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Tag Archives: Charlie Sheen
Charlie Sheen To Get Roasted
By Smaktakula No, Roasted. We thought it said Toasted at first, too. Degenerate punchline Charlie Sheen has been tapped for an upcoming Comedy Central Celebrity Roast. Comedy Central’s search for an ‘honoree’ willing to subject him or herself to the always-brutal-but-increasingly-unfunny … Continue reading
Stupid Show Now Even More Stupider
By Smaktakula Across the nation, morons who love bad TV are screeching with joy and hurling their own feces at one another upon the news that Two and a Half Men will be returning to television. Fans of vapid entertainment … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Culture, News, Stupidity
Tagged Ashton Kutcher, Charlie Sheen, Charlie Sheen is a drugged-out wifebeater, Demi Moore, geriatric sex, May-December romances, prettyboys, Punk'd, shitty TV shows, stupid people, That 70s Show, TV for idiots, TV makes you stupid, Two and a Half Men, untalented stars, Why am I so stupid?
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Charlie Sheen Downgraded From ‘Douchebag’ Status In Light Of Illness
By Smaktakula After lengthy consultations with prominent physicians, lawyers and spiritual advisors, Promethean Times has agreed to conditionally rescind Charlie Sheen’s douchebag status. The doomed former television personality’s obvious mental illness likely indicates a complete lack of control over his … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Culture, Music, Stupidity
Tagged batshit crazy, Charlie Sheen, Charlie Sheen is a drugged-out wifebeater, Charlie Sheen is batshit crazy, Charlie Sheen Will Never Escape The Brat Pack's Terrible Event Horizon, Chicago, death by Special Fred, Detroit, douchebaggery, dweebs, geeks, Illinois, LARPers, mental illness, mental illness is not funny, Michigan, My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Death is Not an Option, nerds, Special Fred, Special Olympics, the Warlock, trainwrecks, winning
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Charlie Sheen Surrenders Custody Of Kids
By Smaktakula More bad news for cretinous serial impregnator and former television personality Charlie Sheen: Last night the authorities arrived at Sheen’s Beverly Hills residence to remove the actor’s twin sons from his custody. Although very little is known at … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, News
Tagged bad parents, Charlie Sheen, Charlie Sheen is a drugged-out wifebeater, Charlie Sheen Will Never Escape The Brat Pack's Terrible Event Horizon, child endangerment, custody battle, inebriate, infants, serial impregnator, Twins, Won't somebody please think of the children?
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Charlie Got No Teefuses!
By Smaktakula Cretinous 24-Hour party person Charlie Sheen has managed to keep his winning smile throughout his myriad legal and personal woes. However, like so much else in Hollywood, it turns out that Sheen’s pearly whites are fakes, his toothy … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Culture, News
Tagged bad teeth, Celebrity Death Watch, Charlie Sheen, Charlie Sheen is a drugged-out wifebeater, Charlie Sheen Will Never Escape The Brat Pack's Terrible Event Horizon, delirium tremens, dentures, drugs, DTs, fellatio, gold digger, Kacey Jordan, Neil Armstrong, Polident, poor dental hygiene, porn stars, prostitution, Shane MacGowan, skanks, skonks, so sad, teefuses, wretched, you got a real purty mouth
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Sheen’s Latest Rampage Results In Institutionalization
By Smaktakula Charlie Sheen’s tenuous hold on sanity took another hit recently after a bizarre hotel incident found the notorious wife-beater institutionalized and forced to undergo a psychological evaluation. Until this incident, Sheen’s most recent confinement had been an August … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Crime, News
Tagged anger issues, Charlie Sheen, Charlie Sheen is a drugged-out wifebeater, Charlie Sheen Will Never Escape The Brat Pack's Terrible Event Horizon, Charlie's 'O' face, cocaine, domestic abuse, domestic violence, drugs, hysterical screaming, overpaid performers, porn stars, psychological evaluation, substance abuse, untalented stars
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Did I Do That?: When Urkels Attack
By Smaktakula In a classy move right out of the Sheen Playbook, Trivial Pursuit answer Jaleel ‘Urkel’ White is accused of beating the mother of his child. Bridget Hardy, white’s ex-girlfriend, alleges that the former child star punched her in one … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Crime, News
Tagged "Did I do that?", anger management, breast implants, Bridget Hardy, broken toilets, Charlie Sheen, domestic violence, dorks, douchebaggery, Family Matters, former child stars, geeks, has-been, infidelity, Jaleel White, Jerkel, nerds, spazzes, spousal abuse, Trivial Pursuit, untalented stars, Urkel, weirdos, Where Are They Now?
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Colorado No Longer Among The Minority Of States Where Charlie Sheen Has No Criminal Record
By Smaktakula Cretinous tabloid headline Charlie Sheen is heading back to rehab at the court’s insistence. Sheen is to spend thirty days at a rehabilitation facility, followed by thirty days of probation. This makes it a full sixty days before he can go … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Cinema, Crime, Culture, News
Tagged addiction, alcohol, Carlos Irwin Estevez, Charlie Sheen, Charlie Sheen is a drugged-out wifebeater, Charlie Sheen Will Never Escape The Brat Pack's Terrible Event Horizon, Colorado, domestic violence, douchebaggery, drug addiction, drugs, jackassery, laugh track, Look Who's Talking?, Max Headroom, Pauly Shore, rehab, substance abuse, tabloid headline, Three Men and a Baby, untalented stars, White Power
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