Tag Archives: Haiti

Back In Baby’s Arms

Posted on January 19, 2011 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula Fans of third-world despotism are aglow at the ominous tidings of Jean-Claude Duvalier’s return to Haiti after twenty-five years in well-deserved exile. Duvalier, better known as “Baby Doc,” came to power in 1971 upon the death of his … Continue reading →

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Posted in Crime, News, Politics | Tagged apologies to Patsy Cline, Barack Obama, Brother Voodoo, cliche, dictators, Duvalier dynasty, Francois "Papa Doc" Duvalier, Haiti, Haitian Crisis, hereditary dictatorship, impoverished third-world backwater, Is that not what 'paradox' means?, Jean-Claude "Baby Doc" Duvalier, Jobu, Major League, medically-themed despots, Pedro Cerrano, Rene Preval, Veronique Roy, voodoo despotism | 2 Comments

Free Tibet! (Or Did That Already Happen?)

Posted on January 6, 2011 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula It’s a challenge to drive any distance these days without seeing the ubiquitous political bumper sticker, in which complex and deeply-nuanced issues are boiled down to a sloganized reduction so bereft of substance that it makes the average … Continue reading →

Posted in Culture, History | Tagged abortion, adhesive decal, Americans' woeful lack of a global perspective, Asia, ass-talking, Barack Obama, bumper sticker mentality, China, Dalai Lama, Did we ever fix the Rain Forest?, Free Tibet flags, Free Tibet!, Free World, freeway pundits, Fugeeman, Haiti, Haitians don't play baseball, irony, irony sense, Ivory Coast, jackassery, John Edwards, John Kerry, KERRY/EDWARDS 2004, Macedonia, mythical creatures, mythical lands, Native Americans, Norway, OBAMA IS A SOCIALIST!, people who want to sound smart but aren't, PISS, political bumper stickers, Political Intelligence Standards Survey, political philosophy, political slogans, post-Soviet, Promethean Times, Smaktakula's ability to shamelessly talk out of his ass, SMILE YOU WEREN'T ABORTED, South America, Soviet Union, Sri Lanka, stupid people, stupidity on display, sub-Saharan, Tibet, Tibetans, uninformed opinions, voodoo, we choose to use 'stupid' as a noun. What are you gonna do?, we don't know what we're talking about, Wendigo, William Faulkner, Wyclef Jean, Yeti | Leave a comment

Promethean Times’ 2010 Person Of The Year: Us

Posted on December 31, 2010 by tardsie

By Promethean Times Conventional wisdom warns that TIME‘s annual Person of the Year award is so iconic as to render superfluous any imitations. However, as it has so many times before, Promethean Times eschews the expected by boldly forging a … Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrity, Cinema, Crime, Culture, History, News, Politics, Religion, Sport | Tagged 'Lil Kim, 2010, 2011, Abner Doubleday should sue the hell out of the guy who 'invented' cricket, Africa, American soldiers, Axis of Evil, Barack Obama, bellicose shenanigans, Bernie Madoff, BP, Bradley Manning, Bush the intellectuable, Chief Executive, comical despots, Conan O'Brien, congress, conventional wisdom, copyright infringement, corporate douchebaggery, cricket, Democratic Party, effete Mac users, Elizabeth Edwards, Face & Boobs man, feel-good policies, figurative fellatio, Franklin Pierce, Fugeeman, games foreigners play, genocide, George W. Bush, GOP, Haiti, Haitian Crisis, Haitian Earthquake, Hitler of Major League Baseball, How very original!, hucksterism, impoverished third-world hellhole, Iran, Jay Leno, John Edwards, Julian Assange, Kim Jong-il is batshit crazy, leeches, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is batshit crazy, Martha Stewart Living, Michael Lohan, MiLo, Miss You Mom, modern classics, Mood the Dude, mullets, Nanci Pelosi, nanny state, North Korea, Osama bin Laden, Osama's crazed legions, Pat Robertson, Pat Robertson is batshit crazy, People Magazine, personal magnetism, Pierce was known more for drink than for effective leadership, poor Elizabeth Edwards--she was so brave and she suffered so much, popular culture, President Bush, President Obama, Promethean Times, Promethean Times' Person of the Year, religious right, Republican Party, retcons, rumor has it that the vote for Person of the Year was fixed, San Francisco Giants, San Mateo, Sarah Palin, Smaktakula's hatred of the San Francisco Giants, special-needs children, Spiro Agnew, Sports Illustrated, step your game up, Steve Jobs, Tea Party, terrifying Campfire Girl, Texas Rangers, the canonization of St. Elizabeth, the cult-like devotion accorded to Steve Jobs by effete Mac users, the Devil, the impotence of the UN, the increasing irrelevance of TIME, the UN's maddening inaction in the face of genocide, theogeologist, Tim Lincecum, Time, TIME allows pedestrian intellects to believe they are otherwise, TIME's Person of the Year, Tony Hayward, tradition, Transformers I and II, treachery, UN, United Nations, United States of America, WikiLeaks, Wyclef Jean, yes theogeologist is another coinage but like grammaverick you've gotta admit it kicks ass | Leave a comment

