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Tag Archives: Japan
Best of Headlines Part I
By Smaktakula Howdy, folks. Headlines has always been one of our favorite Promethean Times features, and recently it seems to have picked up popularity with our readers. This wasn’t always the case. It might surprise you to know we’ve done … Continue reading
Posted in Culture, News, Politics, Science, Sport, Stupidity
Tagged drugs, US Navy, Republicans, childish sexual innuendo, Arkansas, Lindsay Lohan, LiLo, Leonardo DiCaprio, India, hookers, Somalia, you got a real purty mouth, Japan, Yoko Ono, STDs, gay people, Smaktakula is aware that 'penises' is the accepted plural but if it's good enough for Steinbeck it's good enough for you, Lady Gaga, Los Angeles, fun with stereotypes, headlines, Latinos, the French, Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French, American Civil War, nudists, perverts, Uranus
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The Candybomber: Weapons Of Mass Delight
By Smaktakula Typically the characters to be found skulking through the pages of Promethean Times are a dark and sorry lot of maladjusted degenerates, ne’er-do-wells and comical third-world despots. And yet, history sometimes offers those examples of human endeavor which are not … Continue reading
Posted in Culture
Tagged Allies, Axis, Berlin, Berlin Airlift, bravery, Candybomber, comical despots, David Hasselhoff, do-gooders, East Berlin, Gail Halvorsen, Germany, Japan, Josef Stalin, Mormons, ne'er-do-wells, Onkel Wackelflügel, Operation Little Vittles, ridiculous German words, ugly Americans, Uncle Wiggly-Wings, unfortunate names, United States of America, US Air Force, USSR, Utah, West Berlin, WWII
31 Comments
Headlines 01.20.12
By Smaktakula In which we comment on contemporary headlines without first reading the articles: 25 members of Congress with lowest net worth ~ How much respect should we have for these mouth-breathers if they can’t even steal right? Putin faces off … Continue reading
Posted in Crime, Culture, Entertainment, News, Politics, Religion
Tagged Axl Rose, bad teeth, Beyonce Knowles, Blue Ivy Carter, breasts, breastuses, California, Catholic Church, childish sexual innuendo, Chinese Democracy, Chris Paul, Clippers, congress, Costa Concordia, death by cruise ship, dope, drugs, God, grass, headlines, hemp, Hope, inbreeding, Japan, Jay-Z, marijuana, Muammar al-Gaddafi, Nakh-Nakh the Pig, pederasts, pot, Powerball, reefer, Rick Santorum, schadenfreude, sweet sweet cheeba, taint, Teen Mom, Vladimir Putin, weed
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Headlines 12.15.11
By Smaktakula In which we respond to the headlines, while ignoring the content. *** Asians, Too, Mated With Archaic Humans, DNA Hints ~ So it’s not just Ashton Kutcher. Did Lohan crash DiCaprio’s party? ~ Look, just because I let you blow … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Culture, Entertainment, History, Music, News, Religion, Science, Sport, Stupidity
Tagged Apolo Ohno, Ashton Kutcher, Britney Spears, childish sexual innuendo, Colorado, crackheads, Denver Broncos, Elizabeth Taylor, fat people, Finland, Godzilla, great white shark, headlines, Japan, Jesus Christ, Justin Bieber, Leonardo DiCaprio, Lindsay Lohan, Los Angeles, masturbation, moochers, Nadya Suleman, old people, Pauly D, rape, Tim Tebow, Tokyo, Twilight, Uranus
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Sensitivity Levels Slowly Returning To Normal After Japanese Nuclear Disaster
By Smaktakula At long last a damaged world is beginning to heal and learn to laugh again. On March 11, a massive earthquake off Japan’s west coast set in motion a calamitous chain of events which would prove among the … Continue reading
Posted in Culture, History, News
Tagged atomic bomb, be sensitive or else, cosplay, earthquake, Enola Gay, fallout, Fukushima Nuclear Power Plant, Gilbert Gottfried, Godzilla, hypersensitivity, Japan, Japanese Nuclear Crisis, Land of the Rising Sun, nuclear disaster, safe to joke about, tsunami
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Baby On Board
By Smaktakula Statistics back it up: despite millions of new cars on the road ever year, the highway is becoming a safer place worldwide. The reasons for this happy trend are myriad, among them: improving infrastructures, increased awareness about driver’s … Continue reading
Posted in Culture, History
Tagged 1980s, 21st Century, America's obsession with safety, automobile, automobile accidents, Baby on Board, bad drivers, child safety seats, cost-effective, death by automobile, feel-good policies, George Carlin, Godzilla, infrastructure, Japan, ready-to-use, safety, safety scams, traffic safety, Won't somebody please think of the children?
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This Day In History: December 7, 1941 CE
On which itchy trigger fingers within the Japanese Empire are at least a generation premature in precipitating a war with America, finding Greatest Generation Americans not to be the vacuous, lazy, self-indulgent whiners their children will become. So sorry . … Continue reading
Posted in History, News
Tagged 64-Bit Wars, a date which will live in infamy, Baby Boomers, December 7, Isoroku Yamamoto, Japan, Japanese Empire, Pearl Harbor, sneak attack, Surprise!, the Arizona, the Greatest Generation, this day in history, Tora! Tora! Tora!, Uncle Giuseppe, United States of America, US Navy, World War II
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Paris Hilton Ja-Banned
By Smaktakula Japan can now include itself among the growing list of nations officially discriminating against skanks. The Land of the Rising Sun has gone dark for strumpets: Paris Hilton is persona non grata in Japan. Representatives of Japan’s immigration … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Crime, Culture, Stupidity
Tagged anti-skank bigotry, bigotry, celebriskanks, cocaine, drugs, famous for nothing, Free Tibet!, Gaijin Skank!, Hilton Hotels, Ja-Ban, Japan, Japanese economy, Japanese immigration policy, Land of the Rising Sun, Las Vegas, Nevada, Paris Hilton, persona non grata, skankery, skankism, skanks, skonks, untalented stars, We're aware that the captivity of Tibet has fuck all to do with Japan, well-known whores
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Not What You Were Looking Four?
By Smaktakula Well what did you think we were gonna call it? Not what you were looking for four? Imbecile. Newer readers who are unfamiliar with our “Not What You Were Looking For?” series may wish to review our first three … Continue reading
Posted in Culture, General Foolishness, Hollywood, People
Tagged Anne Rice, Baby Boomers, bulls, Chesley Sullenberger, crazy bastard, David Arquette, dope, douchebaggery, Dr. Grigori Perelman, dreadlocks, Garfield, goring, grass, Great Moments In American Diplomacy, Guy Fieri, hairless hit factory, hemp, hippies, Hiroshima, incompetent boobery, Japan, Jeffrey Jones, John Wayne Bobbitt, Jon Lovitz, Justin Bieber, Kathy Ireland, Lorena Gallo Bobbitt, marijuana, Michael Steele, Mike Tyson, Mom and Dad Save the World, nasty blond dreadlocks, Olive Garden, pirates, pot, Ramtha, reefer, Richard Simmons, Saudi Arabia, sweet sweet cheeba, tattoos, Teri Garr, Wallace Shawn
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