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Tag Archives: Barack Obama
Headlines: When Pigs Float
By Smaktakula Because we learn everything we need to know about the world from the headlines of the day! *** Police remove woman who yelled ‘Boring!’ during symphony ~ She’s only saying what everybody’s thinking. The kilogram has gained weight ~ It sounds … Continue reading →
Posted in Celebrity, Crime, Culture, Entertainment, Headlines, History, Music, News
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Tagged Adam Lambert, Balto, Barack Obama, bongwater, breastuses, cannabis, Christopher Dorner, Clark Kent, David Arquette, dope, empty promises, headlines, hemp, lies men tell, marijuana, reefer, STDs, sweet sweet cheeba, synthetic marijuana, weed, Wicca
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43 Comments
Headlines: In Fact, Yes We Did
By Smaktakula In which we comment on the headlines of the day without bothering to read the articles. *** Are You Coddling Your Grandkids? ~ If you’re not, then you’re a lousy fucking grandparent. Survey: Chinese Opinions of Obama, U.S. Slipping ~ That’s got … Continue reading →
Posted in Celebrity, Cinema, Crime, Culture, Entertainment, Headlines, History, Music, News, Politics, Science, Sport, Stupidity
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Tagged Alabama, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, cannabis, China, cocaine, coke, don't hate us because we're ignorant, dope, drugs, Ellen DeGeneres, fun with stereotypes, gay people, has-beens, headlines, hemp, HIV, India, Kirstie Alley, Lady Gaga, leukemia, marijuana, Mark Hamill, merry widows, Nazis, NFL, Pakistan, Pittsburgh Pirates, places that suck, pot, prostitution, reefer, Rolling Stones, Space Shuttle Endeavour, sweet sweet cheeba, weed
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33 Comments
Headlines 11.29.12
By Smaktakula In which we comment on the headlines of the day without first bothering to read the stories. *** Money lessons from a lifelong teacher ~ If this guy knew the first thing about money, he would have chosen a more … Continue reading →
Posted in Culture, Entertainment, Headlines, History, News, Politics
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Tagged Barack Obama, Beach Boys, cannibalism, David Viens, Ehud Barak, Gangam Style, Gaza, hazing, headlines, Paul McCartney, Smaktakula's distrust of short people, the cult-like devotion accorded to Steve Jobs by effete Mac users, Van Halen, Wings
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42 Comments
Please Don’t Vote Stupid!
By Smaktakula With the 2012 Presidential Election at last coming to its ugly and no-doubt contentious conclusion, the American public is eager for the cessation of those unpleasantries attendant with any election year, but which have become especially pronounced in recent … Continue reading →
Posted in Culture, News, Politics, Stupidity
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Tagged Adolf Hitler, Barack Obama, death by not voting, democracy, democratic republic, Diddy, Hulk Hogan, ignorance--it's what America does!, Mitt Romney, Paris Hilton, Pauly Shore, Rick Santorum, stupid people, stupid voters, United States of America, Vote or Die!, Why am I so stupid?
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29 Comments
Headlines 11.02.12
By Smaktakula In which we showcase our unparalleled knack for expounding authoritatively upon a broad range of topics about which we remain not only ignorant, but deliberately so. We lose interest after the headlines. *** Deaf dolphin rescued in La. will get … Continue reading →
Posted in Celebrity, Crime, Culture, Entertainment, Headlines, News, Politics, Sport, Stupidity
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Tagged 2012 Presidential Campaign, 2012 World Series, Ashton Kutcher, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, childish sexual innuendo, comic books, death by hurricane, death by shark, Detroit, Detroit Tigers, dolphins, fat people, FDR, Geneva, great white shark, headlines, hurricanes, ignorance--it's what we do, Jersey Shore, Joe Biden, left-handed people, Louisiana, Meat Loaf, Mississippi, Mitt Romney, New Jersey, North Korea, polio, retarded, San Francisco Giants, Sandy, slut-shaming, Smaktakula's hypocrisy can sometimes be astounding, Switzerland, teachers, unfortunate ways to die, white people, Why am I so fat?, Why am I so stupid?, you are not the father
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21 Comments
Headlines 10.26.12
