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Tag Archives: Canada
The Mexican-American Conflict: A Pretty Good War
By Smaktakula You’ve probably heard more than once that there’s no such thing as a ‘good’ war. The sentiment driving this notion is noble, and easy enough to understand: it’s hard to take any joy from a victory when even … Continue reading
Posted in History
Tagged Arizona, California, Canada, Colorado, further instances of Canadian perfidy, Great Britain, James Knox Polk, Let us help!, manifest destiny, Mexico, muchas gracias, Nevada, one-termer by choice, one-termers, outright lies, Saddam Hussein, Saddam totally did it, Santa Anna, Somalia, Texas, there's a NEW Mexico?, treachery, United Kingdom, United States of America, Utah
9 Comments
PT Apologizes To Those Groups We Have Yet To Malign
By Smaktakula We’re proud of our track record. In a relatively short time, we’ve managed to say some pretty shitty things about a lot of people. From the Inuits in the north, to the Chinese in the east, the Zimbabweans … Continue reading
Posted in Culture
Tagged American Civil War, Amish, beekeepers, Blame Canada!, Canada, China, Christians, Ecuador, Greeks, historical reenactors, ignorance--it's what we do, Inuits, Jews, muslims, paraphilic infantilism, Ramtha, Ron Paul, Swedes, television, United States of America, your mom, Zimbabwe
10 Comments
It’s Groundhog Day!
By Smaktakula On which, not unlike our superstitious, cave-dwelling, moon-worshipping ancestors, we seek guidance on the mysteries of nature from a hyperthyroid rat named Punxsutawney Phil. Legend has it that if Phil sees his own shadow on February 2, you’ll … Continue reading
Dakota Contraction Finalized
By Smaktakula Pierre, Dakota: Monday at 3:15 PM CST Governors Jack Dalrymple and Dennis Daugaard of the former states of North and South Dakota respectively, will flip a coin to see who will be governor of the new state of Dakota. The … Continue reading
Posted in Culture, History, News, Politics
Tagged 1889, Baby Alaska, Canada, contraction, Dakota, Dakotans, Dennis Daugaard, District of Columbia, Fargo, hicks, Iowa, Jack Dalrymple, Minot, North Dakota, Pierre, places that suck, Puerto Rico, Rapid City, South Dakota, United States of America, yokels
3 Comments
Seattle: Coffee Poseur
By Smaktakula No American city is more closely associated with coffee and coffee culture than is snobbish Seattle, Washington. From the Emerald City’s brief turn as America’s self-obsessed ‘It City’ in the 1990s, certain aspects of the Seattle phenomenon persist … Continue reading
Posted in Culture
Tagged advertising, Canada, Christianity, coffee, coffee culture, Columbia, culture, Guatemala, It City, Ivory Coast, King County, Lewis County, Mexico, Pierce County, places that suck, poseur, Seattle, Seattle's Best Coffee, Smaktakula's vendetta against Lewis County, Snohomish County, Starbucks, T-Town Forever, Thurston County, Uganda, United States of America, urine, Vietnam, Washington, you suck so bad Lewis County so so bad
4 Comments
London Bridge Is Burning Down
By Smaktakula Lacking an NHL or NBA Championship, kids in the UK aren’t afforded regular rioting opportunities like their American and Canadian counterparts. In many parts of London, the window panes of Starbucks and T-Mobile outlets last for years, often … Continue reading
Posted in Crime, Culture, News, Politics
Tagged 2011, Adolf Hitler, Battle of Britain, Brixton, Canada, don't hate us because we're ignorant, Islington, London, London riots, London's Burning, Mark Duggan, NBA, NHL, places that suck, the Blitz, the Clash, Tottenham, UK, United Kingdom, United States of America, WWII
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After Osama
By Smaktakula The non-turbanned, loosely-wound portion of the world’s population was delighted to hear that inveterate nastyman Osama bin Laden was shot down like a dog, or like anything else that gets shot, really. For some this joy manifested itself … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Culture, News
Tagged Canada, cock-knockers, Dalai Lama, DMV, Donald Trump, douchebaggery, Eddie Murphy, Emilio Estevez, Glenn Beck, Kobe Bryant, Lolcats, Mission Accomplished, Nancy Grace, Osama bin Laden, Prince Harry, Ringo Starr, Snarf, US Penis size as a cause of insecurity
5 Comments
America Fails To Measure Up
By Smaktakula The penis rankings are in, and the nations of the West have come up short. The United States’ result is particularly embarrassing. Although managing to avoid the lowest quadrant–populated by such sad-sack microdicks as China, India and Burma–the … Continue reading
