Tag Archives: North Korea

Return Of Not What You Were Looking For?

Posted on March 2, 2012 by tardsie

By Tardsie Not everyone who visits Promethean Times finds us on purpose. Here we respond to some of the bizarre, dangerous and downright foul search terms by which you found us. Enjoy! *** fags love straight men ~ It’s true, but … Continue reading →

Posted in Stupidity, Culture | Tagged drugs, abortion, Barack Obama, China, Baseball, marijuana, Robert Mugabe, douchebaggery, Taliban, pot, reefer, weed, urban legends, Afghanistan, sweet sweet cheeba, dope, mullets, hemp, grass, Stupid Gene, Barry Bonds, North Korea, tiny penis, Westboro Baptist Church, Emmanuel Lewis, degenerates, Courtney Love, even Jesus thinks Fred Phelps sucks, seriously--hippies are odious, drunken Irishmen, not what you were looking for?, vagina, Bert & Ernie, Kim Jong-un, fellatrix, Prince William, fauxhawks, testicles, Massengill disposable douche, Russell Brand, Camilla Parker Bowles, Billy Carter, pork, Tina Fey, Tina Fey not dead, Hugh Hefner, water sports, breastuses, Pedobear, rope, black sororities, Yao Ming, Herb Tarlek, femullet | 12 Comments

Promethean Times’ 2011 Person Of The Year: Us Again

Posted on December 30, 2011 by Smaktakula

By The Promethean Times Editorial Staff We’ll admit it–we didn’t think it would come to this. We figured we’d be rich by now, or at the very least the Rapture would have freed us from our myriad woes. Since it … Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrity, News, History, Culture, Crime, Politics, Religion, Entertainment | Tagged Tea Party, muslims, Nancy Pelosi, Fidel Castro, Barack Obama, Washington State, Robert Mugabe, Zimbabwe, Muammar al-Gaddafi, arson, Republicans, Democrats, California, Armenian Genocide, United States of America, Lindsay Lohan, LiLo, Afghanistan, Flower of American Skankhood, Charlie Sheen, North Korea, Celebrity Death Watch, Kim Jong-il, gay people, Osama bin Laden, 'Lil Kim, self-promotion so shameless that it borders on hucksterism, Smaktakula is aware that 'penises' is the accepted plural but if it's good enough for Steinbeck it's good enough for us, dumb kids and the dumb things they do to fuck up their lives, Kim Kardashian, Kim Jong-un, narcos, Prince William, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Kate Middleton, Diana Spencer, Leslie Nielsen, the French, Promethean Times' Person of the Year, Steve Jobs, the cult-like devotion accorded to Steve Jobs by effete Mac users, 2010, 2011, Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French, places that suck, Libya, the West, San Francisco, South Africa, puppy-killing, Rapture, prognostication, Dirk Nowitzki, LeBron James, Lewis County, Smaktakula's vendetta against Lewis County, Amy Winehouse, Arab Spring, Julius Malema, Oakland, Occupy, ennui, Mayans, 2012, 1492, Democratic Republic of Congo, Gabby Giffords, Code Pink, John Boehner, Cleveland, Randy 'Macho Man' Savage, Jani Lane | Leave a comment

North Korea Fires On Santa’s Sleigh

Posted on December 25, 2011 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula In a move considered dickish even by the attenuated standards of blighted pariah nations, rogue state North Korea fired two Nodong-2 missles at Santa’s Sleigh early Sunday morning, narrowly missing the beloved quasi-diety. Santa and his reindeer are … Continue reading →

Posted in Crime, News, Politics | Tagged Kim Jong-il, Kim Jong-un, Merry Christmas!, Nodong-2, North Korea, pariah nation, places that suck, Pyongyang, rogue state, Santa Claus, South Korea > North Korea, you can't tell us that 'Pyongyang' doesn't sound like a filthy word to you | 1 Comment

‘Lil Kim Adjusting To New Life In Witness Relocation Program

Posted on December 19, 2011 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula Kim Jong-il, the once-feared despot of blighted hellhole North Korea, is said to be transitioning easily into his new life as a Compton, California liquor store owner. Although the blue-collar life might seem like a comedown from the … Continue reading →

Posted in Culture | Tagged 'Lil 'Lil Kim, 'Lil Kim, California, comical despots, Compton, Ding Dong the Dick is Dead!, Kim Jong-il, Kim Jong-un, liquor stores, Muammar al-Gaddafi, North Korea, Saddam Hussein, So Ronery, South Korea, Witness Relocation Program | 1 Comment

