Category Archives: True-Ass Tales

The Aging Gunslinger

By Tardsie I drank a lot when I was younger. Too much, I guess. I enjoyed the consciousness-altering aspect of  booze, and for a while, there was a novelty to getting fucked-up. When, as is the nature of novelty, it … Continue reading

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Posted in Stupidity, True-Ass Tales | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Hungarian Fone Kard

By Tardsie In which we are told we can have anything we want.* *Certain conditions may apply.

Posted in History, True-Ass Tales | Tagged , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Fresh Socks For Homeless Walter

By Tardsie My encounters with police officers have largely been, if not pleasant, then at least hassle-free. It helps that I’m friendly, polite, and never in my life more caucasian than when I talk to a cop. I think most cops are pretty decent … Continue reading

Posted in Crime, Culture, Stupidity, True-Ass Tales | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 34 Comments

I’m An Ass, And I’m Sorry

By Tardsie Man, you have no idea how many times I find myself saying or thinking that. Have a great weekend, folks!

Posted in Philosophy, True-Ass Tales | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

The Saddest Girl I Ever Knew

By Tardsie I met a girl named Heather once at a party many years ago, back when I was single.  High summer had come to Western Washington: long, pleasant days  finally ushered into night by an extended twilight. Barbecuing weather. … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, Philosophy, True-Ass Tales | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

Worst. Party. Ever.

By Tardsie In which are discussed tolerance, theft and weed abatement. Of course this post is not safe for work. It contains lots of salty language and one particularly offensive word (not used gratuitously). Enjoy!

Posted in Stupidity, True-Ass Tales | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Evangelical Victory Association

By Tardsie Many years ago, I remarked to my then-girlfriend Eva how awesome it would be to be the leader of a bizarre cult. Being a profoundly lazy man, I’ve always envied the life of leisure such a vocation would … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, Philosophy, Religion, True-Ass Tales | Tagged , , , , , | 31 Comments