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Tag Archives: Celebrity Death Watch
Diff’rent Strokes Curse Remains With Work Undone
By Smaktakula Diff’rent Strokes proved an instant hit with TV audiences in September of 1978. The Norman Lear sitcom about Harlem orphans falling into the lap of luxury was anchored by veteran stage actor Conrad Bain, and featured promising child … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Culture
Tagged a very special episode, A-Team, America's inability to say NO, Arnold Jackson, Bad Terminator, boob job, breast implants, bulimia, Celebrity Death Watch, cooze, Cultural Folk Hero, Dana Plato, Diff'rent Strokes, Diff'rent Strokes Curse, drugs, Emmanuel is the Antigary, Emmanuel Lewis, famous catchphrases, famous short people, famous virgins, Gary Coleman, Harlem, Hello Larry!, Johnnie Cochran, jumping the shark, Just Say No!, Kimberly Drummond, Knight Rider, lesbians, Moore, Mr. T, Nancy Reagan, New York, Norman Lear, obscure celebrities, Oklahoma, Playboy, porno movies, redemption, Shannon Price, small black actor, soft-core, spank mags, Tötyl Hömö, Tötyl Hömö may just be the best band name ever, Terminator 2, The Facts of Life, Todd Bridges, unremitting virginity, Vanilla Ice, Where Are They Now?, Willis Jackson
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Who Is Killing Off The Former Stars Of ‘Full House?’
By Smaktakula No one yet. You need a job?
Singer Whitney Houston Dies
By Smaktakula Whitney Houston is dead at 48 a representative of the beloved singer announced today. Although cause of death has yet to be determined, even an encephalitic gibbon knows that drugs were the most likely culprit. After a series of chart-busting … Continue reading
Sweathogs Begin To Die Off
By Smaktakula Metuchen, NJ: Actor Robert Hegyes died in his home Thursday after apparently suffering a heart attack. The Welcome Back, Kotter star was sixty years old. Hegyes rose to fame in the 1970s playing Juan Epstein, a wiseacre Puerto Rican-Jewish street … Continue reading
Bon Jovi Scare Raises Question: Who From Jersey NEEDS To Die?
By Smaktakula Residents of the Garden State are resting a little easier with the knowledge that beloved New Jersey music icon Jon Bon Jovi is not dead, as was earlier reported. The erroneous reports of the singer’s death were greeted … Continue reading
Posted in Culture
Tagged Asbury Park, Bayonne, Bruce Springsteen, Camden, Celebrity Death Watch, false predictions, famous for nothing, Garden State, Jason Alexander, Joe Pesci, Joe Piscopo, Jon Bon Jovi, New Jersey, places that suck, Richie Sambora, Smaktakula's distrust of short people, Snooki, unlike your 15 minutes of fame herpes lasts forever, Woodrow Wilson
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LiLo’s Got The Meth Mouth
By Smaktakula True? False? That’s what the gossip sites are reporting, anyway. More accurately, they’re claiming that the self-destructing former starlet and Flower of American Skankhood has a mouth full of rotting teeth, from which Promethean Times irresponsibly infers that … Continue reading
Steve Jobs’ Obsolescence Comes Earlier Than Expected
By Smaktakula Around the world, the gnashing of teeth and tearing of clothes has greeted the sad news of Steve Jobs’ untimely death at fifty-six. However, like Christ, the deity to Whom the Silicon Valley innovator is most often compared, Jobs leaves … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Culture, News, Religion
Tagged Apple, Bill Gates, Celebrity Death Watch, Christ figures, David Sedaris, death by pancreatic cancer, Mac people, Microsoft, Redmond, Silicon Valley, Steve Jobs
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Cliff Robertson Is Dead
By Smaktakula Cliff Robertson, who played Peter Parker’s Uncle Ben in the film Spider-Man, is dead at 88. This comes as something of a surprise to the millions of people who were heretofore unaware of the veteran actor’s existence, as … Continue reading
