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Tag Archives: the Almighty
The Lord Not Quite Ready To Forgive Germany
By Smaktakula Back in the early 1990s, it seemed like German tourists in America couldn’t catch a break. It’s hard to forget the spate of Miami slayings that had America’s German community on edge, and which prompted this publication to … Continue reading
Posted in Culture, History, News
Tagged 1972, anti-Kraut, anti-semitism, Belgium, dead German tourists, Final Solution, Florida, for reals we love the Germans, Germany, Germany's dark history, God, God hates the Germans, Holocaust, Jews, Krauts, Miami, Munich Olympics, the Almighty, United States of America
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Nothing Good Comes From Touching Yourself
By Smaktakula Smaktakula’s long-ago Sunday school teacher was on to something–masturbation is a quick road to ruin. A San Francisco man is fighting for his life after discovering the heartbreaking realities of the devil’s handshake. The unidentified man apparently burst … Continue reading
Posted in News, Religion
Tagged 'self-abuse' isn't the same thing as 'cutting', choking the chicken, devil's handshake, Dixieland Jazz, Emil Haagerdäddi, flogging the dolphin, Genesis, God, Hurricane Katrina, jerking off, masturbation, Onan, onanism, porn, pr0n, San Francisco, scratching the weasel behind the ears, self-abuse, self-immolation, Sunday school, the Almighty
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Helpful Hints: Judgement Day
By Smaktakula When upon death your immortal soul is held in balance as you stand before the Almighty, it might be fun to say: Who are you to play God, anyway? Oh, right! My bad. He’ll probably get a big … Continue reading
Posted in Religion
Tagged afterlife, death, God, Heaven, Hell, helpful hints, Judgement Day, punishment, revenge, the Almighty, the Devil, wrath of God
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Happy Thoughts For Friday: Dee-Vine Justice
By Smaktakula When notoriously unfriendly douchebag Reverend Fred Phelps finally shuffles off this mortal coil and meets the Almighty, wouldn’t it be super if He looked like this? Hey now, Sugartits–you ever play a game called ‘Where’s the serpent?’
Posted in Religion
Tagged Divine Justice, douchebaggery, even Jesus thinks Fred Phelps sucks, God, God Hates Fags, happy thoughts, homophobia, judge not lest ye be judged, Judgement Day, religious intolerance, retribution, Reverend Fred Phelps, Sugartits, that asshole who demonstrates at the funerals of soldiers, the Almighty, Westboro Baptist Church
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Does God Exist?
By Smaktakula Such a fundamentally contentious issue as the existence of a higher power, despite that the question must be answerable by either a yes or no, is too complex to answer neatly in a few short paragraphs, and frankly, … Continue reading
Posted in Culture, Religion
Tagged burning bush, cultural cockroach, God, gold digger, higher power, I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?, John Lennon, Lolcats, Lotrimin, Mark David Chapman, meal ticket, performance artists, proving the existence of God, the Almighty, the woman who destroyed the Beatles, Tokyo, untalented stars, Why God? Why?, Yoko Ono
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