Tag Archives: jackassery

World Stunned By Death Of ‘Jackass’ Jackass

Posted on June 21, 2011 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula Ryan Dunn, of Jackass fame, was killed early Monday morning when his Porsche collided with a tree in suburban Philadelphia. A passenger in Dunn’s vehicle was also killed in the crash, but details on the person’s identity have … Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrity, News, Stupidity | Tagged death by automobile, foolish choices, Jackass, jackassery, live fast die young, MTV, Philadelphia, poor judgement, Roger Ebert, Ryan Dunn, Why am I so stupid? | 9 Comments

No Brains, But Guts To Spare

Posted on June 15, 2011 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula Disproving the long-standing stereotype that Chinese children are better educated and more intelligent than their Western counterparts, one young man in China has set out to prove that Chinese youth are every bit as stupid as Western kids, … Continue reading →

Posted in Culture, Music, News, Science, Stupidity | Tagged bad decisions, black market body parts, China, consumerism, death by kidney failure, foolish choices, fucking idiots, greed, Guandong, iPad 2, iPhone, jackassery, kidney, morons, organ donors, organ sales, stupid people, vital organs, Why am I so stupid?, Xiao Zheng, you so dumb | Leave a comment

Diddy Unveils Ridiculous New Name

Posted on May 23, 2011 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula Surprisingly, the public is still paying attention to the tiresome karaoke enthusiast (most recently) formerly known as Diddy. Having followed the minimally-talented showboat through such ridiculous incarnations as ‘Puffy,’ Puff Daddy and P. Diddy, the performer’s surprisingly resilient … Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrity, Music, Stupidity, Culture | Tagged marijuana, cannabis, pot, reefer, weed, sweet sweet cheeba, dope, jackassery, untalented stars, hemp, Sean Combs, Puffy, Diddy, unfortunately-named celebrities, attention-seeking celebrities, hip-hop, overpaid performers, Puff Daddy, P. Diddy, Swag, Schwag, karaoke, Squiggy, ridiculous names, swiggy, mogul, multinominal | Leave a comment

Larry The Cable Guy Facing Stompification

Posted on February 7, 2011 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula Cretinous stereotype Larry The Cable Guy has teamed with infotainment network History for the new series Only In America, which profiles such uniquely American innovations as the origins of NASCAR or the popularization of smokeless tobacco. History, formerly the … Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrity | Tagged cable networks, Canada, chewing tobacco, dangerous people, death by Don King, death by kicking, Deep South, Deliverance, Don King, historians, History, inbreeding, jackassery, Kansas, Kinglish, Larry the Cable Guy, money for nothing, NASCAR, non-historians, Only in America, rednecks, scary people, stereotypes, stupid people, sweet hockey moves, the unfunnying of America, TV for idiots, Uncle-Daddy, unfunny comedians, untalented stars, you got a real purty mouth | 5 Comments

Free Tibet! (Or Did That Already Happen?)

Posted on January 6, 2011 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula It’s a challenge to drive any distance these days without seeing the ubiquitous political bumper sticker, in which complex and deeply-nuanced issues are boiled down to a sloganized reduction so bereft of substance that it makes the average … Continue reading →

Posted in Culture, History | Tagged abortion, adhesive decal, Americans' woeful lack of a global perspective, Asia, ass-talking, Barack Obama, bumper sticker mentality, China, Dalai Lama, Did we ever fix the Rain Forest?, Free Tibet flags, Free Tibet!, Free World, freeway pundits, Fugeeman, Haiti, Haitians don't play baseball, irony, irony sense, Ivory Coast, jackassery, John Edwards, John Kerry, KERRY/EDWARDS 2004, Macedonia, mythical creatures, mythical lands, Native Americans, Norway, OBAMA IS A SOCIALIST!, people who want to sound smart but aren't, PISS, political bumper stickers, Political Intelligence Standards Survey, political philosophy, political slogans, post-Soviet, Promethean Times, Smaktakula's ability to shamelessly talk out of his ass, SMILE YOU WEREN'T ABORTED, South America, Soviet Union, Sri Lanka, stupid people, stupidity on display, sub-Saharan, Tibet, Tibetans, uninformed opinions, voodoo, we choose to use 'stupid' as a noun. What are you gonna do?, we don't know what we're talking about, Wendigo, William Faulkner, Wyclef Jean, Yeti | Leave a comment

