me too. I don’t think Russia’s the place for us.
I have no problem with Pussy Riot and I hope they don’t actually have to serve the jail time. But a female, no way am I going to accept any association of Clay Aiken with vagina. And I think he would agree.
any association of Clay Aiken with vagina. And I think he would agree.
You don’t think he likes to play one from time to time?
Well, yes, that’s true. But I think that’s as close to female lady parts as he would get.
True, he may be dickless, but he is also vaginaless. And that is truly sad.
It’s obvious Putin is just a jizz goblin.
I think if we threaten to send Russia Clay Aiken, then dump him in China instead, it would do wonders towards improving American-Russian relations.
I think if we threaten to send Russia Clay Aiken, then dump him in China instead
An excellent idea! If I might build upon that, why not spare our relations with China and send him to France?
Oh, more French bashing, how predictable.
Not this time. The French love awful things, like Jerry Lewis and snails. What if they were really impressed by the gift of Clay and wanted to be friends again?
I’m not saying we should BE friends, just that they should want that.
Maybe the French would like the rappers too.
Hadn’t heard of Clay Aiken…. nice….
As for Pussy Riot… guess that’s what will happen. There’ll be pussies rioting all over the place; what better way to progress..!
You haven’t missed anything, trust me. I am engulfed in a sea of redneck culture so I am exposed to the evil that is country music against my will. Rap is worse, but not by much.
It’s a pity you have sunk so low as to besmirch not only the considerable talent of Clay Aiken but the manly leadership powers of Vladimir Putin. But kicking around classy acts is nothing new. Think of what they did with Dick Nixon.
Think of what they did with Dick Nixon.
His words in 1962 proved eerily prophetic. It’s true: we DON’T have Dick Nixon to kick around any more.
Tricky Dick a prophet!
I have always felt if there was somebody I needed to watch my back, it was him.
Eh. Our Russian neighbor is a racist and a religious fanatic who thinks TV is of the devil’s.
Your naivete regarding the demons that live within your television, radio and computer is really shocking, Ren! You may not believe in the tv demons, but you can be sure that they believe in YOU!
Since I myself, am a former original gangsta of hooliganism, I say FREE those chicks! (pussies have a right to sing in church, too) and you cannot embrace Honey Boo Boo as an American treasure. I implore you to reconsider your stand on this.
former original gangsta of hooliganism,
Former? Good for you! When did you get out?
1993