Tag Archives: Florida

Headlines: Get On Your Knees And Fight Like A Man

By Smaktakula You can read the articles if you want. We didn’t. We’re just talking about the headlines. *** 11 Social Security Mistakes People Make ~ The biggest one is assuming it will meet your post-retirement financial needs. That’s not a joke. … Continue reading

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Posted in Celebrity, Crime, Culture, Entertainment, Headlines, History, News, Philosophy, Politics, Religion, Stupidity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

Tardsie’s True-Ass Tales: My Racist Cat And The White Guilt She Inspired

By Tardsie When I was a boy, my family adopted a black cat during the Halloween Season.¹ I named her Spook. Although  a word meaning ghost or spirit, spook, if you don’t know (and my wife didn’t until I told … Continue reading

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Headlines 06.20.12

By Smaktakula In which we comment on today’s headlines, without reading the articles. If you’re like us, you instinctively distrust those pedantic know-it-alls who doggedly insist upon keeping abreast with the affairs of the day. Friends, reading weakens the legs. … Continue reading

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Stupid People: Way More Fun Than TV

By Smaktakula Today, almost anyone can get himself arrested.  It doesn’t take style, flair or even imagination–with 1% of the US population behind bars, it’s easy to see that getting busted in America is pretty routine.  It’s not surprising then, … Continue reading

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This Day In Alternate History: Casey Anthony Killed In Prison

By Smaktakula Lowell Correctional Institute, Florida: The news of Casey Anthony’s death has been met with worldwide jubilation.  This morning, guards found the 25-year-old murderess lying unconscious in the showers, face down in a rapidly spreading pool of her own … Continue reading

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Burt Reynolds Prepares For Recurring Role As Filthy Homeless Person

By Smaktakula Mustachioed 70s fixture Burt Reynolds claims to be surprised to find that his Florida mansion is in foreclosure,  despite not having made a mortgage payment since September of last year.  Times are lean for the toupee-abusing former icon of … Continue reading

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Headlines 08.17.11

By Smaktakula User post: Am I just not meant to have friends? ~ Sorry, sad-sack–but yours is a destiny characterized by unremitting isolation.  It probably feels better to know, huh? Can Twitter Save NASA? ~ Don’t be a child; of course it … Continue reading

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The Lord Not Quite Ready To Forgive Germany

By Smaktakula Back in the early 1990s, it seemed like German tourists in America couldn’t catch a break.  It’s hard to forget the spate of Miami slayings that had America’s German community on edge, and which prompted this publication to … Continue reading

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Drive Safely When There’s Coke In The Trunk, Kids

By Smaktakula On June 10th, 2011, a perfect storm of stupidity caught luckless moron Shawn Smith in its pitiless grasp. Smith’s troubles began when his car nearly collided with a police car, leading to a traffic stop.  The cataclysmically-retarded Floridian … Continue reading

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Not Just Evil–Stupid, Too!

By Smaktakula Bottom-feeding lowlifes Barbara Lee and Marco Ibanez have been arrested after assaulting two men in a Florida nightclub.  Along with a third individual who is a minor and has not been named, the pair proved not only their … Continue reading

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