By Smaktakula In Which We Comment On The Day’s Headlines Without Bothering To Read The Articles *** Resort’s Snow Won’t Be Pure This Year; It’ll Be Sewage ~ Well, that stinks! Cops fatally shoot suspect wanted for impregnating 11-year-old ~ The tragedy is that … Continue reading →
Posted in Crime, Culture, News, Politics, Sport, Stupidity
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Tagged abortion, Barack Obama, Baseball, Bill Clinton, blame Obama, bull sharks, childish sexual innuendo, David Hasselhoff, death by cop, Germany, Germany's dark history, great white shark, Gruenenthal, headlines, ignorance--it's what we do, illegal aliens, Iran, Jay-Z, Jimmy Carter, Los Angeles, Malala Yousafzai, Minneapolis, Mitt Romney, morning after pill, no that's *fellates*, Ronald Reagan, San Francisco Giants, sex, sex scandal, St. Louis Cardinals, Texas, Thalidomide, Vietnam
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22 Comments
Headlines 10.16.12
By Smaktakula In Which We Comment On The Headlines Without Bothering To Read The Articles *** 9 Reasons Why Being a Mom Qualifies You to Work in a Brothel ~ Well, obviously, you’re no stranger to cock. Let’s just get that … Continue reading →
Posted in Celebrity, Crime, Culture, Entertainment, Music, News, Stupidity
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Tagged ...you never go back, Afghanistan, Al Gore, Al Gore is the political Art Garfunkel, Alzheimer's, Arabs, Barack Obama, beauty pageant, Bush Doctrine, Chelsea Clinton, China, deaf people, dope, douchebaggery, drugs, Egypt, Gloria Allred, grass, headlines, hemp, hippies, Honey Boo Boo, Hosni Mubarak, illegal aliens, Justin Bieber, Kim Kardashian, Marines, MILFs, Mom, Paul Ryan, pot, reefer, Rihanna, seriously--hippies are odious, Somali pirates, Somalia, sweet sweet cheeba, weed, Why am I so stupid?
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35 Comments
Headlines 10.02.12
By Smaktakula *** In which we opine on the headlines of the day without bothering to read the stories. It’s well-known that most news stories are written at no less than a sixth-grade level, and folks–we don’t read too good. … Continue reading →
Posted in Celebrity, Cinema, Culture, History, News, Politics, Religion, Stupidity
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Tagged "Junior", ADHD, America--Fuck Yeah!, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Barack Obama, bullies, Captain Underpants, congress, cyber-bullying, drugs, Europe, headlines, heroin, illiteracy is not funny!, imaginary racism, Islam, Josef Stalin, kiddie porn, Louisville, models, Mt. Everest, Occupy, racism, sex tape, tigers, UN, United Nations, United States of America, Why am I so fat?, Why am I so stupid?
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35 Comments
Headlines: 09.17.12
By Smaktakula As the news articles of the day are so replete with unfamiliar words and challenging concepts, we’re happy simply to comment on the headlines. *** Carrying these babies for my brother ~ Is considered taboo outside of Appalachia. Gulag Reform: … Continue reading →
Posted in Celebrity, Culture, Entertainment, Politics, Science, Sport, Stupidity
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Tagged adoption, Al Gore, anti-semitism, Appalachia, Baltimore, Barack Obama, cannabis, Chicago, China, ChocoFührer, climate change, comical despots, dope, Electoral College, Frosted Mini-Wheats, grass, headlines, hemp, incest, Islam, Joe Blanton, losers, marijuana, Maryland, Michael Phelps, Mitt Romney, Modern Family, Mormons, morons, New York, NYPD, places that suck, reefer, Robert Mugabe, sea otters, sharks, sweet sweet cheeba, teacher's strike, Waltons, weed, white people, you got a real purty mouth, Zimbabwe
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30 Comments
Headlines: The Real Secret Of Our Success
By Smaktakula In which we comment on the headlines without first reading the articles. *** The Task in Tampa: Reintroducing Romney ~ Hey–we know social situations can sometimes be awkward. Just put your brave face on, go out there and say, “Hi … Continue reading →
Posted in Celebrity, Culture, News, Politics
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Tagged Adolf Hitler, American Airlines, Anaheim Angels, Barack Obama, Boston Red Sox, breastuses, childish sexual innuendo, Detroit, dope, grass, headlines, hemp, HURRR!, Kanye West, Katie Holmes, Kim Kardashian, Latinos, marijuana, Mitt Romney, muslims, pot, Prince Harry, prostitution, Rally Monkey, reefer, Serena Williams, Sikhs, sweet sweet cheeba, Tom Cruise, Venus Williams, weed
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25 Comments