Promethean Times Questions Existence Of Sri Lanka

Posted on December 2, 2010 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula In recent months, international news has been replete with stories about Sri Lanka, from the hot and cold civil war between the government and the Tamil Tigers which ravished the tiny nation from 1983 to 2009, to the … Continue reading →

Posted in Culture, History | Tagged Atlantis, Austria, Barnaby Jones, Burkina Faso, California, cartographers, cartography lobby, Ceylon, Colombo, Colombo not Columbo, Cylons, Djibouti, geographic shenanigans, Haiti, mythical lands, Oz, Rand McNally, Sri Lanka, Tamil Tigers, Tamils, Tibet | 5 Comments

Sinister Forces Align Against Fugeeman

Posted on September 1, 2010 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula Powerful interests have turned on Wyclef “Fugeeman” Jean in an effort to scuttle the hip-hop star’s bid to become president of his native Haiti. Only a few weeks ago, when Fugeeman threw his braids into the ring, it seemed the … Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrity, Crime, Culture, History, News, Politics | Tagged BET, Bolivarian Revolution, comical despots, elections, Fugeefoe, Fugeeman, Haiti, Haiti apparently not just a shoot-'em-up free-for-all, hip-hop, hip-hop jihadists, Hugo Chavez, impoverished third-world backwater, Michel Martelly, MTV, Pras, provisional election council, Saddam Hussein, Sean Penn, strongman, Sweet Micky, Venezuela, voodoo dolls, Wyclef Jean, zombies | Leave a comment

Wyclef’s Just Another Word For Nothing Left To Lose

Posted on July 28, 2010 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula Grammy winner Wyclef Jean announced recently that he was mulling a run in Haiti’s upcoming presidential election. The Haitian-born ex-Fugee is reportedly filing the necessary paperwork in the event he decides to make a bid in November. This revelation is less shocking than it might at … Continue reading →

Posted in Culture, Music, North America, People, Politics | Tagged Ben Jones, Caribbean, celebrity/statesman, fiduciary irresponsibility, Francois "Papa Doc" Duvalier, Fred Grandy, Fugeeman, Fugees, Haiti, hereditary dictatorship, Jean-Bertrand Aristide, Jean-Claude "Baby Doc" Duvalier, Kim Il-sung, Kim Jong-il, presidential election, Rick Santorum, Sonny Bono, Wyclef Jean | 3 Comments

Our Lady Of Nothing Better To Do

Posted on February 5, 2010 by Smaktakula

Getting Hot About Stamps Continue reading →

Posted in Constitutional Issues, Politics, Religion | Tagged athiesm, Christianity, First Amendment, Freedom From Religion Foundation, Haiti, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Teresa, Nation of Islam, Separation of church and state, Stamps | 1 Comment

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Tag Archives: Haiti

Back In Baby’s Arms

Free Tibet! (Or Did That Already Happen?)

Promethean Times’ 2010 Person Of The Year: Us

Promethean Times Questions Existence Of Sri Lanka

Sinister Forces Align Against Fugeeman

Wyclef’s Just Another Word For Nothing Left To Lose

Our Lady Of Nothing Better To Do

LIKE Promethean Times on Facebook!

Subscribe to Promethean Times!

The Best Of Times

Dumb Stuff We Say On Twitter:

Recent Times

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