Interstate Port-O-Potty

Posted on October 26, 2011 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula Of the world’s wretched, filthy and flyblown places, the haphazardly maintained Honey Buckets¹ encountered at some of America’s lonelier Interstate rest stops must surely rank among the foulest. ¹Like Kleenex, Honey Bucket is a brand name which has come to … Continue reading →

Posted in Culture | Tagged backwater shithole, chemical toilet, impoverished third-world hellhole, Kleenex, life in North Korea sure is shitty!, North Korea, places that suck, port-o-potty, porta potty, shitty brands, United States of America | Leave a comment

Let’s Try Hating Someone New

Posted on October 14, 2011 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula Humanity is no stranger to hate. Throughout its long and bloody history, Homo sapiens has always managed to find a worthwhile reason not just to oppose another group’s political and social agenda, but to despise and fear the … Continue reading →

Posted in Crime, Culture, Politics, Religion | Tagged Africa, anti-semitism, Apartheid, beekeepers, bigotry, Caliphate, comb-overs, diglero, digleroes, Donald Trump, hate crime, haters gonna hate, homophobia, homosexuality, Islam, Jews, man we hate digs so much, North Korea, outright lies, Rascal Flatts, South Africa, the Donald | Leave a comment

North Korea: Crazy For The Orympics

Posted on July 20, 2011 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula You have to admire those plucky North Koreans. Starving, impoverished and confined to a backwater shithole that makes Yemen look like Westchester County, the North Koreans still manage to delude themselves with dreams as distorting of reality as … Continue reading →

Posted in Culture, News, Politics, Sport | Tagged 'Lil Kim, 2018, competitive eating, football, Golf, happiness, impoverished third-world backwater, impoverished third-world hellhole, incredible sporting achievements, Kim Il-sung, Kim Jong-il, North Korea, Olympics, places that suck, Soccer, South Korea, South Korea > North Korea, Westchester County, Yemen | Leave a comment

Third-World Hellholes More Fun Than Disneyland

Posted on June 24, 2011 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula The International Happiness rankings are in, and the news is not good for the United States. In a humiliating reversal of expectations that stunned all but a few of the world’s nations, the first-world nation and so-called ‘last remaining … Continue reading →

Posted in Culture, News, Politics | Tagged 'Lil Jim, 'Lil Kim, abundance, arbitrary ratings, China, Cuba, Dr. Earl Wickenburg, happiness, Hugo Chavez, impoverished third-world hellhole, Iran, Kim Jong-il, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, North Korea, places that suck, so happy, So Ronery, statistics, tyranny, United States of America, Venezuela | Leave a comment

Unrepentant Gaddafi Holds Out Until The Last

Posted on March 4, 2011 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula Colonel Muammar al-Gaddafi is turning heads around the globe. Consigned to certain defeat just a week ago, the plucky tyrant is holding out, and in some places regaining ground lost to rebel forces. The sun-baked despot is thought … Continue reading →

Posted in Crime, History, Politics | Tagged Barack Obama, despots, Front 242, Funkahdafi, Ivory Coast, Libya, Muammar al-Gaddafi, North Korea, places that suck, President Obama, revolution, United Nations, unrepentant | Leave a comment

Stand Tall, Mississippi!

Posted on February 11, 2011 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula Although impoverished third-world hellhole North Korea and impoverished first-world hellhole Mississippi are roughly the same size, have similar literacy rates and offer an almost identical standard of living, the Southern US state has an edge over the isolated … Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrity, Culture | Tagged bigotry, despotism, Elvis Aaron Presley, embarrassing historical record, impoverished first-world hellhole, impoverished third-world hellhole, inbreeding, intolerance, ladyparts, Mississippi, Mississippi > North Korea, North Korea, places that suck, Pyongyang, slavery, The South, theocratic cultural backwaters, Uncle-Daddy, William Faulkner, you can't tell us that 'Pyongyang' doesn't sound like a filthy word to you | Leave a comment

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Tag Archives: North Korea

Return Of Not What You Were Looking For?

Promethean Times’ 2011 Person Of The Year: Us Again

North Korea Fires On Santa’s Sleigh

‘Lil Kim Adjusting To New Life In Witness Relocation Program

Interstate Port-O-Potty

Let’s Try Hating Someone New

North Korea: Crazy For The Orympics

Third-World Hellholes More Fun Than Disneyland

Unrepentant Gaddafi Holds Out Until The Last

Stand Tall, Mississippi!

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