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Category Archives: National Events
Revealed: Why John Adams Became President
By Smaktakula 1) He couldn’t play guitar. 2) Unlike his cousin Sam, a successful brewer to this day, he had no marketable skills. 3) His career as a psychic proved a bust when he made well-publicized but shitty predictions like this … Continue reading
Posted in Culture, General Foolishness, History, Holiday, Humor, Mythology, National Events, National Politics, People, Politics, Relationships, Satire
Tagged guitar, Independence Day, John Adams, July 2nd, July 4th, lame presidents, marketable skills, President Adams, Samuel Adams, shitty psychics, Thomas Jefferson
11 Comments
This Day In History: July 2, 1776 CE
On which the Founding Fathers tell the tyrant King George III what he can do with his onerous taxes and hated Redcoats.
Posted in Culture, History, Holiday, Mythology, National Events, People, Relationships, Social Networking
Tagged 1776, all men are created equal, Declaration of Independence, Founding Fathers, Great Britain, Independence Day, John Hancock, July 2nd, July 4th, King George III, liberty, Liberty Hall, Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, Redcoats, taxation without representation, this day in history, Thomas Jefferson, United States of America
8 Comments
LiLo’s Got The Meth Mouth
By Smaktakula True? False? That’s what the gossip sites are reporting, anyway. More accurately, they’re claiming that the self-destructing former starlet and Flower of American Skankhood has a mouth full of rotting teeth, from which Promethean Times irresponsibly infers that … Continue reading
Meg: A Clear And Present Danger To The Golden State
By Smaktakula When Promethean Times first commented on the phenomenon of kids using nutmeg as a recreational hallucinogen (see Sweet Lady Meg), we believed–perhaps foolishly–that these were isolated incidents, and that the so-called ‘nutmeg epidemic’ would evaporate, as with Jenkem … Continue reading
Posted in Crime, Culture, Drug Culture, Drugs, General Foolishness, Health, People, Places
Tagged acid, California, drugs, Golden State, hallucinogens, LSD, marijuana legalization, Meg, Meg 2010, Meg Griffin, reefer, spice rack highs, sweet lady meg, sweet sweet cheeba, the Spice, weed
2 Comments
Remember America’s Fallen By Making A Purchase
By Smaktakula It has become easy to think of Memorial Day as simply a time to squeeze in that last vacation before summer comes to an abrupt and aching end, an excuse to drive somewhere and there to cook a piece of meat, … Continue reading
Posted in Culture, General Foolishness, History, Holiday, Mythology, National Events, North America
Tagged $$$, America's fallen, Blame Arturo!, capitalism, end of summer, Labor Day, Mammon, Memorial Day, merchandise, sacrifice, shining city on a hill, some gave all, stars & stripes, summer sales, the terrorists win, true meanings of holidays, United States of America
2 Comments
Careless Boy’s Mother Ruins A Good Thing
By Smaktakula Livermore, California: A local skank faces 67 charges related to sexual acts with teenage boys. Christine Shreeve Hubbs, 42, is said to have engaged in the scandalous behavior with two junior high school students, both in her home … Continue reading
Posted in Constitutional Issues, Crime, General Foolishness, National Events, North America, People, Relationships, Scandal, Social Networking
Tagged California, Christine Shreeve Hubbs, coming of age, Coo Coo Ca-Choo!, cougars, double standards, hot sex offenders, molestation, Mrs. Robinson, nice job Mom, sex and firearms, sexual predators, skankery, Smaktakula's hypocrisy can sometimes be astounding, The Graduate
4 Comments
Meet Tomorrow’s Tyrants Today: Even Littler Kim
By Smaktakula The question of succession in North Korea weighs heavily on heads of state across the globe. This is particularly true for neighbors of the belligerent Asian nation, who fear the possible future of a North Korea even more despotic and mercurial than the current … Continue reading
Posted in Asia, Culture, History, Military, Mythology, Politics, World Affairs
Tagged 'Lil 'Lil Kim, Brilliant Comrade, California, comical despots, fun with stereotypes, impoverished third-world hellhole, Kim Curly-jo, Kim Jong-il, Kim Jong-un, Kim Jong-un is batshit crazy, Kim Larry-il, meet tomorrow's tyrants today, Nintendo, North Korea, Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!, third generation tyrants
4 Comments
Man, The Discovery Channel Really Pissed That Guy Off
By Smaktakula Self-loathing nutjob James Lee stormed into the Discovery Channel offices Wednesday looking for justice. Instead, the environmental radical bumbled his way into a delicious pile of irony. Lee’s apparent purpose was to serve as a sort of homicidal … Continue reading
Posted in Corporate Culture, Crime, Critters, Culture, General Foolishness, Justice, National Events, North America, People, Relationships, Terrorism
Tagged assfaces who write manifestos, batshit crazy, crazy people, death by sniper, Discovery Channel, douchebaggery, environmentalism, James Lee, James Lee was batshit crazy, loveless loners, Old Yeller, Shark Week, Terrorism
2 Comments
Jimmy Carter Makes Modest Headway In Ongoing Bid For Historical Relevance
By Smaktakula Historical footnote Jimmy Carter has managed to secure the release of Aijalon Gomes from North Korea. Gomes had been sentenced to eight years hard labor under the autocratic regime of the dying, but still comically despotic Kim Jong-il. … Continue reading
Posted in Asia, Crime, History, International Relations, Justice, National Events, People, Politics, Relationships, World Affairs
Tagged Aijalon Gomes, Bill Clinton, Bill vs. Jimmy, comical despots, do-gooders, Euna Lee, Habitat For Humanity, historical footnote, historical footnotes, hostages freed, I just called 'em both 'LingLee.', ineffectual presidents, Jimmy Carter, Kim Jong-il, Laura Ling, North Korea, one-termers, President Carter, President Clinton, skonks, Slick Willy
8 Comments
