Tag Archives: Ashton Kutcher

Headlines 11.02.12

Posted on November 2, 2012 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula In which we showcase our unparalleled knack for expounding authoritatively upon a broad range of topics about which we remain not only ignorant, but deliberately so. We lose interest after the headlines. *** Deaf dolphin rescued in La. will get … Continue reading →

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Posted in Celebrity, Crime, Culture, Entertainment, Headlines, News, Politics, Sport, Stupidity | Tagged 2012 Presidential Campaign, 2012 World Series, Ashton Kutcher, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, childish sexual innuendo, comic books, death by hurricane, death by shark, Detroit, Detroit Tigers, dolphins, fat people, FDR, Geneva, great white shark, headlines, hurricanes, ignorance--it's what we do, Jersey Shore, Joe Biden, left-handed people, Louisiana, Meat Loaf, Mississippi, Mitt Romney, New Jersey, North Korea, polio, retarded, San Francisco Giants, Sandy, slut-shaming, Smaktakula's hypocrisy can sometimes be astounding, Switzerland, teachers, unfortunate ways to die, white people, Why am I so fat?, Why am I so stupid?, you are not the father | 21 Comments

Headlines 12.15.11

Posted on December 15, 2011 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula In which we respond to the headlines, while ignoring the content. *** Asians, Too, Mated With Archaic Humans, DNA Hints ~ So it’s not just Ashton Kutcher. Did Lohan crash DiCaprio’s party? ~ Look, just because I let you blow … Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrity, Culture, Entertainment, History, Music, News, Religion, Science, Sport, Stupidity | Tagged Apolo Ohno, Ashton Kutcher, Britney Spears, childish sexual innuendo, Colorado, crackheads, Denver Broncos, Elizabeth Taylor, fat people, Finland, Godzilla, great white shark, headlines, Japan, Jesus Christ, Justin Bieber, Leonardo DiCaprio, Lindsay Lohan, Los Angeles, masturbation, moochers, Nadya Suleman, old people, Pauly D, rape, Tim Tebow, Tokyo, Twilight, Uranus | Leave a comment

Headlines 11.09.11

Posted on November 9, 2011 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula Promethean Times’ semi-regular celebration of illiteracy–we read the headlines and skip the articles. *** Grandmother Gives Worst ‘Reason’ for Tossing 2-Year-Old Over Mall Balcony ~ Because there are so many good reasons for hurling your grandson to his death. … Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrity, Crime, Culture, Entertainment, History, News, Science, Sport, Stupidity | Tagged 1%, 99%, AIDS, Allah, Ashton Kutcher, boobs, breasts, death by falling, Demi Moore, Erasure, fecal transplant, gay people, geeks, George Lucas, gonorrhea, headlines, homosexuals, Indiana Jones, Iran, Iranian Hostage Crisis, Madonna, Michael Moore, Mississippi, NBA, perverted science, Steven Spielberg, Tennessee, Uganda, Why am I so fat? | Leave a comment

Headlines 10.07.11

Posted on October 7, 2011 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula In which we opine on the latest headlines, without bothering to first read the stories. *** Seoul to Introduce Female-Only Subway Cars Korean perverts to introduce hidden cameras to female-only subway cars. Early Adversity, Adult Misery: How Small … Continue reading →

Posted in Crime, Culture, History, News, Politics | Tagged Africa, African famine, Ashton Kutcher, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Budweiser, butterface, death by drowning, debt crisis, Democrats, Europe, great white shark, headlines, hos, Indiana, living in a van down by the river, Matt Foley, Mississippi, online dating, perverts, pizza, Poltergeist, prostitution, Republicans, reset button, skunky beer, Somalia, South Korea, Tanzania, tapeworms, TV for idiots, Two and a Half Men, United States of America, vegans, Vermont, White House, you're welcome | Leave a comment

Stupid Show Now Even More Stupider

Posted on May 18, 2011 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula Across the nation, morons who love bad TV are screeching with joy and hurling their own feces at one another upon the news that Two and a Half Men will be returning to television. Fans of vapid entertainment … Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrity, Culture, News, Stupidity | Tagged Ashton Kutcher, Charlie Sheen, Charlie Sheen is a drugged-out wifebeater, Demi Moore, geriatric sex, May-December romances, prettyboys, Punk'd, shitty TV shows, stupid people, That 70s Show, TV for idiots, TV makes you stupid, Two and a Half Men, untalented stars, Why am I so stupid? | 2 Comments

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Tag Archives: Ashton Kutcher

Headlines 11.02.12

Headlines 12.15.11

Headlines 11.09.11

Headlines 10.07.11

Stupid Show Now Even More Stupider

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