Tag Archives: breastuses

Headlines: When Pigs Float

Posted on April 1, 2013 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula Because we learn everything we need to know about the world from the headlines of the day! *** Police remove woman who yelled ‘Boring!’ during symphony ~ She’s only saying what everybody’s thinking. The kilogram has gained weight ~ It sounds … Continue reading →

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Posted in Celebrity, Crime, Culture, Entertainment, Headlines, History, Music, News | Tagged Adam Lambert, Balto, Barack Obama, bongwater, breastuses, cannabis, Christopher Dorner, Clark Kent, David Arquette, dope, empty promises, headlines, hemp, lies men tell, marijuana, reefer, STDs, sweet sweet cheeba, synthetic marijuana, weed, Wicca | 43 Comments

Headlines: The Real Secret Of Our Success

Posted on September 4, 2012 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula In which we comment on the headlines without first reading the articles. *** The Task in Tampa: Reintroducing Romney ~ Hey–we know social situations can sometimes be awkward. Just put your brave face on, go out there and say, “Hi … Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrity, Culture, News, Politics | Tagged Adolf Hitler, American Airlines, Anaheim Angels, Barack Obama, Boston Red Sox, breastuses, childish sexual innuendo, Detroit, dope, grass, headlines, hemp, HURRR!, Kanye West, Katie Holmes, Kim Kardashian, Latinos, marijuana, Mitt Romney, muslims, pot, Prince Harry, prostitution, Rally Monkey, reefer, Serena Williams, Sikhs, sweet sweet cheeba, Tom Cruise, Venus Williams, weed | 25 Comments

Headlines: Great Big Boobs & A Phyllis Diller Smile

Posted on August 24, 2012 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula *** In which we indulge both our love of talking out of our asses and our shameful laziness by commenting on the headlines while leaving the actual reading to you. *** Why Romney is so unpopular with black voters ~ Besides running … Continue reading →

Posted in Crime, Culture, Entertainment, History, News, Politics, Sport, Stupidity | Tagged Anaheim Angels, avoiding responsibility, Barack Obama, binge drinking, black people, breast implants, breastuses, celebrity deaths, childish sexual innuendo, comical despots, death penalty, DUI, fun with stereotypes, great white shark, Greece, headlines, Holocaust, Japan, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Joe Biden, Kim Jong-un, Kylie Minogue, legitimate rape, Mary Kay, Mitt Romney, Molly Ringwald, North Korea, peanuts, Phyllis Diller, racism, Rally Monkey, rape, Sikhs, Snoopy, Spongebob Squarepants, Tampa Bay Rays, Taylor Swift, Teletubbies, Ukraine, untalented authors, white people, whitey, your mother must be very proud | 25 Comments

Ask Tardsie: So, Ya Like Rocket Ships?

Posted on August 14, 2012 by Smaktakula

By Tardsie We are delighted to present a second installment of Ask Tardsie, where we answer your questions–no matter how bizarre or uninformed–as honestly as we feel like. NOW IN GLORIOUS HEAR-O-VISION! *** Jennifer Worrell is eager to learn how “quaint” … Continue reading →

Posted in Entertainment | Tagged Ask Tardsie, boobs, breastuses, dentists, DMV, dope, gay men, grass, hairless man-boys, hemp, pot, reefer, rocket ships, sadism, sweet sweet cheeba, weed | 19 Comments

Headlines 05.18.12

Posted on May 18, 2012 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula In which we respond to the headlines without reading the articles. Reading is for the weak. Why This Isn’t ‘The Most Important Election’ ~ Because they can’t ALL be, right? Cool or creepy? It kisses back ~ Depends on what … Continue reading →

Posted in Culture, Entertainment | Tagged alcohol abuse, Barack Obama, Baseball, breast implants, breastuses, Diabetes, dope, grass, headlines, hemp, Jewish people, Los Angeles Dodgers, marijuana, natural selection, obesity, Pauly Shore, PMS, pot, reefer, Secret Service, sweet sweet cheeba, weed, Wrigley Field | 14 Comments

Headlines 04.03.12

Posted on April 3, 2012 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula In which we get all the information we need from the headlines of the day: *** Anti-Putin protesters form a 10-mile human chain around Moscow ~ Anti-Putin protesters made into bizarre human chain in dungeons beneath Moscow. Poor reading … Continue reading →

Posted in Culture, News, Stupidity | Tagged Africa, boobs, botulism, Brazil, breastuses, bumper sticker mentality, child abandonment, Chuck E. Cheese, death by soccer, drugs, Gollum, headlines, Iwo Jima, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Marines, Mexico, old people, political bumper stickers, prostitution, Rick Santorum, Seattle, Soccer, Vladimir Putin, Washington, Why am I so stupid? | 16 Comments

Headlines 03.06.12

Posted on March 6, 2012 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula In which we opine upon the headlines of the day without first reading the articles. *** Megadeth’s Dave Mustaine backs Rick Santorum ~ See Kids? A bacchanalian life of drug-fueled debauchery is not without its consequences. Although the pernicious effects of addiction … Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrity, Cinema, Culture, Entertainment, Music, News, Politics, Stupidity | Tagged 1906 San Francisco Earthquake, boobs, breastuses, Celebrity Death Watch, date rape, Dave Mustaine, death by old age, divorce, Does Nature Want You Dead? Yes It Does., Drew Barrymore, drugs, dyslexia, Eddie Murphy, fat people, France, has-beens, headlines, heroin, hos, Lady Gaga, LiLo, Lindsay Lohan, little people, LSD, Lybia, lycergic acid diethylamide. LSD not LDS which is something very different, Megadeth, moobs, poor judgement, pop biology, prostitution, Rick Santorum, Shakira, short people, skanks, Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French, Smaktakula's distrust of short people, stalkers, Star Trek, sweet lady meg, the French, Trekkies, trippin' balls, TSA, Where Are They Now?, Why am I so fat?, Why am I so lonely?, Why am I so stupid?, women of easy virtue | 11 Comments

Return Of Not What You Were Looking For?

Posted on March 2, 2012 by tardsie

By Tardsie Not everyone who visits Promethean Times finds us on purpose. Here we respond to some of the bizarre, dangerous and downright foul search terms by which you found us. Enjoy! *** fags love straight men ~ It’s true, but … Continue reading →

Posted in Culture, Stupidity | Tagged abortion, Afghanistan, Barack Obama, Barry Bonds, Baseball, Bert & Ernie, Billy Carter, black sororities, breastuses, Camilla Parker Bowles, China, Courtney Love, degenerates, dope, douchebaggery, drugs, drunken Irishmen, Emmanuel Lewis, even Jesus thinks Fred Phelps sucks, fauxhawks, fellatrix, femullet, grass, hemp, Herb Tarlek, Hugh Hefner, Kim Jong-un, marijuana, Massengill disposable douche, mullets, North Korea, not what you were looking for?, Pedobear, pork, pot, Prince William, reefer, Robert Mugabe, rope, Russell Brand, seriously--hippies are odious, Stupid Gene, sweet sweet cheeba, Taliban, testicles, Tina Fey, Tina Fey not dead, tiny penis, urban legends, vagina, water sports, weed, Westboro Baptist Church, Yao Ming | 12 Comments

Headlines 01.20.12

Posted on January 20, 2012 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula In which we comment on contemporary headlines without first reading the articles: 25 members of Congress with lowest net worth ~ How much respect should we have for these mouth-breathers if they can’t even steal right? Putin faces off … Continue reading →

Posted in Crime, Culture, Entertainment, News, Politics, Religion | Tagged Axl Rose, bad teeth, Beyonce Knowles, Blue Ivy Carter, breasts, breastuses, California, Catholic Church, childish sexual innuendo, Chinese Democracy, Chris Paul, Clippers, congress, Costa Concordia, death by cruise ship, dope, drugs, God, grass, headlines, hemp, Hope, inbreeding, Japan, Jay-Z, marijuana, Muammar al-Gaddafi, Nakh-Nakh the Pig, pederasts, pot, Powerball, reefer, Rick Santorum, schadenfreude, sweet sweet cheeba, taint, Teen Mom, Vladimir Putin, weed | Leave a comment

Nancy Grace’s Exposed Nipple Continues To Horrify

Posted on November 8, 2011 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula The psychic trauma resulting from Nancy Grace’s Dancing With The Stars nipple-slip continues to reverberate across the globe. Grace’s errant ‘Horreola’ has instigated even more collateral damage than previously believed. As evidence, we point to the dozen or so … Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrity, Culture, Entertainment, News | Tagged Benny Hill, boobs, breasts, breastuses, Fall of Troy, FCC, honkers, knockers, Nancy Grace, nipple slip, overreaction, psychic trauma, sweater bunnies, sweater kittens, tits, Troy, you'd hit it if you were drunk enough | 5 Comments

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Tag Archives: breastuses

Headlines: When Pigs Float

Headlines: The Real Secret Of Our Success

Headlines: Great Big Boobs & A Phyllis Diller Smile

Ask Tardsie: So, Ya Like Rocket Ships?

Headlines 05.18.12

Headlines 04.03.12

Headlines 03.06.12

Return Of Not What You Were Looking For?

Headlines 01.20.12

Nancy Grace’s Exposed Nipple Continues To Horrify

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