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Tag Archives: California
Fresno: Looking Past All The Suck
By Smaktakula Fresno, California is a powerfully forgettable city. Squatting like an infected zit in the center of California’s San Joaquin Valley (itself labelled a ‘New Appalachia’ by The Economist), Fresno is an embarrassing relation to California’s first-class cities: Los Angeles, San … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Crime, Culture, Stupidity
Tagged Baseball, California, Central Valley, drugs, Enid, Fresno, If I forget thee T-Town, impoverished first-world hellhole, Los Angeles, methamphetamine, New Appalachia, Oklahoma, places that suck, San Diego, San Francisco, San Joaquin Valley, San Jose, Smaktakula's hatred of the San Francisco Giants, Tacoma, Washington, Why am I so stupid?
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Headlines 01.20.12
By Smaktakula In which we comment on contemporary headlines without first reading the articles: 25 members of Congress with lowest net worth ~ How much respect should we have for these mouth-breathers if they can’t even steal right? Putin faces off … Continue reading
Posted in Crime, Culture, Entertainment, News, Politics, Religion
Tagged Axl Rose, bad teeth, Beyonce Knowles, Blue Ivy Carter, breasts, breastuses, California, Catholic Church, childish sexual innuendo, Chinese Democracy, Chris Paul, Clippers, congress, Costa Concordia, death by cruise ship, dope, drugs, God, grass, headlines, hemp, Hope, inbreeding, Japan, Jay-Z, marijuana, Muammar al-Gaddafi, Nakh-Nakh the Pig, pederasts, pot, Powerball, reefer, Rick Santorum, schadenfreude, sweet sweet cheeba, taint, Teen Mom, Vladimir Putin, weed
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The American Presidential Primary: Giving Shitty States A Voice
By Smaktakula With a combined total of 11 (out of a nationwide total of 538) electoral votes, unimportant American States like Iowa and New Hampshire wouldn’t normally have very much say in who wins the US presidency. That would be … Continue reading
Posted in Culture, History, Politics, Stupidity
Tagged California, electoral votes, Iowa, New Hampshire, New York, places that suck, presidential primary, United States of America
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‘Lil Kim Adjusting To New Life In Witness Relocation Program
By Smaktakula Kim Jong-il, the once-feared despot of blighted hellhole North Korea, is said to be transitioning easily into his new life as a Compton, California liquor store owner. Although the blue-collar life might seem like a comedown from the … Continue reading
Katching Up WIth K-Fed
By Smaktakula As it turns out, not much is going on. * Fresnan: noun 1) a person from Fresno, California; 2) rascal, lout or douchebag. ∞T.
New Evidence Reveals OJ Simpson’s Innocence In 1994 Double-Homicide
By Smaktakula Los Angeles, California: New evidence released this week by the LA County Prosecutor’s office purports to show that presumed murderer Orenthal James Simpson is innocent of the allegations which have long clouded his name. A patsy in a … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Crime, History, News
Tagged California, death by OJ, dingoes ate my baby!, Hertz, Johnnie Cochran, Juice, Los Angeles, Lovelock Correctional Center, Nevada, Nicole Brown Simpson, OJ Simpson, Orenthal James Simpson, patsies, Ron Goldman, the Juice is loose!, unpunished
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Gayness Audit Results In Downgrade For SF
By Smaktakula Who’s taken all the gay from the Bay? The question has haunted the fog-shrouded streets of San Francisco since last January’s gay audit, in which the flamboyant city suffered a humiliating downgrade. In a nationwide survey, gay-themed magazine, … Continue reading
Posted in Culture, News, Politics
Tagged California, childish sexual innuendo, even Jesus thinks Fred Phelps sucks, fisting, Frisco, fun with stereotypes, gay meccas, gay people, gay rankings, homosexuality, leather daddies, Minneapolis, Oakland, Pittsburgh, San Francisco, San Francisco Giants, Smaktakula's hatred of the San Francisco Giants, St. Louis, the Advocate, they love to hear it called Frisco
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This Day In History: July 18th, 1955 CE
On which the Devil manifests as a rodent and brings his unholy kingdom to earth. As hard as it is to believe, Orange County once had a soul. ∞T.
Sacramento, California
By Smaktakula Proving that you don’t have to be a great city to anchor the nation’s most important state, Sacramento manages to remain relevant despite an almost total lack of merit. California’s capital city squats like a persistent sore … Continue reading
Posted in Culture, History
Tagged apology, California, Eucharist, places that suck, SAC, Sacramento, Sacramento Kings
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