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Tag Archives: former child stars
Emmanuel Lewis: The Antigary
By Smaktakula Diminutive former child stars Emmanuel Lewis and Gary Coleman are often mentioned in the same sentence. At first glance, the similarities seem obvious: both were stunted African-American Eighties sitcom stars prized for their cuteness. And when their respective … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity
Tagged adorable, African-Americans, Antigary, baby bunnies, Brooke Shields, Clark Atlanta University, death by gun, death by hooker, Diff'rent Strokes, diminutive skonks, Emmanuel is the Antigary, Emmanuel Lewis, evil alternate universe, famous short people, former child stars, Gary Coleman, karate, King of Pop, Lolcats, man-whores, Michael Jackson, shitty TV shows, short people, skonks, small black actor, The Biggest 40 Inches in Hollywood, TV, Utah, Webster, Whatchootalkinboutwillis?
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Who Is Killing Off The Former Stars Of ‘Full House?’
By Smaktakula No one yet. You need a job?
The Eternal Pervert
By Smaktakula The line between healthy skepticism and credulity is razor-thin. Sorry, kids–Michael Jackson is dead. Jim Morrison? Dead. Kurt Cobain? Dead. Lindsay Lohan? Tick . . . Tick . . . Tick . . . You’ll notice we … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Crime, Culture, Stupidity
Tagged Celebrity Death Watch, credulity, dead celebrities, Elvis > Michael Jackson, Elvis Aaron Presley, former child stars, future drug overdose, Jim Morrison, King of Pop, Kurt Cobain, LiLo, Lindsay Lohan, Michael Jackson, pederasts, pervertry, perverts, skepticism
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Lohan: The Time To Hit That Is Now
By Smaktakula Former child star Lindsay Lohan revealed recently in an international statement that she was not currently in a relationship, declaring “I’m available.” Men and women between the ages of 16-65 who have yet to engage in casual, anonymous … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Culture, News
Tagged celebrities, Celebrity Death Watch, cocaine, Did she jump or was she pushed?, drugs, Flower of American Skankhood, former child stars, IPO, LiLo, Lindsay Lohan, Lindsay's boobs, NSFW, Schnapps, skankery, skanks, tick . . .tick . . .tick, untalented stars
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Malcolm In The Middle Of A Domestic Dispute
By Smaktakula Frankie Muniz, best known for playing the titular characters in Malcolm in the Middle and Agent Cody Banks, is many things: actor, race car driver, rocker. Sadly, it appears that “mentally stable person” is not among the Renaissance man’s retinue … Continue reading
Haimster And Coleman’s Academy Awards Snub
By Smaktakula Hollywood was cruel to young actors Gary Coleman and Corey Haim, using and discarding them like snotty tissue. That both men died long before their time is a testament to this contemptuous neglect. But where many marginally talented … Continue reading
LiLo Blowing Chance To Portray Infamous Cinematic Fellatrix
By Smaktakula Lindsay Lohan’s escapades have led to a warrant for her arrest, and cast doubt upon the fate of the former child star’s latest comeback vehicle, Inferno. The warrant comes as a response to the Flower of American Skankhood’s most … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Cinema, Crime, Stupidity
Tagged arrests, BJs, blow jobs, celebrity skin, childish sexual innuendo, Chris Hanley, cocaine, Deep Throat, Dimeatapp, drugs, Emil Haagerdäddi, fellatio, fellatrix, Fifteen Minutes of Fame, Flower of American Skankhood, former child stars, Inferno, LEAVE LINDSAY ALONE!!!, LiLo, LiLophiles, Linda Lovelace, Lindsay Lohan, methamphetamine, porno movies, pornography, pr0n, rehab, sausage smuggling, skanks, slobbin' the knob, the coke favored by Clan Lohan is neither a coal by-product nor a cola, untalented stars, Where Are They Now?, you got a real purty mouth
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NKOTB Not Only Still Alive, But Cruising
By Smaktakula Two decades ago America’s arenas were jammed with pubescent girls screaming for the manufactured teenybop that only New Kids on the Block could offer. The screaming has long since died away, and many of those young fans now have … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Music
Tagged Danny Wood, Donnie Wahlberg, former child stars, Generation MILF, hairless hit factory, Joey McIntyre, Jonathan Knight, Jordan Knight, Justin Bieber, New Kids Forever! Still Hangin' Tough Baby!, New Kids on the Block, NKOTB, nostalgia acts, stars of yesteryear, stupid shit little girls like, Where Are They Now?
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Did I Do That?: When Urkels Attack
By Smaktakula In a classy move right out of the Sheen Playbook, Trivial Pursuit answer Jaleel ‘Urkel’ White is accused of beating the mother of his child. Bridget Hardy, white’s ex-girlfriend, alleges that the former child star punched her in one … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Crime, News
Tagged "Did I do that?", anger management, breast implants, Bridget Hardy, broken toilets, Charlie Sheen, domestic violence, dorks, douchebaggery, Family Matters, former child stars, geeks, has-been, infidelity, Jaleel White, Jerkel, nerds, spazzes, spousal abuse, Trivial Pursuit, untalented stars, Urkel, weirdos, Where Are They Now?
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Another Shining Light Extinguished Too Soon
Gary Coleman is dead at 42. Too soon after Corey, man. Too soon. Thisiswhatimtalkingboutwillis: Diff’rent Strokes Star Gary Coleman Dies at 42 : People.com.
Posted in Celebrity, News
Tagged Arnold Jackson, Celebrity Death Watch, celebrity deaths, child stars, Corey Haim, Diff'rent Strokes, Diff'rent Strokes Curse, Dudley Is Next, famous short people, famous virgins, former child stars, Gary Coleman, Haimster, head injury, kidney problems, small black actor, Whatchootalkinboutwillis?
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