Tag Archives: that trick never works

This Day In History: June 4, 1989 CE

On which the Chinese government uses a very public forum to reiterate its traditionally dim view of free speech. Try not to worry; it can’t happen here. Again, we mean. ∞ T. *** About these ads

About these ads
Posted in History, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Robertson To Marijuana Advocates: “Your Move, Dirtbags!”

By Smaktakula Only a few days ago, it would have been hard to blame filthy hippies for getting all giddy over the possible legalization of marijuana. Cannabis, the decriminalization of which had seemed until recently to be largely inevitable, may … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrity, News, Politics, Religion | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

TripoliWatch 2011: Is This Show Still On?

By Smaktakula When oil-rich backwater Libya was caught up in the so-called ‘Arab Spring’ in late February, it seemed only a matter of time before unrepentant dickhead Muammar al-Gaddafi would be deposed and shortly thereafter executed, his leathery carcass cast … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, History, News, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hugh Hefner: Why Is Grandpa Crying?

By Smaktakula Cartoonish anachronism Hugh Hefner is no doubt devastated after being left at the altar.  His former fiance, the twenty-five-year-old strumpet Crystal Harris, seems to have come to her senses at the last minute, announcing Tuesday that she would … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrity, Culture, News, Stupidity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This Day In History: June 18, 1815 CE

On which the French and English clash in Belgium, with Napoleon Bonaparte’s forces smashing into British lines at Hougoumont in what he hopes will prove the Duke of Wellington’s own personal Waterloo.  *It should be noted that the historical community has … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, History | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Irony, As Expressed Through The 2011 NBA Championship

By Tardsie It is almost-but-not-quite ironic that the term Schadenfreude is a German coinage.

Posted in Celebrity, News, Sport | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Smaktakula Returns ‘For Love Of Promethean Times’

By Tardsie Smaktakula’s legion of slavishly devoted fans, groupies and stalkers will be delighted to know that Promethean Times’ head writer has reconsidered his decision to retire from journalism to pursue a life of boundless hedonism and degenerate self-gratification.  Regarding … Continue reading

Posted in Stupidity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Many Surprised By Abrupt Expiration Date On Rapture Humor

By Smaktakula Would-be funnymen across the United States and Canada were disheartened this morning to find their Rapture jokes completely depleted of humor.  Many people had come to their places of work Tuesday morning armed with hilarious Armageddon material cribbed from late … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, News, Religion, Stupidity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This Day In History April 25, 1915 CE

On which Allied forces begin the assault on the Gallipoli Peninsula which First Lord of the Admiralty, Winston Churchill, believes will knock Turkey from the war and lay bare the soft underbelly of the Central Powers. The campaign was such … Continue reading

Posted in History, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

One-Legged Hag Refuses To Let Senility Destroy Her Dreams Of Second-Time Motherhood

By Smaktakula Creepy gold-digger Frédèric Prinz von Anhalt announced recently that his wife, superannuated entertainment oddity Zsa Zsa Gabor, would like to have another child at 94.  Anhalt has reportedly spent $100,000 for the procedure. Gabor, most famous for slapping … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrity, Cinema, News, Stupidity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment