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Tag Archives: Lindsay Lohan
Best of Headlines Part I
By Smaktakula Howdy, folks. Headlines has always been one of our favorite Promethean Times features, and recently it seems to have picked up popularity with our readers. This wasn’t always the case. It might surprise you to know we’ve done … Continue reading
Posted in Culture, News, Politics, Science, Sport, Stupidity
Tagged American Civil War, Arkansas, childish sexual innuendo, drugs, fun with stereotypes, gay people, headlines, hookers, India, Japan, Lady Gaga, Latinos, Leonardo DiCaprio, LiLo, Lindsay Lohan, Los Angeles, nudists, perverts, Republicans, Smaktakula is aware that 'penises' is the accepted plural but if it's good enough for Steinbeck it's good enough for you, Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French, Somalia, STDs, the French, Uranus, US Navy, Yoko Ono, you got a real purty mouth
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The Elderly Are Right About One Thing At Least: Kids Today Have It Too Damn Easy
By Smaktakula One of the universal cornerstones of adulthood is the opportunity to bitch vociferously among the members of one’s own generation about how easy kids have it today. That every generation since the dawn of history has engaged in … Continue reading
Posted in Culture, History, Stupidity
Tagged cocaine, dope, drugs, grass, hemp, Kentucky, kids today, Lindsay Lohan, LSD, lycergic acid diethylamide. LSD not LDS which is something very different, marijuana, Mexico, nutmeg, PCP, Piggly Wiggly, places that suck, pot, Reddi-Wip, reefer, Somalia, Special K, spice rack highs, sweet lady meg, sweet sweet cheeba, weed, whippets
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Headlines 12.15.11
By Smaktakula In which we respond to the headlines, while ignoring the content. *** Asians, Too, Mated With Archaic Humans, DNA Hints ~ So it’s not just Ashton Kutcher. Did Lohan crash DiCaprio’s party? ~ Look, just because I let you blow … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Culture, Entertainment, History, Music, News, Religion, Science, Sport, Stupidity
Tagged Apolo Ohno, Ashton Kutcher, Britney Spears, childish sexual innuendo, Colorado, crackheads, Denver Broncos, Elizabeth Taylor, fat people, Finland, Godzilla, great white shark, headlines, Japan, Jesus Christ, Justin Bieber, Leonardo DiCaprio, Lindsay Lohan, Los Angeles, masturbation, moochers, Nadya Suleman, old people, Pauly D, rape, Tim Tebow, Tokyo, Twilight, Uranus
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LiLo’s Got The Meth Mouth
By Smaktakula True? False? That’s what the gossip sites are reporting, anyway. More accurately, they’re claiming that the self-destructing former starlet and Flower of American Skankhood has a mouth full of rotting teeth, from which Promethean Times irresponsibly infers that … Continue reading
The Eternal Pervert
By Smaktakula The line between healthy skepticism and credulity is razor-thin. Sorry, kids–Michael Jackson is dead. Jim Morrison? Dead. Kurt Cobain? Dead. Lindsay Lohan? Tick . . . Tick . . . Tick . . . You’ll notice we … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Crime, Culture, Stupidity
Tagged Celebrity Death Watch, credulity, dead celebrities, Elvis > Michael Jackson, Elvis Aaron Presley, former child stars, future drug overdose, Jim Morrison, King of Pop, Kurt Cobain, LiLo, Lindsay Lohan, Michael Jackson, pederasts, pervertry, perverts, skepticism
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Lohan: The Time To Hit That Is Now
By Smaktakula Former child star Lindsay Lohan revealed recently in an international statement that she was not currently in a relationship, declaring “I’m available.” Men and women between the ages of 16-65 who have yet to engage in casual, anonymous … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Culture, News
Tagged celebrities, Celebrity Death Watch, cocaine, Did she jump or was she pushed?, drugs, Flower of American Skankhood, former child stars, IPO, LiLo, Lindsay Lohan, Lindsay's boobs, NSFW, Schnapps, skankery, skanks, tick . . .tick . . .tick, untalented stars
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Headlines 03.25.11
By Smaktakula and Various Editors In which we sound off on the headlines, without bothering to read the articles. Single, Female, Mormon, Alone~That could not be any sexier. Suspect Confesses to Murdering Pakistani Politician~When you’re interrogated by the Pakistani ISI, … Continue reading
