Author Archives: Smaktakula

I’m An Ass, And I’m Sorry

By Tardsie Man, you have no idea how many times I find myself saying or thinking that. Have a great weekend, folks! About these ads

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Posted in Philosophy, True-Ass Tales | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Headlines: I Was A Caveman’s Love-Puppet

By Smaktakula In which we talk a lot of shit. *** 15-year-old girl caught stripping for the 2nd time ~ You think THAT’S bad? We heard that last year a 14-year-old was caught stripping at the same place! Why Wasn’t West Virginia … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrity, Crime, Culture, Entertainment, Headlines, History, Literature, Music, News, Philosophy, Politics, Religion, Science, Sport, Stupidity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

Untruth & Consequences: Debriefing

Originally posted on Promethean Times:
By Tardsie It’s In Here Somewhere…. In which a conclusion is drawn, many “umms” and “y’knows” are uttered, and the author’s resemblance to Greta Van Susteren becomes painfully obvious. Further Reading: Mama said wisely, “A…

Posted in Culture | 1 Comment

To All The Girls I’ve Loved Before

By Tardsie The Crush: It wasn’t love, but it was something like it; a one-sided stage rehearsal for the real thing. I ached for you; you know that now. It made me laugh a little to find out years later … Continue reading

Posted in Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 20 Comments

My Missing Medal

By Smaktakula Sometimes, when you mention a grievance or accomplishment, large or small, some would-be-funnyman will pipe up, “Do you want a medal or something?” Next time this happens, tell him, “You’re goddamn right I want a medal. Let’s have … Continue reading

Posted in Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Promethean Times Questions Existence Of Sri Lanka

Originally posted on Promethean Times:
By Smaktakula Much Like Oz Or Atlantis, This Mythical Land Has Inspired The Imagination For Over 50 Years. In recent months, international news has been replete with stories about Sri Lanka, from the hot and…

Posted in Culture | 6 Comments

Headlines: Shaking And Stirred

By Smaktakula In which we celebrate our awe-inspiring ignorance by commenting on the headlines to articles we can’t be bothered to read. *** The Reasons Kim and Kanye Picked The Name “ North ” May Surprise You ~ So it isn’t … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrity, Cinema, Crime, Culture, Headlines, News, Philosophy, Politics, Religion, Science, Sport | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

The Saddest Girl I Ever Knew

By Tardsie I met a girl named Heather once at a party many years ago, back when I was single.  High summer had come to Western Washington: long, pleasant days  finally ushered into night by an extended twilight. Barbecuing weather. … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, Philosophy, True-Ass Tales | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

Christmas vs. The Family

By Smaktakula Some songs enrich our lives; others shatter them.

Posted in Culture, Religion, Stupidity | Tagged , , , , , , , | 20 Comments

Headlines: Is There A Moose Under There?

By Smaktakula In which we roll around in a great big pile of our own ignorance. *** 16 Grossest Things Parents Do for Their Kids ~ Bird parents puke down their kids’ throats. Try topping that. In the mood for love? Signs … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrity, Crime, Culture, Entertainment, Headlines, Religion, Sport, Stupidity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 31 Comments