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Tag Archives: gold digger
Singer Whitney Houston Dies
By Smaktakula Whitney Houston is dead at 48 a representative of the beloved singer announced today. Although cause of death has yet to be determined, even an encephalitic gibbon knows that drugs were the most likely culprit. After a series of chart-busting … Continue reading
Raping Justin Bieber
By Smaktakula I can prove to you that rape is funny. Picture Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd. George Carlin By her own admission, Mariah Yeater is a predator. She has repeatedly boasted to anyone who will listen about the events of … Continue reading
Burt Reynolds Prepares For Recurring Role As Filthy Homeless Person
By Smaktakula Mustachioed 70s fixture Burt Reynolds claims to be surprised to find that his Florida mansion is in foreclosure, despite not having made a mortgage payment since September of last year. Times are lean for the toupee-abusing former icon of … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Cinema, News
Tagged 70's era machismo, bad toupee, Bennigan's, Bill Clinton, Burt Reynolds, Dom DeLuise, Florida, gold digger, hard times, has-beens, Liza Minelli, machismo, Me Generation, moochers, mortgage, mustache rides, the reek of the homeless, tiresome anachronism, Where Are They Now?
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Hugh Hefner: Why Is Grandpa Crying?
By Smaktakula Cartoonish anachronism Hugh Hefner is no doubt devastated after being left at the altar. His former fiance, the twenty-five-year-old strumpet Crystal Harris, seems to have come to her senses at the last minute, announcing Tuesday that she would … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Culture, News, Stupidity
Tagged creepy old perverts, Crystal Harris, D-Listers, Dracula, elder abuse, floozies, gold digger, Greta Van Susteren, Hugh Hefner, human souls, jilted, left at the alter, May-December romances, old people, Pandora's Box, Playboy, Playboy Mansion, porn empire, pornography, Ryan Reynolds, strumpets, that old person smell, that trick never works, the best laid plans of mice and men, Viagra
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Hef’s Former Skank Calls Him “Dead Fish”
By Smaktakula According to his former floozy Izabella St. James, Hugh Hefner doesn’t just look, smell and act like an incontinent old man–he makes love like one as well. In her cleverly titled new book, Bunny Tales, St. James claims … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Culture
Tagged Burt Bacharach, Cher, cocaine, decadence, drugs, fading glory, gold digger, Hef, Hugh Hefner, Izabella St. James, living in squalor, old people, Playboy, porn empire, pornography, senility, sexual dysfunction, skanks, Sylvia Miles, Viagra
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One-Legged Hag Refuses To Let Senility Destroy Her Dreams Of Second-Time Motherhood
By Smaktakula Creepy gold-digger Frédèric Prinz von Anhalt announced recently that his wife, superannuated entertainment oddity Zsa Zsa Gabor, would like to have another child at 94. Anhalt has reportedly spent $100,000 for the procedure. Gabor, most famous for slapping … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Cinema, News, Stupidity
Tagged adult adoption, California politics, creepy, famous for nothing, famous Hungarians, Frédèric Prinz von Anhalt, gold digger, hot long ago, in-vitro fertilization, Kaiser Wilhelm II, old people, perverted science, pregnancy, sperm donor, that trick never works, untalented stars, Zsa Zsa Gabor
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Michael Lohan: Bad Father, Even Badder Boyfriend
By Smaktakula It’s hard to find many people who pity slimy CelebriMom Dina Lohan, but Kate Major can now count herself among that select few. Until just a few days ago, Major shared a bed with Lohan’s troubled ex-husband, the … Continue reading
Black Widow Living In Well-Deserved Squalor
By Smaktakula Fans of Schadenfreude were thrilled by the news that Shannon Price, best known for her half-marriage with half-man Gary Coleman, is living like a filthy animal. In Utah! It seems that the unrepentant black widow still resides in … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, News
Tagged Black Widow, cooze, Emmanuel Lewis, Gary Coleman, Gary Coleman's widow, gold digger, living in squalor, Lynndie England, meal ticket, places that suck, Sao Paulo, schadenfreude, Shannon Price, small black actor, tabloids, The Globe, treachery, Utah, Yoko Ono
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Charlie Got No Teefuses!
By Smaktakula Cretinous 24-Hour party person Charlie Sheen has managed to keep his winning smile throughout his myriad legal and personal woes. However, like so much else in Hollywood, it turns out that Sheen’s pearly whites are fakes, his toothy … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Culture, News
Tagged bad teeth, Celebrity Death Watch, Charlie Sheen, Charlie Sheen is a drugged-out wifebeater, Charlie Sheen Will Never Escape The Brat Pack's Terrible Event Horizon, delirium tremens, dentures, drugs, DTs, fellatio, gold digger, Kacey Jordan, Neil Armstrong, Polident, poor dental hygiene, porn stars, prostitution, Shane MacGowan, skanks, skonks, so sad, teefuses, wretched, you got a real purty mouth
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