Tag Archives: Republicans

Headlines: The Snake That Grows When You Stroke It

Posted on August 20, 2012 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula In which our interests lie in the headlines, but not the stories themselves. *** After 400 Pound Weight Loss, Man Gains the Weight Back ~ But you know what?–He’s a bigger man for it. Rage Against the Machine Rages Against … Continue reading →

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Posted in Celebrity, Culture, News | Tagged AIDS, Amtrak, anal bleach, Andorra, Australians, bad cops, Barack Obama, childish sexual innuendo, dope, Ecuador, foot-licking, George W. Bush, GOP, grass, great white shark, headlines, hemp, hipsters, Julian Assange, Las Vegas, Mexico, nerds, penis snake, Peter Jackson, pot, Pussy Riot, racism, reefer, Republicans, Seattle, Smaktakula's distrust of short people, sweet sweet cheeba, weed, WNBA | 27 Comments

Best of Headlines Part I

Posted on July 30, 2012 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula Howdy, folks. Headlines has always been one of our favorite Promethean Times features, and recently it seems to have picked up popularity with our readers. This wasn’t always the case. It might surprise you to know we’ve done … Continue reading →

Posted in Culture, News, Politics, Science, Sport, Stupidity | Tagged American Civil War, Arkansas, childish sexual innuendo, drugs, fun with stereotypes, gay people, headlines, hookers, India, Japan, Lady Gaga, Latinos, Leonardo DiCaprio, LiLo, Lindsay Lohan, Los Angeles, nudists, perverts, Republicans, Smaktakula is aware that 'penises' is the accepted plural but if it's good enough for Steinbeck it's good enough for you, Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French, Somalia, STDs, the French, Uranus, US Navy, Yoko Ono, you got a real purty mouth | 29 Comments

Why ‘Your’ Politician Is A Turd

Posted on July 17, 2012 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula Although Promethean Times tends to regard all office-seekers as suppurating anal abscesses until they can demonstrably prove otherwise, we are constantly amazed that so few people feel the same. Now, nearly EVERYBODY claims they hold politicians in contempt–complaining about the government … Continue reading →

Posted in Culture | Tagged Barack Obama, Democrats, don't vote stupid, dope, grass, hypocrisy, marijuana, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, politicians, pot, Republicans, sweet sweet cheeba, the reefer, thinkin' 'bout stuff makes my head hurt somethin' turrible, United States of America, weed, Why am I so stupid? | 44 Comments

Whose Pro-Life Is It, Anyway?

Posted on May 27, 2012 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula In so many instances an American’s political allegiance boils down to his or her opinions on abortion. It makes a certain sense for someone who feels strongly enough about a single issue to be attracted to the political … Continue reading →

Posted in Culture, News, Science, Stupidity | Tagged abortion, Anti-Choice, clinics, Democrats, evil bigots, fetus, ideological fuzziness, intellectual cowardice, irritating, NOW, Pro Semi-Life, Pro-Abortion, Pro-Choice, Pro-Life, protesters, reproductive freedom, Republicans, sanctity of life, Semi Pro-Life, strident, tame that beast!, Terrorism, women's issues, women's rights | 9 Comments

Promethean Times Endorses Newt Gingrich

Posted on January 31, 2012 by Smaktakula

Promethean Times Editorial Staff It just wouldn’t be an election cycle without some earnest gasbag telling you that this election is the most important in our lifetimes. This platitude becomes especially poignant in 2012–the most important election of our lifetimes. … Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrity, Culture, News, Politics | Tagged ambition, bad decisions, cruelty, douchebaggery, GOP, Great Depression, Newt Gingrich, political endorsements, Republicans, ridiculous nicknames, short memory, United States of America, venality, Washington Insider, Washington Outsider | 7 Comments

