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Tag Archives: Michael Lohan
Help Find Corey’s Jacket!
By Smaktakula Times have been tough for Corey Feldman. In 2009, Susie Sprague, the actor’s second wife, filed for divorce, seeking custody of their son, the ridiculously-named Zen Feldman. Last year he was rocked by the death of his long-time … Continue reading
Headlines 03.25.11
By Smaktakula and Various Editors In which we sound off on the headlines, without bothering to read the articles. Single, Female, Mormon, Alone~That could not be any sexier. Suspect Confesses to Murdering Pakistani Politician~When you’re interrogated by the Pakistani ISI, … Continue reading
Michael Lohan: Bad Father, Even Badder Boyfriend
By Smaktakula It’s hard to find many people who pity slimy CelebriMom Dina Lohan, but Kate Major can now count herself among that select few. Until just a few days ago, Major shared a bed with Lohan’s troubled ex-husband, the … Continue reading
Fan Mail From MiLo
Michael Lohan, Lindsay’s parasitic dad, loves Promethean Times! Well, ALL RIGHT! Continue reading
Posted in Celebrity, Culture
Tagged anti-catholic, anti-poor, bad parents, Biblical scholars, famous for nothing, Jon Gosselin, left-wing, Lindsay Lohan's father, Massengill disposable douche, Michael Lohan, Michael Lohan is a turd with eyes, MiLo, Octomom, parasites, Periplaneta lohanis, right-wing, stupid people, thin-skinned
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Not What You Were Looking For? Episode Three: The Search For Cock
By Smaktakula Presenting the third installment in our wildly popular series: Not What You Were Looking For? In which we list some of the search engine terms (indicated in bold) by which you found us, and for which you should rightly be ashamed. You … Continue reading
Posted in Baseball, Crime, Critters, Culture, Drug Culture, General Foolishness, Music, People, Race, Sports, World Affairs
Tagged 19th Century French Literature, bovine-on-human violence, Cat in the Hat, CDSA, childish sexual innuendo, China, cock, CockBlog, comical despots, comical spelling errors, Confessions of an America-Hating Man-Jezebel, craptastic eatery, curs, Donkey Kong, douchebaggery, dreadlocks, drugs, Duke, even Jesus thinks Fred Phelps sucks, fat people, female anatomy, Freddie Mercury, Fugeeman, George Sherrill, happy thoughts, hot and cold running chicks, Irene Folstrom, Islam, Jay Bush, Jean Valjean, Jean-Bertrand Aristide, K2, Les Miserables, madness, marijuana, Mauritanian Meat-Sword, Michael Lohan, Michael Lohan is a turd with eyes, Miley Cyrus, not what you were looking for?, old people, Olive Garden, Pakistan, pastaphilia, Pauly Shore, penis, penis-based racism, people of size, phallophilia, poor spelling, racism, rastaphilia, rave culture, Reverend Fred Phelps, Ruminations of a Junkie for Politics, senior citizens, sexy nurses, skankery, skankism, Smaktakula is aware that 'penises' is the accepted plural but if it's good enough for Steinbeck it's good enough for you, Smaktakula's troubling insecurity, Soylent Green, sweet sweet cheeba, the knacker, treachery, Turkish Tool, unctuous pimp, vagina, Victor Hugo, violence, virile He-Man, waddling grotesquery, Walt Stoelting, weed, Why am I so fat?, Wyclef Jean, your mother must be very proud
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Happy Thoughts For Tuesday: Thank God Michael Lohan Isn’t Your Dad
By Smaktakula In the tradition of such illustrious space-wasters as Brian “Kato” Kaelin and Kevin “K-Fed” Federline, unctuous pimp Michael Lohan has managed to keep food in his belly by crafting a persona famous for being semi-famous. Lohan, no doubt a subscriber to the maxim, “All Roads … Continue reading
Posted in Cinema, Culture, Drug Culture, Drugs, General Foolishness, Hollywood, National Events, People, Relationships, Scandal, Social Networking, Television
Tagged avoiding responsibility, Bitch better have my money, bottom bitch, Branson, Brian Kaelin, Calcutta, cockroach, Dina Lohan, douchebaggery, famous for nothing, fare-dodgers, Fifteen Minutes of Fame, Frank Kapra, gaywads, gold digger, happy thoughts, India, It's A Wonderful Life, K-Fed, Kato Kaelin, Kevin Federline, LEAVE LINDSAY ALONE!!!, LiLo, Lindbergh Baby, Lindbergh Kidnapping, Lindsay Lohan, Lindsay Lohan's father, making excuses, massive gaywad, Michael Lohan, Michael Lohan is a turd with eyes, Missouri, parasite, Periplaneta lohanis, remora, shitty parents, social climber, Space Shuttle Challenger, suckerfish, taking responsibility, the coke favored by Clan Lohan is neither a coal by-product nor a cola, unctuous pimp, vampire
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Fast-Approaching Lohan Trainwreck Promises To Be A Spectacular And Tragic Waste
Lindsay Lohan: Let’s Just Say Goodbye Now. Continue reading
Posted in Culture, Drug Culture, General Foolishness, Hollywood, People, Satire, Scandal
Tagged Celebrity Death Watch, court date, Dina Lohan, DUI, E-Trade, Flower of American Skankhood, former child stars, has-been, India, inebriate, LEAVE LINDSAY ALONE!!!, LiLo, Lindsay Lohan, Michael Lohan, Promethean Times' Patron Skank, skankery, sniper, untalented stars, US Justice System
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