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Tag Archives: true meanings of holidays
What’s So Good About It?
By Smaktakula What’s that? Yeah, probably–but we’ll see you there. ∞T.
Posted in Religion
Tagged Easter Bunny, Good Friday, our immortal souls are forfeit, true meanings of holidays
12 Comments
St. Paddy’s Day!
Promethean Times wishes you and your family a sober and dignified St. Patrick’s Day observance. *** As my mother wept it was then I swore to take my life as I would a whore I know I’m better than before … Continue reading
Posted in Culture
Tagged drunken Irishmen, inebriate, Pogues, St. Patrick's Day, true meanings of holidays, vomit
5 Comments
Ass Wednesday: A Holiday Of Your Very Own
By Smaktakula We Americans are justly proud of our ignorance. Along with obesity and braggadocio, having our heads up our asses is the trait for which we are best known around the globe. Regardless whether you count yourself among these … Continue reading
Valentine’s Day: Embrace The Heartache
By Smaktakula Except for malodorous, house-bound misanthropes, no one wants to be alone. Humans are social creatures who seek comfort in the company of their fellows. Romantic love is particularly cherished, with lonely hearts sinking billions into online matchmaking services … Continue reading
It’s Groundhog Day!
By Smaktakula On which, not unlike our superstitious, cave-dwelling, moon-worshipping ancestors, we seek guidance on the mysteries of nature from a hyperthyroid rat named Punxsutawney Phil. Legend has it that if Phil sees his own shadow on February 2, you’ll … Continue reading
Celebrating Friday The 13th
By Smaktakula Spare some time from your busy schedule today to reflect upon the true meaning of Friday the 13th, on which the vengeful spirit of Jason Voorhees crawls from its unquiet grave to once again walk the earth, dismembering … Continue reading
The KISS Army: America’s Forgotten Veterans
By Smaktakula In the years since the cacophonous guns of the Western Front fell silent on November 11th, 1918, ending the ‘War to End All Wars,’* humanity has sought to mark this anniversary by paying tribute to the men and women … Continue reading
Posted in Culture, History
Tagged 1918, Abraham Lincoln, Armistice Day, coast guard, Don't Ask Don't Tell, Fallujah, Grand Rapids, KISS, KISS Army, Marines, Mt. Rushmore, November 11th, Smaktakula's hatred of clowns, true meanings of holidays, United States Army, United States of America, US Air Force, US Navy, Veterans Day, Western Front
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Happy Memorial Day Or Labor Day Or Whatever It Is
By Smaktakula A day set aside to honor America’s fallen warriors or her tireless and honest workers–we have a real hard time remembering which, as we have never been either a solider or gainfully employed for more than a three-month … Continue reading
Posted in Culture, History, News, Stupidity
Tagged Buy stuff!, Labor Day, Memorial Day, true meanings of holidays, we're work-shy
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It’s Bastille Day!
By Smaktakula Celebrating that day in 1789 when the French people rose as one to protest Louis XVI’s hated mandatory bathing protocols. “Let them eat frogs’ legs!” ∞T.
