Category Archives: True-Ass Tales

I’m An Ass, And I’m Sorry

By Tardsie Man, you have no idea how many times I find myself saying or thinking that. Have a great weekend, folks! About these ads

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Posted in Philosophy, True-Ass Tales | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

The Saddest Girl I Ever Knew

By Tardsie I met a girl named Heather once at a party many years ago, back when I was single.  High summer had come to Western Washington: long, pleasant days  finally ushered into night by an extended twilight. Barbecuing weather. … Continue reading

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Worst. Party. Ever.

By Tardsie In which are discussed tolerance, theft and weed abatement. Of course this post is not safe for work. It contains lots of salty language and one particularly offensive word (not used gratuitously). Enjoy!

Posted in Stupidity, True-Ass Tales | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Evangelical Victory Association

By Tardsie Many years ago, I remarked to my then-girlfriend Eva how awesome it would be to be the leader of a bizarre cult. Being a profoundly lazy man, I’ve always envied the life of leisure such a vocation would … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, Philosophy, Religion, True-Ass Tales | Tagged , , , , , | 31 Comments

Oh, The People You’ll Meet…In Juvie

By Tardsie When I was seventeen I did something that earned me thirty days in Remann Hall, a juvenile detention facility in Tacoma, Washington. It was pretty serious, and I was lucky in the end to just get the thirty … Continue reading

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Overheard In The Bathroom At An Erasure Concert

By Tardsie Several years ago I was at an Erasure concert in Southern California. After the opening act, a painfully unfunny set by comedienne Margaret Cho which mainly consisted of mocking her immigrant mother’s English¹, I headed to the bathroom … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrity, Culture, Entertainment, Music, True-Ass Tales | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 37 Comments

A Boy Named Strudel

By Tardsie Let’s remember that name-calling hurts.

Posted in True-Ass Tales | Tagged , , , , , , | 26 Comments

It Was A Privilege Just To Have Known Her

I spoke the following words at my mother’s funeral several years ago. My life was very different when I wrote these lines, and now I’m married with children of my own. But in revisiting these words for the first time … Continue reading

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Gentleman’s Clubs: One Night In Scranton

By Tardsie Part II in our hard-hitting series on Gentleman’s Clubs. Be sure to check out Part I: De-Billed and Unfulfilled. This One Has It All! Kids Possibly Getting Hurt Off-Camera! West Coast Chauvinism! Bad Singing!

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Tales Of The Dewey Presidency

By Tardsie You probably know by now that my hapless college friend Steve frequently found himself on the receiving end of innumerable pranks and other instances of only partially deserved churlishness. There were many times, however, when his particularly high-strung … Continue reading

Posted in Entertainment, Stupidity, True-Ass Tales | Tagged , , , , , , , | 30 Comments