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Tag Archives: Michael Jackson
Emmanuel Lewis: The Antigary
By Smaktakula Diminutive former child stars Emmanuel Lewis and Gary Coleman are often mentioned in the same sentence. At first glance, the similarities seem obvious: both were stunted African-American Eighties sitcom stars prized for their cuteness. And when their respective … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity
Tagged adorable, African-Americans, Antigary, baby bunnies, Brooke Shields, Clark Atlanta University, death by gun, death by hooker, Diff'rent Strokes, diminutive skonks, Emmanuel is the Antigary, Emmanuel Lewis, evil alternate universe, famous short people, former child stars, Gary Coleman, karate, King of Pop, Lolcats, man-whores, Michael Jackson, shitty TV shows, short people, skonks, small black actor, The Biggest 40 Inches in Hollywood, TV, Utah, Webster, Whatchootalkinboutwillis?
7 Comments
Raping Justin Bieber
By Smaktakula I can prove to you that rape is funny. Picture Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd. George Carlin By her own admission, Mariah Yeater is a predator. She has repeatedly boasted to anyone who will listen about the events of … Continue reading
A Funny Story About Clowns
By Tardsie (from the common folklore) In which we retell an old tale about a boy and his tormentor. The Greasepaint Horror When Johnny Weems was just seven years old, he begged his parents to take him to the circus … Continue reading
Posted in Culture
Tagged Bozo, Carrot Top, clowns, Insane Clown Posse, John Wayne Gacy, Joker, KISS, Michael Jackson, mimes, Pennywise, pervertry, Smaktakula's hatred of clowns
3 Comments
The Eternal Pervert
By Smaktakula The line between healthy skepticism and credulity is razor-thin. Sorry, kids–Michael Jackson is dead. Jim Morrison? Dead. Kurt Cobain? Dead. Lindsay Lohan? Tick . . . Tick . . . Tick . . . You’ll notice we … Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Crime, Culture, Stupidity
Tagged Celebrity Death Watch, credulity, dead celebrities, Elvis > Michael Jackson, Elvis Aaron Presley, former child stars, future drug overdose, Jim Morrison, King of Pop, Kurt Cobain, LiLo, Lindsay Lohan, Michael Jackson, pederasts, pervertry, perverts, skepticism
2 Comments
Convincing Black Men To Stop Straightening Their Hair
By Smaktakula Look, this is America–really, you can wear your hair any way you want. However, in our ongoing battle against follicular douchebaggery, Promethean Times has previously inveighed against such stylistic travesties as the mullet, the fauxhawk and dreadlocks on blond guys. … Continue reading
Posted in Culture
Tagged African-Americans, Al Sharpton, Alicia Keyes, Arsenio Hall, black men, civil rights, dreadlocks, fauxhawk, follicular douchebaggery, freedom to look like an idiot, James Brown, men, Michael Jackson, mullets, nasty blond dreadlocks, odious hairstyles, pimps, preachers, Snoop Dogg, straight hair, white people
6 Comments
Short People: At Last, A Reason To Live
By Smaktakula Let’s be perfectly clear: we have nothing against short people. Although we have in the past referred (and will no doubt continue to do so) to the vertically-challenged as runts, trolls, homunculi or other appellations highlighting their stunted … Continue reading
Posted in Science, Stupidity
Tagged racism, hate speech, bigotry, Emmanuel Lewis, unfortunates, Charles Manson, Abigail Folger, normals, AK-47, Napoleon Bonaparte, Smaktakula's distrust of short people, sizeism, wrath of God, Olympics, short people, short people are plain evil!, runts, little people, homunculi, vertically challenged, shrimp, Mini-Me, Verne Troyer, lawn jockeys, jockeys, trolls, Kentucky Derby, Vietnam Conflict, Viet Cong, VC, tunnel rats, Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French, Randy Newman, hate anthem, Big & Tall, Spud Webb, 5'10" isn't tall, Tom Cruise, Michael Jackson, Homo Sapiens, Homo Runticus, shorty, ironic nicknames
1 Comment