Promethean Times’ 2011 Person Of The Year: Us Again

Posted on December 30, 2011 by Smaktakula

By The Promethean Times Editorial Staff We’ll admit it–we didn’t think it would come to this. We figured we’d be rich by now, or at the very least the Rapture would have freed us from our myriad woes. Since it … Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrity, Crime, Culture, Entertainment, History, News, Politics, Religion | Tagged 'Lil Kim, 1492, 2010, 2011, 2012, Afghanistan, Amy Winehouse, Arab Spring, Armenian Genocide, Arnold Schwarzenegger, arson, Barack Obama, California, Celebrity Death Watch, Charlie Sheen, Cleveland, Code Pink, Democratic Republic of Congo, Democrats, Diana Spencer, Dirk Nowitzki, dumb kids and the dumb things they do to fuck up their lives, ennui, Fidel Castro, Flower of American Skankhood, Gabby Giffords, gay people, Jani Lane, John Boehner, Julius Malema, Kate Middleton, Kim Jong-il, Kim Jong-un, Kim Kardashian, LeBron James, Leslie Nielsen, Lewis County, Libya, LiLo, Lindsay Lohan, Mayans, Muammar al-Gaddafi, muslims, Nancy Pelosi, narcos, North Korea, Oakland, Occupy, Osama bin Laden, places that suck, Prince William, prognostication, Promethean Times' Person of the Year, puppy-killing, Randy 'Macho Man' Savage, Rapture, Republicans, Robert Mugabe, San Francisco, self-promotion so shameless that it borders on hucksterism, Smaktakula is aware that 'penises' is the accepted plural but if it's good enough for Steinbeck it's good enough for us, Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French, Smaktakula's vendetta against Lewis County, South Africa, Steve Jobs, Tea Party, the cult-like devotion accorded to Steve Jobs by effete Mac users, the French, the West, United States of America, Washington State, Zimbabwe | Leave a comment

The Donald To Moderate Republican Debate

Posted on December 5, 2011 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula For those who’ve yet to take their fill of those innumerable, thrill-a-minute Republican debates, comes the exciting news that Donald Trump will be moderating the December 27th affair.

Posted in Celebrity, News, Politics | Tagged class, debates, Donald Trump, Republicans, the Donald, unctuous pimp, vulgarity | Leave a comment

Headlines 10.07.11

Posted on October 7, 2011 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula In which we opine on the latest headlines, without bothering to first read the stories. *** Seoul to Introduce Female-Only Subway Cars Korean perverts to introduce hidden cameras to female-only subway cars. Early Adversity, Adult Misery: How Small … Continue reading →

Posted in Crime, Culture, History, News, Politics | Tagged Africa, African famine, Ashton Kutcher, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Budweiser, butterface, death by drowning, debt crisis, Democrats, Europe, great white shark, headlines, hos, Indiana, living in a van down by the river, Matt Foley, Mississippi, online dating, perverts, pizza, Poltergeist, prostitution, Republicans, reset button, skunky beer, Somalia, South Korea, Tanzania, tapeworms, TV for idiots, Two and a Half Men, United States of America, vegans, Vermont, White House, you're welcome | Leave a comment

Jabba The Hutt Mulls Republican Bid

Posted on September 29, 2011 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula Republicans are giddy with the rumors that famed intergalactic crimelord Jabba the Hutt is mulling a bid for their party’s nomination. Although the gelatinous gangster denies the rumors, supporters say that Jabba’s no-nonsense approach to fiscal policy, proven … Continue reading →

Posted in Culture, News, Politics | Tagged Donald Trump, Elena Kagan, GOP, Gov. Chris Christie, Jabba the Hutt, Republicans, Salacious Crumb, Smaktakula's hypocrisy can sometimes be astounding, the Donald, Why am I so fat? | 2 Comments

OC Republicans Take Racism To New Low

Posted on April 18, 2011 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula Just when America thinks it has a handle on its deep-seated racism, something comes along to stir the flames. Marilyn Davenport, a member of the Orange County Republican Committee, recently circulated an email with a picture of President … Continue reading →

Posted in News, Politics, Stupidity | Tagged Barack Obama, California, double standards, George W. Bush, GOP, hypersensitivity, hypocrisy, imaginary racism, Klansmen, opossums, Orange County, racism, Republican Party, Republicans, Sarah Palin, sexism | 3 Comments

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Tag Archives: Republicans

Headlines: The Snake That Grows When You Stroke It

Best of Headlines Part I

Why ‘Your’ Politician Is A Turd

Whose Pro-Life Is It, Anyway?

Promethean Times Endorses Newt Gingrich

Promethean Times’ 2011 Person Of The Year: Us Again

The Donald To Moderate Republican Debate

Headlines 10.07.11

Jabba The Hutt Mulls Republican Bid

OC Republicans Take Racism To New Low

LIKE Promethean Times on Facebook!

Subscribe to Promethean Times!

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Dumb Stuff We Say On Twitter:

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