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Tag Archives: playing the lottery as an investment
You’re Stupid. So’s Your Kid.
By Smaktakula It turns out that your baby may not be able to read after all. The tiresome do-gooders at the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood have found a new way to make the world just the teensiest bit safer: by highlighting … Continue reading →
The Prodigal Grandchild
By Smaktakula We understand. Your lust for easy credit, malt liquor and Scratch ‘Em tickets has left you and your family in a not-inconsiderable financial bind. Naturally, your first inclination is to recoup the money by selling some of your … Continue reading →
Posted in Culture
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Tagged Bob Saget, Lottery tickets, playing the lottery as an investment, malt liquor, Grandma, ungrateful children
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5 Comments
Preservin’ That Hillbilly Heritage
By Smaktakula We totally get it. You’re damn proud of your white trash pedigree, and want to pass that culture on to the young’uns. Originally confined to the South and most parts of Indiana, the White Trash Diaspora (WTD) has … Continue reading →
Posted in Culture, Stupidity
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Tagged America's Funniest Home Videos, Arby's KFC, bad parents, Canada, denim diapers, do-nothings, fauxhawks, hillbillies, Hometown Trough, Indiana, methamphetamine, mullets, No Fear, places that suck, playing the lottery as an investment, professional wrestling, rednecks, Tapout, Two and a Half Men, United States of America, white trash, White Trash Diaspora, WTD, you got a real purty mouth
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15 Comments
Headlines 02.09.12
By Smaktakula We respond to today’s headlines without first reading the stories! Parenting After Penn State: Can We Trust Coaches with Our Kids? ~ As much as we ever could. Today: Woman gives birth on N.J. train ~ As it happens, the … Continue reading →
Posted in Celebrity, Crime, Culture, Entertainment, Politics, Science, Sport, Stupidity
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Tagged arson, bad parents, creepy, dolphins, drunken Native Americans, ethnic pandering, headlines, Jack Daniels, Jamie Lynn Spears, khat, Latinos, Los Angeles, Mitt Romney, Mogadishu, Native Americans, New Jersey, New York Giants, Newt Gingrich, Penn St., places that suck, playing the lottery as an investment, Rick Santorum, ShamWow!, ShamWow! Vince, Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French, Somalia, Survivor, the French, the French people's love of stinky things, ugly people, US Navy, Why am I so fat?
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6 Comments
Smaktakula Is Super-Freaking Rich
By Tardsie Smaktakula announced at a press conference today that he is “Super-freaking rich” and that he is now “finally living the life I deserve.” He punctuated this with, “Who’s laughing now, bitches?”, which he followed up with “Nobody, that’s … Continue reading →
Posted in Celebrity, Stupidity
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Tagged Africa, African strongmen, Chad, Croesus, delusion, gazillionaires, greed, ignorance, Lottery tickets, Nigeria, Nigerian email scam, pimp-cup, playing the lottery as an investment, poor math skills, Promethean Times, Scrooge McDuck, self-deception, Smaktakula, We trust Wikipedia as far as we can throw it, wealth, Wikipedia
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2 Comments
Your Permanent Record: A Really Big Deal
By Smaktakula So much in life can hinge upon a single decision. Once made, some choices come with attendant consequences which are difficult to foresee, but which can exert profound effects upon the whole of a person’s life. These may … Continue reading →
Posted in Celebrity, Culture
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Tagged Bill Gates, Bill Gates as an object of pity, Burma Shave, choices, dropouts, dumb kids and the dumb things they do to fuck up their lives, foolish choices, Hooters girls, losers, Lottery tickets, permanent record, playing the lottery as an investment, poor impulse control, torching apartment complexes, winners
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