Tag Archives: Tardsie’s True-Ass Tales

The Aging Gunslinger

By Tardsie I drank a lot when I was younger. Too much, I guess. I enjoyed the consciousness-altering aspect of  booze, and for a while, there was a novelty to getting fucked-up. When, as is the nature of novelty, it … Continue reading

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Posted in Stupidity, True-Ass Tales | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Hungarian Fone Kard

By Tardsie In which we are told we can have anything we want.* *Certain conditions may apply.

Posted in History, True-Ass Tales | Tagged , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

I’m An Ass, And I’m Sorry

By Tardsie Man, you have no idea how many times I find myself saying or thinking that. Have a great weekend, folks!

Posted in Philosophy, True-Ass Tales | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

The Saddest Girl I Ever Knew

By Tardsie I met a girl named Heather once at a party many years ago, back when I was single.  High summer had come to Western Washington: long, pleasant days  finally ushered into night by an extended twilight. Barbecuing weather. … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, Philosophy, True-Ass Tales | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

The Evangelical Victory Association

By Tardsie Many years ago, I remarked to my then-girlfriend Eva how awesome it would be to be the leader of a bizarre cult. Being a profoundly lazy man, I’ve always envied the life of leisure such a vocation would … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, Philosophy, Religion, True-Ass Tales | Tagged , , , , , | 31 Comments

Oh, The People You’ll Meet…In Juvie

By Tardsie When I was seventeen I did something that earned me thirty days in Remann Hall, a juvenile detention facility in Tacoma, Washington. It was pretty serious, and I was lucky in the end to just get the thirty … Continue reading

Posted in Philosophy, Stupidity, True-Ass Tales | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

Overheard In The Bathroom At An Erasure Concert

By Tardsie Several years ago I was at an Erasure concert in Southern California. After the opening act, a painfully unfunny set by comedienne Margaret Cho which mainly consisted of mocking her immigrant mother’s English¹, I headed to the bathroom … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrity, Culture, Entertainment, Music, True-Ass Tales | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 37 Comments

A Boy Named Strudel

By Tardsie Let’s remember that name-calling hurts.

Posted in True-Ass Tales | Tagged , , , , , , | 26 Comments

Gentleman’s Clubs: One Night In Scranton

By Tardsie Part II in our hard-hitting series on Gentleman’s Clubs. Be sure to check out Part I: De-Billed and Unfulfilled. This One Has It All! Kids Possibly Getting Hurt Off-Camera! West Coast Chauvinism! Bad Singing!

Posted in True-Ass Tales | Tagged , , , , | 22 Comments

For The Love Of Larry Wilcox

By Tardsie I’ve told you before about my friend Steve, a guy I met in college. Steve is a nice guy, but back in our school days there was something about him, some weird quirk in his personality that went … Continue reading

Posted in True-Ass Tales | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 35 Comments