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Tag Archives: LiLo
Best of Headlines Part I
By Smaktakula Howdy, folks. Headlines has always been one of our favorite Promethean Times features, and recently it seems to have picked up popularity with our readers. This wasn’t always the case. It might surprise you to know we’ve done … Continue reading
Posted in Culture, News, Politics, Science, Sport, Stupidity
Tagged American Civil War, Arkansas, childish sexual innuendo, drugs, fun with stereotypes, gay people, headlines, hookers, India, Japan, Lady Gaga, Latinos, Leonardo DiCaprio, LiLo, Lindsay Lohan, Los Angeles, nudists, perverts, Republicans, Smaktakula is aware that 'penises' is the accepted plural but if it's good enough for Steinbeck it's good enough for you, Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French, Somalia, STDs, the French, Uranus, US Navy, Yoko Ono, you got a real purty mouth
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LiLo’s Got The Meth Mouth
By Smaktakula True? False? That’s what the gossip sites are reporting, anyway. More accurately, they’re claiming that the self-destructing former starlet and Flower of American Skankhood has a mouth full of rotting teeth, from which Promethean Times irresponsibly infers that … Continue reading
The Eternal Pervert
By Smaktakula The line between healthy skepticism and credulity is razor-thin. Sorry, kids–Michael Jackson is dead. Jim Morrison? Dead. Kurt Cobain? Dead. Lindsay Lohan? Tick . . . Tick . . . Tick . . . You’ll notice we … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Crime, Culture, Stupidity
Tagged Celebrity Death Watch, credulity, dead celebrities, Elvis > Michael Jackson, Elvis Aaron Presley, former child stars, future drug overdose, Jim Morrison, King of Pop, Kurt Cobain, LiLo, Lindsay Lohan, Michael Jackson, pederasts, pervertry, perverts, skepticism
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Lohan: The Time To Hit That Is Now
By Smaktakula Former child star Lindsay Lohan revealed recently in an international statement that she was not currently in a relationship, declaring “I’m available.” Men and women between the ages of 16-65 who have yet to engage in casual, anonymous … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Culture, News
Tagged celebrities, Celebrity Death Watch, cocaine, Did she jump or was she pushed?, drugs, Flower of American Skankhood, former child stars, IPO, LiLo, Lindsay Lohan, Lindsay's boobs, NSFW, Schnapps, skankery, skanks, tick . . .tick . . .tick, untalented stars
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Headlines 03.25.11
By Smaktakula and Various Editors In which we sound off on the headlines, without bothering to read the articles. Single, Female, Mormon, Alone~That could not be any sexier. Suspect Confesses to Murdering Pakistani Politician~When you’re interrogated by the Pakistani ISI, … Continue reading
Grand Theft LiLo
By Smaktakula The date for Lindsay Lohan’s final, pathetic implosion remains unknown, but draws inexorably closer. Throughout her short life, the Flower of American Skankhood has faced a number of legal difficulties both domestically and abroad, but can now add … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Crime, News
Tagged baby daddy, Bill Clinton, California, celebriskanks, Celebrity Death Watch, completely preventable deaths, Crime, drugs, Flower of American Skankhood, grand theft, implosion, legal issues, LiLo, LiLophiles, Lindsay Lohan, Lohan arrested, lost girls, Marilyn Monroe, skankery, skanks, theft, tweakers, untalented stars, Venice
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LiLo Blowing Chance To Portray Infamous Cinematic Fellatrix
By Smaktakula Lindsay Lohan’s escapades have led to a warrant for her arrest, and cast doubt upon the fate of the former child star’s latest comeback vehicle, Inferno. The warrant comes as a response to the Flower of American Skankhood’s most … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Cinema, Crime, Stupidity
Tagged arrests, BJs, blow jobs, celebrity skin, childish sexual innuendo, Chris Hanley, cocaine, Deep Throat, Dimeatapp, drugs, Emil Haagerdäddi, fellatio, fellatrix, Fifteen Minutes of Fame, Flower of American Skankhood, former child stars, Inferno, LEAVE LINDSAY ALONE!!!, LiLo, LiLophiles, Linda Lovelace, Lindsay Lohan, methamphetamine, porno movies, pornography, pr0n, rehab, sausage smuggling, skanks, slobbin' the knob, the coke favored by Clan Lohan is neither a coal by-product nor a cola, untalented stars, Where Are They Now?, you got a real purty mouth
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