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Tag Archives: Florida
Tardsie’s True-Ass Tales: My Racist Cat And The White Guilt She Inspired
By Tardsie When I was a boy, my family adopted a black cat during the Halloween Season.¹ I named her Spook. Although a word meaning ghost or spirit, spook, if you don’t know (and my wife didn’t until I told … Continue reading
Headlines 06.20.12
By Smaktakula In which we comment on today’s headlines, without reading the articles. If you’re like us, you instinctively distrust those pedantic know-it-alls who doggedly insist upon keeping abreast with the affairs of the day. Friends, reading weakens the legs. … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Entertainment, Music, News, Politics
Tagged Afghanistan, bizarre sex acts, Catholic sex abuse scandal, Catholicism, childish sexual innuendo, drugs, Egypt, English, fat people, Florida, Flowbee, gay people, headlines, Honduras, Jon Gosselin, LSD, Miley Cyrus, military coup, places that suck, prison, Rapture, Thailand, toddlers & tiaras, untalented stars, Why am I so fat?, zombies
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This Day In Alternate History: Casey Anthony Killed In Prison
By Smaktakula Lowell Correctional Institute, Florida: The news of Casey Anthony’s death has been met with worldwide jubilation. This morning, guards found the 25-year-old murderess lying unconscious in the showers, face down in a rapidly spreading pool of her own … Continue reading
Burt Reynolds Prepares For Recurring Role As Filthy Homeless Person
By Smaktakula Mustachioed 70s fixture Burt Reynolds claims to be surprised to find that his Florida mansion is in foreclosure, despite not having made a mortgage payment since September of last year. Times are lean for the toupee-abusing former icon of … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Cinema, News
Tagged 70's era machismo, bad toupee, Bennigan's, Bill Clinton, Burt Reynolds, Dom DeLuise, Florida, gold digger, hard times, has-beens, Liza Minelli, machismo, Me Generation, moochers, mortgage, mustache rides, the reek of the homeless, tiresome anachronism, Where Are They Now?
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Headlines 08.17.11
By Smaktakula User post: Am I just not meant to have friends? ~ Sorry, sad-sack–but yours is a destiny characterized by unremitting isolation. It probably feels better to know, huh? Can Twitter Save NASA? ~ Don’t be a child; of course it … Continue reading
Posted in Culture
Tagged abortion, Antichrist, binge drinking, Catholic Church, childish sexual innuendo, closeted celebrities, Delhi, Florida, gay people, Greece, headlines, India, Janet Reno, Justin Bieber, lesbians, Lesbos, Lottery tickets, marriage, Michelle Bachmann, NASA, Pope Benedict XVI, prostitution, Queen Latifah, San Francisco, smelly hair syndrome, the Greatest Generation, Tiny Tim, Twitter, ukeleles, Usher
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The Lord Not Quite Ready To Forgive Germany
By Smaktakula Back in the early 1990s, it seemed like German tourists in America couldn’t catch a break. It’s hard to forget the spate of Miami slayings that had America’s German community on edge, and which prompted this publication to … Continue reading
Posted in Culture, History, News
Tagged 1972, anti-Kraut, anti-semitism, Belgium, dead German tourists, Final Solution, Florida, for reals we love the Germans, Germany, Germany's dark history, God, God hates the Germans, Holocaust, Jews, Krauts, Miami, Munich Olympics, the Almighty, United States of America
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Drive Safely When There’s Coke In The Trunk, Kids
By Smaktakula On June 10th, 2011, a perfect storm of stupidity caught luckless moron Shawn Smith in its pitiless grasp. Smith’s troubles began when his car nearly collided with a police car, leading to a traffic stop. The cataclysmically-retarded Floridian … Continue reading
Posted in News, Stupidity
Tagged bad decisions, chicken, cocaine, coke, drugs, Florida, guns, idiots, multitasking, perfect storm of stupidity, police car, poor judgement, Shawn Smith, Why am I so stupid?
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