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Category Archives: Music
Headlines 06.20.12
By Smaktakula In which we comment on today’s headlines, without reading the articles. If you’re like us, you instinctively distrust those pedantic know-it-alls who doggedly insist upon keeping abreast with the affairs of the day. Friends, reading weakens the legs. … Continue reading
Posted in Politics, Music, Celebrity, News, Entertainment
Tagged Afghanistan, bizarre sex acts, Catholic sex abuse scandal, Catholicism, childish sexual innuendo, drugs, Egypt, English, fat people, Florida, Flowbee, gay people, headlines, Honduras, Jon Gosselin, LSD, Miley Cyrus, military coup, places that suck, prison, Rapture, Thailand, toddlers & tiaras, untalented stars, Why am I so fat?, zombies
10 Comments
Musical History: The New Edition
By Smaktakula Although each was a talented vocalists in his own right, only one member of New Edition would go on to destroy one of the greatest voices in recording history.
Posted in Celebrity, Culture, Entertainment, Music
Tagged Bobby Brown, boy bands, douchebaggery, Michael Bivins, New Edition, R&B, Ralph Tresvant, Ricky Bell, Ronnie DeVoe
8 Comments
Feud With Manson Family Now Officially A ‘Beef’
By Smaktakula Corcoran State Prison, California: Messianic fantasist Charles Manson is said to be upset with website Promethean Times over some material which appeared on the site. On August 17th, Promethean Times published an article entitled Helpful Hints For Everyday Life: Family … Continue reading
Posted in Crime, Culture, Drug Culture, General Foolishness, Music, Mythology, People, Prison Culture, Relationships, Social Networking
Tagged Abigail Folger, California, Charles Manson, Charlie, Charlie Manson is batshit crazy, comical spelling errors, Corcoran State Prison, crazy fucker, crazy people, cult leaders, Helter Skelter, Irene Folstrom, Manson Family, mass murderers, mental illness, Tate-Labianca Murders
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Helpful Hints For Everyday Life: Family Matters
By Smaktakula If you ever find yourself forced to make small talk with wacky cult leader and would-be-Messiah Charles Manson, it’s probably best not to mention the Beatles unless you’ve got the time to hang out for a while.
Posted in Crime, Culture, Drug Culture, General Foolishness, History, Justice, Music, Mythology, National Events, People, Relationships, Social Networking
Tagged Bring Charlie a sandwich!, Charles Manson, Charlie Manson, Charlie Manson is batshit crazy, crazy fucker, cult leaders, cultists, demagoguery, helpful hints, Helter Skelter, Manson Family, murderers, piggies, the "White Album", the Beatles, would-be-Messiahs
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Mark Wahlberg Is Nothing Without The Funky Bunch. Nothing!
By Smaktakula There. We said it. It seems as if the brash young rapper who once snarled, Money is the thing that I need to fulfill my greed is gone. Thespian Mark Wahlberg, as Marky Mark now prefers to be called, has reached a … Continue reading
Posted in Cinema, Culture, General Foolishness, Hollywood, Music, People
Tagged awful musicians, beatdown, crossover success, Funky Bunch, hairless hit factory, hip-hop, Justin Bieber, Mark Wahlberg, Marky Mark, Marky Mark & the Funky Bunch, one-hit wonders, people with supernumerary nipples, phallophilia, rap music, Terminator 2, untalented stars, where is the Funky Bunch?, you used to be cool man
2 Comments
Eine Kleine Snatchmusik
The secret to her creativity is Lady Vajayjay. Continue reading
Posted in Art, Critters, Culture, Drug Culture, General Foolishness, Music, People, Social Networking
Tagged apologies to Mozart, attention-seeking celebrities, childish sexual innuendo, creativity, fecundity, human lava lamp, Lady Gaga, Lady Gaga's very talented vagina, Lady Minge, Lady Vajayjay, Polk High School JV Water Polo's very good day, Seriously? Do you even listen to the words coming out of your mouth?, servants' entrance, snatch, vagina, Vanity Fair, Vanity Fair is the Enquirer for college educated assholes
4 Comments
Not What You Were Looking For? Episode Three: The Search For Cock
By Smaktakula Presenting the third installment in our wildly popular series: Not What You Were Looking For? In which we list some of the search engine terms (indicated in bold) by which you found us, and for which you should rightly be ashamed. You … Continue reading
Posted in Baseball, Crime, Critters, Culture, Drug Culture, General Foolishness, Music, People, Race, Sports, World Affairs
Tagged 19th Century French Literature, bovine-on-human violence, Cat in the Hat, CDSA, childish sexual innuendo, China, cock, CockBlog, comical despots, comical spelling errors, Confessions of an America-Hating Man-Jezebel, craptastic eatery, curs, Donkey Kong, douchebaggery, dreadlocks, drugs, Duke, even Jesus thinks Fred Phelps sucks, fat people, female anatomy, Freddie Mercury, Fugeeman, George Sherrill, happy thoughts, hot and cold running chicks, Irene Folstrom, Islam, Jay Bush, Jean Valjean, Jean-Bertrand Aristide, K2, Les Miserables, madness, marijuana, Mauritanian Meat-Sword, Michael Lohan, Michael Lohan is a turd with eyes, Miley Cyrus, not what you were looking for?, old people, Olive Garden, Pakistan, pastaphilia, Pauly Shore, penis, penis-based racism, people of size, phallophilia, poor spelling, racism, rastaphilia, rave culture, Reverend Fred Phelps, Ruminations of a Junkie for Politics, senior citizens, sexy nurses, skankery, skankism, Smaktakula is aware that 'penises' is the accepted plural but if it's good enough for Steinbeck it's good enough for you, Smaktakula's troubling insecurity, Soylent Green, sweet sweet cheeba, the knacker, treachery, Turkish Tool, unctuous pimp, vagina, Victor Hugo, violence, virile He-Man, waddling grotesquery, Walt Stoelting, weed, Why am I so fat?, Wyclef Jean, your mother must be very proud
3 Comments
Everything Suddenly Coming Up Promethean Times
A Very Special Message From Smaktakula Much like human papillomavirus in America’s high schools, Promethean Times is pretty hard to avoid these days. Find Promethean Times At WWW.PROMETHEANTIMES.COM For our elderly or intellectually disinclined readers: Don’t get excited; the old address will still take you … Continue reading
Posted in Cinema, Culture, Duh, General Foolishness, Hollywood, Music, National Events, People, Relationships, Television
Tagged Carmen Electra, cataclysmically-retarded, Dave Navarro, elderly people, Facebook, Facebook friends won't pick you up at the airport, has-been, human papillomavirus, HURRR!, intellectually disinclined, it means genital warts, Ms. Electra is probably a very nice young lady, Promethean Times, self-promotion so shameless that it borders on hucksterism, senior citizens, stupid people, stupidity, Twitter, untalented stars, you most likely have papilloma sorry to say
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