Tag Archives: People Magazine

Promethean Times’ 2010 Person Of The Year: Us

Posted on December 31, 2010 by tardsie

By Promethean Times Conventional wisdom warns that TIME‘s annual Person of the Year award is so iconic as to render superfluous any imitations. However, as it has so many times before, Promethean Times eschews the expected by boldly forging a … Continue reading →

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Posted in Celebrity, Cinema, Crime, Culture, History, News, Politics, Religion, Sport | Tagged 'Lil Kim, 2010, 2011, Abner Doubleday should sue the hell out of the guy who 'invented' cricket, Africa, American soldiers, Axis of Evil, Barack Obama, bellicose shenanigans, Bernie Madoff, BP, Bradley Manning, Bush the intellectuable, Chief Executive, comical despots, Conan O'Brien, congress, conventional wisdom, copyright infringement, corporate douchebaggery, cricket, Democratic Party, effete Mac users, Elizabeth Edwards, Face & Boobs man, feel-good policies, figurative fellatio, Franklin Pierce, Fugeeman, games foreigners play, genocide, George W. Bush, GOP, Haiti, Haitian Crisis, Haitian Earthquake, Hitler of Major League Baseball, How very original!, hucksterism, impoverished third-world hellhole, Iran, Jay Leno, John Edwards, Julian Assange, Kim Jong-il is batshit crazy, leeches, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is batshit crazy, Martha Stewart Living, Michael Lohan, MiLo, Miss You Mom, modern classics, Mood the Dude, mullets, Nanci Pelosi, nanny state, North Korea, Osama bin Laden, Osama's crazed legions, Pat Robertson, Pat Robertson is batshit crazy, People Magazine, personal magnetism, Pierce was known more for drink than for effective leadership, poor Elizabeth Edwards--she was so brave and she suffered so much, popular culture, President Bush, President Obama, Promethean Times, Promethean Times' Person of the Year, religious right, Republican Party, retcons, rumor has it that the vote for Person of the Year was fixed, San Francisco Giants, San Mateo, Sarah Palin, Smaktakula's hatred of the San Francisco Giants, special-needs children, Spiro Agnew, Sports Illustrated, step your game up, Steve Jobs, Tea Party, terrifying Campfire Girl, Texas Rangers, the canonization of St. Elizabeth, the cult-like devotion accorded to Steve Jobs by effete Mac users, the Devil, the impotence of the UN, the increasing irrelevance of TIME, the UN's maddening inaction in the face of genocide, theogeologist, Tim Lincecum, Time, TIME allows pedestrian intellects to believe they are otherwise, TIME's Person of the Year, Tony Hayward, tradition, Transformers I and II, treachery, UN, United Nations, United States of America, WikiLeaks, Wyclef Jean, yes theogeologist is another coinage but like grammaverick you've gotta admit it kicks ass | Leave a comment

Jenny McCarthy: All Growed Up

Posted on October 22, 2010 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula MILFy autism activist Jenny McCarthy is growing as a person. After her five-year relationship with tiresome Canadian import Jim Carrey ended, McCarthy found a new love and a new way of looking at life. By her own admission, McCarthy has spent … Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrity, Culture, Stupidity | Tagged autism, B-Lister, celebrity breakups, celebrity/statesman, Chinese food and Chinese people not always the same thing, Dancing With The Stars, has-been, In fairness we should add that Ms. McCarthy is a high school graduate, Jenny McCarthy, Jim Carrey, MILFs, People Magazine, stupid people, untalented stars | Leave a comment

The Skonk

Posted on August 23, 2010 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula In preparation for our upcoming multi-part investigative series on modern whoredom, Skanks In The Crosshairs, the Promethean Times Research Staff spent hundreds of man-hours reading tabloids, clipping articles from old issues of People Magazine we’d liberated from dentists’ offices, and … Continue reading →

Posted in Cinema, Culture, General Foolishness, Health, Hollywood, People, Political Correctness, Reality Television, Relationships, Scandal, Television | Tagged Abraham Lincoln, Adolf Hitler, Albert Einstein, Barack Obama, Big Bird, Bill Clinton, Bill O'Reilly, Bush 41, Bush 43, Colin Farrell, crabs, David Letterman, Eddie Murphy, Elmo, FDR, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Fred, George Herbert Walker Bush, George W. Bush, herpes, heterosexuality, homosexuality, J. Robert Oppenheimer, jackassery, James Bond, John F. Kennedy, John Lennon, Johnny Depp, Karl Marx, Keith Richards, man-skanks, man-whores, Mick Jagger, misconceptions regarding skanks, Mohandas Gandhi, Morrissey, Napoleon Bonaparte, Pat Sajak, Paul McCartney, People Magazine, Richard M. Nixon, Russell Crowe, Sherlock Holmes, skankery, skanks, Skanks in the Crosshairs, skonk, skonkery, skonks, Slick Willy, STDs, Stephen Morrissey, tabloids, Thomas Jefferson, W, whoredom, William Henry Harrison, William Jefferson Clinton, William McKinley, Woodrow Wilson, Woody Allen, you got a real purty mouth | 4 Comments

Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy Split

Posted on March 15, 2010 by Smaktakula

According to People, it’s true. If Haim & Feldman were Gen X’s unrecognized Hope & Crosby, then perhaps the union of Hewitt and Kennedy produced Generation Y’s Tracy and Hepburn. Hopefully fans’ grief will be mitigated somewhat the knowledge that while this … Continue reading →

Posted in Hollywood, Movies, People, Relationships, Television | Tagged Bing Crosby, Bob Hope, celebrity breakups, Corey Feldman, Corey Haim, Fel-Dog, Haimster, Hollywood breakups, Jamie Kennedy, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Katherine Hepburn, obscure celebrities, People Magazine, Spencer Tracy | Leave a comment

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Tag Archives: People Magazine

Promethean Times’ 2010 Person Of The Year: Us

Jenny McCarthy: All Growed Up

The Skonk

Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy Split

LIKE Promethean Times on Facebook!

Subscribe to Promethean Times!

The Best Of Times

Dumb Stuff We Say On Twitter:

Recent Times

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