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Tag Archives: Barack Obama
Headlines 05.24.12
By Smaktakula In which we comment on topical events after having only bothered to read the headlines, which at least makes us better-informed than the average American. *** Fiona Apple’s new album title is 23 words long ~ We’ll have to … Continue reading →
Posted in Music, News, Stupidity, Culture, Politics, Religion
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Tagged Arkansas, Barack Obama, death by cancer, Does Nature Want You Dead? Yes It Does., Fiona Apple, gay marriage, headlines, Mitt Romney, muslims, Opera, Rick Santorum, Robin Gibb, Rocky the Flying Squirrel, Secret Service, Why am I so lonely?, Won't Ask Don't Care
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23 Comments
Headlines 05.18.12
By Smaktakula In which we respond to the headlines without reading the articles. Reading is for the weak. Why This Isn’t ‘The Most Important Election’ ~ Because they can’t ALL be, right? Cool or creepy? It kisses back ~ Depends on what … Continue reading →
Posted in Culture, Entertainment
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Tagged alcohol abuse, Barack Obama, Baseball, breast implants, breastuses, Diabetes, dope, grass, headlines, hemp, Jewish people, Los Angeles Dodgers, marijuana, natural selection, obesity, Pauly Shore, PMS, pot, reefer, Secret Service, sweet sweet cheeba, weed, Wrigley Field
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11 Comments
White People
By Smaktakula
Posted in Culture, Culture
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Tagged 'Lil Klansman, Asians, Barack Obama, caucasians, Dockers, hate groups, Hernan Cortes, Jeff Foxworthy, Jeffrey Dahmer, KKK, Klansman, Ku Klux Klan, Mt. Everest, serial killers, Sir Edmund Hillary, Tenzing Norgay, the stupid things white people do to their hair, white man's overbite, white people, whitey
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14 Comments
The Supreme Court: Supremely Fabulous
By Smaktakula People who say that Barack Obama nominated the first gay Supreme Court justice in Elena Kagan have obviously forgotten that former Chief Justice William Rehnquist, a Nixon appointee, presided over Bill Clinton’s impeachment proceedings wearing a robe he … Continue reading →
Return Of Not What You Were Looking For?
By Tardsie Not everyone who visits Promethean Times finds us on purpose. Here we respond to some of the bizarre, dangerous and downright foul search terms by which you found us. Enjoy! *** fags love straight men ~ It’s true, but … Continue reading →
Posted in Stupidity, Culture
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Tagged drugs, abortion, Barack Obama, China, Baseball, marijuana, Robert Mugabe, douchebaggery, Taliban, pot, reefer, weed, urban legends, Afghanistan, sweet sweet cheeba, dope, mullets, hemp, grass, Stupid Gene, Barry Bonds, North Korea, tiny penis, Westboro Baptist Church, Emmanuel Lewis, degenerates, Courtney Love, even Jesus thinks Fred Phelps sucks, seriously--hippies are odious, drunken Irishmen, not what you were looking for?, vagina, Bert & Ernie, Kim Jong-un, fellatrix, Prince William, fauxhawks, testicles, Massengill disposable douche, Russell Brand, Camilla Parker Bowles, Billy Carter, pork, Tina Fey, Tina Fey not dead, Hugh Hefner, water sports, breastuses, Pedobear, rope, black sororities, Yao Ming, Herb Tarlek, femullet
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12 Comments
Profiles In Dignity
By Tardsie “Someone showed me a picture and I just laughed Dignity never been photographed” Bob Dylan *** In 1965, songwriters Hal David and Burt Bacharach opined that love was ‘the only thing that there’s too little of.’ As any … Continue reading →
Posted in Culture, Stupidity
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Tagged Barack Obama, Bob Dylan, Burt Bacharach, childish sexual innuendo, Danica Patrick, dignity, evolution, fat people, Hal David, love, moobs, Pedobear, Promethean Times' ongoing commitment to treating all peoples and cultures with dignity and respect, Smaktakula's hatred of the San Francisco Giants, Star Trek dorks, the myriad facets of gayness, Why am I so fat?
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9 Comments
Don’t Vote Stupid
By Smaktakula With election talk heating up across the nation, Americans are bracing for the surfeit of unpleasantries attendant with any election year. The most ubiquitous among these are the dizzying array of inescapable political ads which ruin commercial breaks … Continue reading →
Posted in Celebrity, Culture, Politics, Stupidity
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Tagged Adolf Hitler, Barack Obama, death by not voting, democracy, democratic republic, electoral process, P. Diddy, Paris Hilton, Pauly Shore, Rick Santorum, stupid people, stupid voters, United States of America, Vote or Die!, voting, Why am I so stupid?
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5 Comments
Promethean Times’ 2011 Person Of The Year: Us Again
By The Promethean Times Editorial Staff We’ll admit it–we didn’t think it would come to this. We figured we’d be rich by now, or at the very least the Rapture would have freed us from our myriad woes. Since it … Continue reading →
Posted in Celebrity, News, History, Culture, Crime, Politics, Religion, Entertainment
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Tagged Tea Party, muslims, Nancy Pelosi, Fidel Castro, Barack Obama, Washington State, Robert Mugabe, Zimbabwe, Muammar al-Gaddafi, arson, Republicans, Democrats, California, Armenian Genocide, United States of America, Lindsay Lohan, LiLo, Afghanistan, Flower of American Skankhood, Charlie Sheen, North Korea, Celebrity Death Watch, Kim Jong-il, gay people, Osama bin Laden, 'Lil Kim, self-promotion so shameless that it borders on hucksterism, Smaktakula is aware that 'penises' is the accepted plural but if it's good enough for Steinbeck it's good enough for us, dumb kids and the dumb things they do to fuck up their lives, Kim Kardashian, Kim Jong-un, narcos, Prince William, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Kate Middleton, Diana Spencer, Leslie Nielsen, the French, Promethean Times' Person of the Year, Steve Jobs, the cult-like devotion accorded to Steve Jobs by effete Mac users, 2010, 2011, Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French, places that suck, Libya, the West, San Francisco, South Africa, puppy-killing, Rapture, prognostication, Dirk Nowitzki, LeBron James, Lewis County, Smaktakula's vendetta against Lewis County, Amy Winehouse, Arab Spring, Julius Malema, Oakland, Occupy, ennui, Mayans, 2012, 1492, Democratic Republic of Congo, Gabby Giffords, Code Pink, John Boehner, Cleveland, Randy 'Macho Man' Savage, Jani Lane
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Beltway Horror! President Attempts To Eat Child
By Smaktakula Irresponsible? Listen folks, pictures do not lie! ∞T.
Posted in Celebrity, Politics, Stupidity
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Tagged a picture is worth a thousand words, Barack Obama, irresponsible allegations
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Democratic Strategists Hard At Work To Uncover More Code Words For ‘Black’
By Smaktakula In 2008, Barack Obama’s supporters did something previously unseen in American presidential politics–they made race an issue in the election. Recognizing that America’s long-standing racial guilt could easily be played upon, supporters of the then-presidential candidate were quick to … Continue reading →
