Tag Archives: skanks

Heroic Teachers Gone Wild vs. Prudery

Posted on May 15, 2012 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula As if further evidence were needed of the alarming rise in anti-skank sentiment across the globe, more proof comes in the form of a 2009 tragedy in suburban Brooklyn. Two young women, exemplary educators by all accounts, were publicly … Continue reading →

Posted in Crime, Culture, News | Tagged childish sexual innuendo, New York, skanks, treachery, teachers, skankery, skankism, lesbians, Skanks in the Crosshairs, Girls Gone Wild, anti-skank bigotry, prudery, lipstick lesbians, Vidkun Quisling, Benedict Arnold, Van Halen, Hot for Teacher, teachers gone wild, inappropriate activity, girl-on-girl action, utopian futures, Brooklyn, crusty old school board, James Madison High School, Alini Brito, French teachers, Spanish teachers, one more reason to hate the high school janitor, janitors, evil high school janitors, the janitor knows all your secrets, international language, Penthouse Forum, snitches, tattle-tales, Allison Musacchio, Horndog High, Steve Bartman, Hi Mrs. Peterson!, Cindy Mauro, Judas Iscariot | 7 Comments

Headlines XIV

Posted on March 6, 2012 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula In which we opine upon the headlines of the day without first reading the articles. *** Megadeth’s Dave Mustaine backs Rick Santorum ~ See Kids? A bacchanalian life of drug-fueled debauchery is not without its consequences. Although the pernicious effects of addiction … Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrity, Cinema, Culture, Entertainment, Music, News, Politics, Stupidity | Tagged 1906 San Francisco Earthquake, boobs, breastuses, Celebrity Death Watch, date rape, Dave Mustaine, death by old age, divorce, Does Nature Want You Dead? Yes It Does., Drew Barrymore, drugs, dyslexia, Eddie Murphy, fat people, France, has-beens, headlines, heroin, hos, Lady Gaga, LiLo, Lindsay Lohan, little people, LSD, Lybia, lycergic acid diethylamide. LSD not LDS which is something very different, Megadeth, moobs, poor judgement, pop biology, prostitution, Rick Santorum, Shakira, short people, skanks, Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French, Smaktakula's distrust of short people, stalkers, Star Trek, sweet lady meg, the French, Trekkies, trippin' balls, TSA, Where Are They Now?, Why am I so fat?, Why am I so lonely?, Why am I so stupid?, women of easy virtue | 11 Comments

An Ode To Snooki

Posted on February 23, 2012 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi’s time in the spotlight must soon come to an end. Her fifteen minutes of infamy draws inevitably to a close, as the public’s short attention span casts an obscuring shadow over the stars of yesteryear, … Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrity, Culture, Entertainment, Stupidity | Tagged famous for nothing, herpes, Jersey Shore, Nicole Polizzi, Oompa-Loompas, skanks, Snooki, unlike your 15 minutes of fame herpes lasts forever, untalented stars, Valtrex, what IS the singular of Cheetos?, white trash | 10 Comments

Keep That Kidney To Yourself, Whore!

Posted on February 20, 2012 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula It’s easy to forget the impact that organ transplants have had on society. Medical science has advanced to such a degree that it now seems routine to cut the organs from a dying man or woman and transplant … Continue reading →

Posted in News, Science | Tagged CDC, Centers for Disease Control, harlots, hooker with the heart of gold, hussies, organ donors, prostitution, Ron Jeremy, skanks, skonks, sluts, STDs are no laughing matter!, tramps, transplants, women of easy virtue | 7 Comments

A Modern Zen Koan: Reality Skanks

Posted on February 1, 2012 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula The koan has been an essential part of the Buddhist arsenal for about fifteen centuries. These philosophical questions, the answers to which can only be reached by non-rational thinking–if at all, are designed not to test knowledge, but … Continue reading →

Posted in Culture, Entertainment | Tagged 16 and Pregnant, Amber Portwood, Buddhism, celebriskanks, choking the chicken, devil's handshake, famous for nothing, flogging the dolphin, Leah Messer, masturbation, metaphysics, philosophy, scratching the weasel behind the ears, skanks, Teen Mom, the Clapper, the sound of one hand clapping, Zen koan | 2 Comments

Stupid People: Way More Fun Than TV

Posted on January 6, 2012 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula Today, almost anyone can get himself arrested. It doesn’t take style, flair or even imagination–with 1% of the US population behind bars, it’s easy to see that getting busted in America is pretty routine. It’s not surprising then, … Continue reading →

Posted in Crime, Culture, News, Stupidity | Tagged bikini area, Bush, Cudjoe Key, death by Smurf, Deep South, douchebaggery, drunken Irishmen, Erica Wilson, floozies, Florida, fucking idiots, Galway, Galwegians, Guinness, incarceration, incest, Jameson, Jesse Brooks, Megan Barnes, morons, Papa Smurf, Portrush, Rogersville, Rosslare Harbour, skankery, skanks, Smurf cum, stupid people, Tennessee, Why am I so crazy?, Why am I so stupid?, you got a real purty mouth | 2 Comments

A Reese’s Nastybutter Cup

Posted on November 10, 2011 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula The tramp stamp and the muffin top–two less-than-fresh tastes that most certainly do NOT go great together.

Posted in Culture, Stupidity | Tagged back boobs, hos, hussies, Isn't anybody going to say something?, muffin top, Reese's, skanks, tramp stamps, tramps, waddling grotesquery, Why am I so fat? | 4 Comments

Raping Justin Bieber

Posted on November 4, 2011 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula I can prove to you that rape is funny. Picture Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd. George Carlin By her own admission, Mariah Yeater is a predator. She has repeatedly boasted to anyone who will listen about the events of … Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrity, Crime, Entertainment, News | Tagged Beliebers, Elmer Fudd, Elmer was asking for it, George Carlin, gold digger, hairless hit factory, hussies, Justin Bieber, Mariah Yeater, Michael Jackson, outright lies, paternity tests, Porky Pig, rape, San Diego, skanks | Leave a comment

LiLo’s Got The Meth Mouth

Posted on October 18, 2011 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula True? False? That’s what the gossip sites are reporting, anyway. More accurately, they’re claiming that the self-destructing former starlet and Flower of American Skankhood has a mouth full of rotting teeth, from which Promethean Times irresponsibly infers that … Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrity, Crime, Culture, Entertainment, News | Tagged Celebrity Death Watch, Deep Throat, Flower of American Skankhood, irresponsible allegations, LiLo, Lindsay Lohan, meth, meth mouth, methamphetamine, rotting teeth, skanks, you got a real purty mouth | 1 Comment

Things We Think About: Time Travel (Again)

Posted on September 1, 2011 by Smaktakula

By Smaktakula Promethean Times has previously weighed in on some hitherto unexplored aspects of time-travel theory, but the highly theoretical field remains open to examination. For example, another cool thing to do with a time-travel machine would be to go … Continue reading →

Posted in History, Science | Tagged academicians, dick in a box, hussies, KISS, musicians, one-hit wonders, professors, promiscuity, rock stars, skanks, tenure, Things we think about, time travel | Leave a comment

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Tag Archives: skanks

Heroic Teachers Gone Wild vs. Prudery

Headlines XIV

An Ode To Snooki

Keep That Kidney To Yourself, Whore!

A Modern Zen Koan: Reality Skanks

Stupid People: Way More Fun Than TV

A Reese’s Nastybutter Cup

Raping Justin Bieber

LiLo’s Got The Meth Mouth

Things We Think About: Time Travel (Again)

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Subscribe to Promethean Times!

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