Tag Archives: true meanings of holidays

Christmas Fun!

By Smaktakula Hark the Herald! Q: Why doesn’t Santa Claus have any children? A: Because he only comes once a year, and that’s down the chimney. *** Q: What did the inner-city kid get for Christmas? A: My bike. *** … Continue reading

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This Day In History: July 4, Every Year From 1777 CE To The Present

On which inebriated Americans from all walks of life honor the nation’s birth with a variety of beloved and time-honored traditions, from bedside vigils in any of America’s many first-rate burn wards to the age old-custom of commemorating those bygone … Continue reading

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Flag Day

By Smaktakula On which we celebrate a piece of cloth, but not the brave young men and women who died for it. They already have their own day. Because we just don’t see enough of the flag these days.

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What’s So Good About It?

By Smaktakula What’s that? Yeah, probably–but we’ll see you there.  ∞T.

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St. Paddy’s Day!

Promethean Times wishes you and your family a sober and dignified St. Patrick’s Day observance. *** As my mother wept it was then I swore to take my life as I would a whore I know I’m better than before … Continue reading

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Ass Wednesday: A Holiday Of Your Very Own

By Smaktakula We Americans are justly proud of our ignorance. Along with obesity and braggadocio, having our heads up our asses is the trait for which we are best known around the globe. Regardless whether you count yourself among these … Continue reading

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Valentine’s Day: Embrace The Heartache

By Smaktakula Except for malodorous, house-bound misanthropes, no one wants to be alone. Humans are social creatures who seek comfort in the company of their fellows. Romantic love is particularly cherished, with lonely hearts sinking billions into online matchmaking services … Continue reading

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It’s Groundhog Day!

By Smaktakula On which, not unlike our superstitious, cave-dwelling, moon-worshipping ancestors, we seek guidance on the mysteries of nature from a hyperthyroid rat named Punxsutawney Phil. Legend has it that if Phil sees his own shadow on February 2, you’ll … Continue reading

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Celebrating Friday The 13th

By Smaktakula Spare some time from your busy schedule today to reflect upon the true meaning of Friday the 13th, on which the vengeful spirit of Jason Voorhees crawls from its unquiet grave to once again walk the earth, dismembering … Continue reading

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Happy Columbus Day!

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