Indonesia Beset By Twin Disasters; Robertson Silent

Posted on October 27, 2010 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula A freakish double-disaster has claimed the lives of at least 137 people in Indonesia. On Monday, parts of the island nation were stuck by a tsunami, killing a least a hundred people and leaving many more homeless. The … Continue reading →

Posted in News, Religion | Tagged double-disaster, idiotic comments, Indonesia, jackassery, Mount Merapi, muslims, natural disasters, Pat Robertson, Pat Robertson is batshit crazy, religious intolerance, televangelist, tsunami, volcanic activity, volcanoes | 2 Comments

Star Whackers Target Hollywood D-Listers

Posted on October 26, 2010 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula Is there a secret cabal of assassins intent on taking down Hollywood one actor at a time? Cretinous bumbler Randy Quaid and his wife Evi think so. Fearing such a shadow force, the Quaids appeared before Canada’s Immigration … Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrity, Crime, News, Stupidity | Tagged actors, Actors' Equity Union, autoerotic asphyxiation, California, Canada, Cousin Eddie, crazy people, cretinous bumbler, David Carradine, Dennis Quaid, Evi Quaid, Heath Ledger, jackassery, Kingpin, National Lampoon's Vacation, political asylum, Randall Rudy Quaid, Randy Quaid, restraining order, Santa Barbara, scandal, Seattle, star whackers | 3 Comments

Could You Be An Asshole? Truckbawlz

Posted on October 20, 2010 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula If you’ve got a swingin’ pair of nuts hanging pendulously from your trailer hitch, then you most definitely are.

Posted in Culture, Stupidity | Tagged big trucks, Cashew Dick, childish sexual innuendo, Could you be an asshole?, deez nuts, douchebaggery, hitch nuts, jackassery, little man's syndrome, loser, machismo, macho bullshit, object of ridicule, pitiable braggadocio, so sad, testicle tow hitch, testicles, tiny penis, white trash | 5 Comments

Nimrod The Hunter

Posted on October 19, 2010 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula Very little is known about Nimrod the Hunter, and much of the information available about the ancient ruler is of uncertain historical accuracy. Moreover, some texts, like the Bible and Talmud, offer differing accounts of Nimrod’s life. Believed … Continue reading →

Posted in History, Stupidity | Tagged badassery, jackassery, Nimrod, Star Wars Kid, the Bible, the Hunter, the Talmud | Leave a comment

The Skonk

Posted on August 23, 2010 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula In preparation for our upcoming multi-part investigative series on modern whoredom, Skanks In The Crosshairs, the Promethean Times Research Staff spent hundreds of man-hours reading tabloids, clipping articles from old issues of People Magazine we’d liberated from dentists’ offices, and … Continue reading →

Posted in Cinema, Culture, General Foolishness, Health, Hollywood, People, Political Correctness, Reality Television, Relationships, Scandal, Television | Tagged Abraham Lincoln, Adolf Hitler, Albert Einstein, Barack Obama, Big Bird, Bill Clinton, Bill O'Reilly, Bush 41, Bush 43, Colin Farrell, crabs, David Letterman, Eddie Murphy, Elmo, FDR, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Fred, George Herbert Walker Bush, George W. Bush, herpes, heterosexuality, homosexuality, J. Robert Oppenheimer, jackassery, James Bond, John F. Kennedy, John Lennon, Johnny Depp, Karl Marx, Keith Richards, man-skanks, man-whores, Mick Jagger, misconceptions regarding skanks, Mohandas Gandhi, Morrissey, Napoleon Bonaparte, Pat Sajak, Paul McCartney, People Magazine, Richard M. Nixon, Russell Crowe, Sherlock Holmes, skankery, skanks, Skanks in the Crosshairs, skonk, skonkery, skonks, Slick Willy, STDs, Stephen Morrissey, tabloids, Thomas Jefferson, W, whoredom, William Henry Harrison, William Jefferson Clinton, William McKinley, Woodrow Wilson, Woody Allen, you got a real purty mouth | 4 Comments

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Tag Archives: jackassery

World Stunned By Death Of ‘Jackass’ Jackass

No Brains, But Guts To Spare

Diddy Unveils Ridiculous New Name

Larry The Cable Guy Facing Stompification

Free Tibet! (Or Did That Already Happen?)

Indonesia Beset By Twin Disasters; Robertson Silent

Star Whackers Target Hollywood D-Listers

Could You Be An Asshole? Truckbawlz

Nimrod The Hunter

The Skonk

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