Think you might be an asshole, but want to know for sure? Let’s find out!
Respond to the following statement with I AGREE or I DISAGREE:
When driving my car in the left lane of a freeway, I believe that the drivers in the line of cars to my rear are happy to travel at the same speed as me.
If you answered I AGREE, then you are an asshole! Congratulations, we guess.
Sadly, those who answered I DISAGREE aren’t necessarily off the hook. There are many, many ways to be an asshole, and this is but one of them.
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Promethean Times has long been regarded as the last of the truth-tellers, a lonely voice in the wilderness trumpeting to all who will hear it the nefarious doings of the Cannabis Mafia, as well as its dangerous and irresponsible dream of universal stonerdom.
Shockingly, new data indicate that these media-savvy burnouts have advanced their shadowy agenda further than even the most strident critics had believed possible.
Sleeper operatives within the LA Daily organization have planted a news story designed take the edge off America’s very-justified fears about doobie-digging drivers. This story, which relies upon a supposed “study” indicating that marijuana has a far-less pronounced effect on driving ability than previously believed, may lead America’s children into believing that stoned driving is “groovy.”
Promethean Times would like to remind you that driving under the influence of the demon weed is not a “gasser,” “hoot” or “trip;” it is illegal.
Unless your doctor has given you one of these for your car . . .
. . . Holding up traffic for no reason other than to ensure that Dress Barn remains within waddling distance makes you an asshole.
Try parking in one of the dozens of empty spots by to Tire King. Other drivers will appreciate your courtesy, regarding it as evidence you’ve renounced your former life of cretinous fuckery.
Also: Please review Tip #1. You’re not doing it right.
Tip 1: If cars are passing you on the right*, it’s high time you stop being such a jackass and move the fuck over. Thanks.