Tag Archives: tiresome anachronism

Burt Reynolds Prepares For Recurring Role As Filthy Homeless Person

Posted on August 19, 2011 by

By Smaktakula Mustachioed 70s fixture Burt Reynolds claims to be surprised to find that his Florida mansion is in foreclosure,  despite not having made a mortgage payment since September of last year.  Times are lean for the toupee-abusing former icon of … Continue reading →

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Hefner’s Antics Now More Creepy Than Cute

Posted on December 30, 2010 by

By Smaktakula Hugh Hefner, the decrepit, Viagra-gobbling relic of the Sexual Revolution, recently proposed to Crystal Harris, Playboy‘s Miss December 2009.  Hefner, old enough to remember the Great Depression, announced his engagement to the twenty-four-year-old Harris via a Christmas Eve tweet. … Continue reading →

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A Great New Way To Make Mom And Dad Pay For What They Did

Posted on August 13, 2010 by

By Smaktakula Why not get inked by tiresome former celebrity and citizen of Clan Arquette, David A. Cox?    Well, you know what, Mom?  Maybe if you’d bought me Red Power Ranger with the light-up eyes and collectible key chain for Christmas 1999 like I asked you … Continue reading →

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Kurt Cobain’s Spirit Exacts A Slow And Terrible Vengeance On Courtney Love

Posted on June 29, 2010 by

Courtney Love just can’t stop embarassing herself. Continue reading →

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The Canonical Pauly Shore

Posted on June 23, 2010 by

Paul Montgomery Shore, better known as Pauly, came along at a time when America needed him most. In the early to mid 1990′s, this twitchy, bedraggled gypsy fit neatly into the pop culture void created by the absence of the two Coreys, but which had yet to be filled by the testosterone-fueled fury of Vin Diesel. Continue reading →

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