Category Archives: Science

Headlines: Badly-Named And Born To Kill

Posted on June 14, 2013 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula In which we celebrate our ignorance by commenting on the headlines of news stories we can’t be bothered to actually read. *** Only Children: Lonely and Selfish? ~ Sounds like someone had to wear hand-me-downs again this year. Loser. Obama won’t … Continue reading →

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Posted in Celebrity, Crime, Headlines, Politics, Religion, Science, Stupidity | Tagged Baby Boomers, Baby Boomers eat their young, Barack Obama, cannabis, Chelsea Handler, childish sexual innuendo, Christians, Christopher Dorner, Europeans, Game of Thrones, Guantanamo Bay, hemp, Jamie Lee Curtis, Jewish people, John Travolta, marijuana, oral sex, pot, pot smokers, Rashida Jones, reefer, Richard Gere, Secret Service, sweet sweet cheeba, the French, the Germans, urban legends, weed | 11 Comments

Headlines: Eat Like A Bird

Posted on June 4, 2013 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula In which we comment on the day’s headlines without bothering to first read the stories. *** What does it really feel like to fall out of a building? ~ It hurts real bad. How ACL Injuries Are Detected on the … Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrity, Crime, Culture, Entertainment, Headlines, News, Politics, Science, Stupidity | Tagged Alzheimer's, Amanda Bynes, Barack Obama, bullies, C-section, cannabis, capital punishment, dope, duck, fun with stereotypes, grass, headlines, hemp, Honey Boo Boo, ignorance--it's what we do, Islam, Japan, Jimmy Carter, Jimmy Carter attacked by rabbit, Jimmy Carter fails to bring the hostages home, Jimmy Carter gives away the Panama Canal, Jimmy Carter kills a hooker, Koreans, Latinos, LeBron James, Los Angeles, mairjuana, master-monkey, nerds, Nigeria, places that suck, pot, pregnancy, reality television, reefer, Rihanna, Sri Lanka, Sufism, sweet sweet cheeba, tallywhacker snatchers, third-world hellhole, United Kingdom, United States of America, weed | 31 Comments

Ask A Silly Question, Get A Serious Answer

Posted on May 10, 2013 by Smaktakula

By Tardsie In which we respond to spam with a public service. Disclaimer: Although he doesn’t really do it very much any more,¹ Tardsie is a licensed insurance professional in the state of California. Please consult your insurance provider before … Continue reading →

Posted in Culture, Science | Tagged competence, insurance, insurance professionals, public service, spam | 26 Comments

Tardsie’s True-Ass Tales: Urine The Clear

Posted on January 11, 2013 by Smaktakula

By Tardsie When you hear that somebody has passed a drug test, you probably assume the person is drug-free. It’s a reasonable assumption–the testing is scientific, impartial and totally reliable. I used to think so, anyway, until a time came … Continue reading →

Posted in Crime, Culture, Science, Stupidity, True-Ass Tales | Tagged dope, drug-testing, drugs, getting away with it, hemp, Mohandas Gandhi, pot, reefer, Rosa Parks, sweet sweet cheeba, victimless crimes, Washington State, weed, you suck so bad Lewis County so so bad | 32 Comments

Headlines: In Fact, Yes We Did

Posted on January 10, 2013 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula In which we comment on the headlines of the day without bothering to read the articles. *** Are You Coddling Your Grandkids? ~ If you’re not, then you’re a lousy fucking grandparent. Survey: Chinese Opinions of Obama, U.S. Slipping ~ That’s got … Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrity, Cinema, Crime, Culture, Entertainment, Headlines, History, Music, News, Politics, Science, Sport, Stupidity | Tagged Alabama, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, cannabis, China, cocaine, coke, don't hate us because we're ignorant, dope, drugs, Ellen DeGeneres, fun with stereotypes, gay people, has-beens, headlines, hemp, HIV, India, Kirstie Alley, Lady Gaga, leukemia, marijuana, Mark Hamill, merry widows, Nazis, NFL, Pakistan, Pittsburgh Pirates, places that suck, pot, prostitution, reefer, Rolling Stones, Space Shuttle Endeavour, sweet sweet cheeba, weed | 33 Comments

Tardsie’s True-Ass Tales: Blowing My Top

Posted on December 27, 2012 by Smaktakula

By Tardsie There are a lot of fucked-up medical and psychological conditions out there. You don’t even have to stray outside the commonplace to find unenviable afflictions like PTSD, testicular cancer and male-pattern baldness. But when you get to the … Continue reading →

Posted in Science, True-Ass Tales | Tagged all in your head, exploding head syndrome, fake diseases, no brains no headaches, orgasm, Tardsie's True-Ass Tales | 31 Comments

Headlines 12.10.12

Posted on December 10, 2012 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula In which we base our comments solely on the headlines. We leave the actual reading to society dames, old people and the friendless sissy boys who enjoy that kind of thing. *** 7 Reasons Your Neighbors Have More … Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrity, Culture, Entertainment, Headlines, History, Science, Stupidity | Tagged Alabama, Albert Einstein, Alzheimer's, Baseball, Black Hawk Down, community college vs real college, Des Moines, great white shark, headlines, Hollywood, Hurricane Katrina, Hurricane Sandy, Jesus Juice, Nadya Suleman, New Orleans, New York City, Octomom, polio, pornography, Pussy Riot, redheads, Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French, Somalia, United Nations, Weekly World News | 24 Comments

Give Cancer A Punch

Posted on December 4, 2012 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula Were I able to travel through time and make the 4th dimension my bitch, I’d try to use my power wisely. One thing that I think would be a lot of fun is to travel forward in time. … Continue reading →

Posted in History, Science | Tagged cancer, death by cancer, helpful hints, Joan of Arc, Miss You Mom, time travel | 16 Comments

A New Golden Rule

Posted on November 16, 2012 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula In which we present a happy thought for the weekend: Life is demanding, noisy and chaotic. It is distracting. The myriad stimuli with which we anesthetize ourselves and to which we have become hopelessly addicted often obscure the everyday … Continue reading →

Posted in Culture, Philosophy, Science | Tagged Golden Rule, happy thoughts, helpful hints, urinating in public, urination | 43 Comments

Headlines: 09.17.12

Posted on September 17, 2012 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula As the news articles of the day are so replete with unfamiliar words and challenging concepts, we’re happy simply to comment on the headlines. *** Carrying these babies for my brother ~ Is considered taboo outside of Appalachia. Gulag Reform: … Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrity, Culture, Entertainment, Politics, Science, Sport, Stupidity | Tagged adoption, Al Gore, anti-semitism, Appalachia, Baltimore, Barack Obama, cannabis, Chicago, China, ChocoFührer, climate change, comical despots, dope, Electoral College, Frosted Mini-Wheats, grass, headlines, hemp, incest, Islam, Joe Blanton, losers, marijuana, Maryland, Michael Phelps, Mitt Romney, Modern Family, Mormons, morons, New York, NYPD, places that suck, reefer, Robert Mugabe, sea otters, sharks, sweet sweet cheeba, teacher's strike, Waltons, weed, white people, you got a real purty mouth, Zimbabwe | 30 Comments

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Category Archives: Science

Headlines: Badly-Named And Born To Kill

Headlines: Eat Like A Bird

Ask A Silly Question, Get A Serious Answer

Tardsie’s True-Ass Tales: Urine The Clear

Headlines: In Fact, Yes We Did

Tardsie’s True-Ass Tales: Blowing My Top

Headlines 12.10.12

Give Cancer A Punch

A New Golden Rule

Headlines: 09.17.12

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