Tag Archives: Kim Jong-il

Promethean Times’ 2011 Person Of The Year: Us Again

By The Promethean Times Editorial Staff We’ll admit it–we didn’t think it would come to this.  We figured we’d be rich by now, or at the very least the Rapture would have freed us from our myriad woes.  Since it … Continue reading

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North Korea Fires On Santa’s Sleigh

By Smaktakula In a move considered dickish even by the attenuated standards of blighted pariah nations, rogue state North Korea fired two Nodong-2 missles at Santa’s Sleigh early Sunday morning, narrowly missing the beloved quasi-diety.  Santa and his reindeer are … Continue reading

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‘Lil Kim Adjusting To New Life In Witness Relocation Program

By Smaktakula Kim Jong-il, the once-feared despot of blighted hellhole North Korea, is said to be transitioning easily into his new life as a Compton, California liquor store owner.  Although the blue-collar life might seem like a comedown from the … Continue reading

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North Korea: Crazy For The Orympics

By Smaktakula You have to admire those plucky North Koreans.  Starving, impoverished and confined to a backwater shithole that makes Yemen look like Westchester County, the North Koreans still manage to delude themselves with dreams as distorting of reality as … Continue reading

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Third-World Hellholes More Fun Than Disneyland

By Smaktakula The International Happiness rankings are in, and the news is not good for the United States.  In a humiliating reversal of expectations that stunned all but a few of the world’s nations, the first-world nation and so-called ‘last remaining … Continue reading

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Know Your Dictafro

By Smaktakula The individual hairstyles of powerful men and women are as unique as fingerprints.  Observe:

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‘Lil ‘Lil Kim: The Least Of Three Evils

By Smaktakula In the weeks following the announcement in Pyongyang regarding the planned succession of Kim Jong-un, the corpulent youngest son of decaying comical despot Kim Jong-il.  Kim Jong-un, known popularly as “The Brilliant Comrade” or according to some sources, … Continue reading

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Tonight, A Father And Son Are A Rittre Ress Ronery

By Smaktakula In the dismal, crumbling concrete tomb that is Pyongyang, there are small but increasingly hopeful signs of life.  In a touching moment of bonding, dying despot Kim Jong-il is reportedly spending quality time with his youngest son and … Continue reading

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‘Lil ‘Lil Kim’s ‘Lil Weight Problem

By Smaktakula It’s not typical in the information age for the political rising star of a nuclear-capable rogue state to go unnoticed by nervous foreign powers.  But in the case of the Brilliant Comrade, Kim Jong-il’s mysterious and until recently … Continue reading

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‘Lil ‘Lil Kim Promoted

By Smaktakula Pyongyang announced recently that The Brilliant Comrade Kim Jong-un, son of comical despot Kim Jong-il has been made a vice-chairman of the Central Military Commission and promoted to the rank of Four Star General.  Most North Korea analysts see … Continue reading

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