-
Recent Comments
Tag Archives: United States of America
Tardsie’s True-Ass Tales: Memorial Day Edition
By Tardsie I have never served in the military. Although not a fan of America’s military adventurism over the past half-century, my failure to enlist has less to do with any ideological convictions than with the unfortunate but inescapable fact … Continue reading
People Of Size Demand To Be Represented In Diabetes Commercials
By Smaktakula Anywhere you travel across this great land, you’re very nearly guaranteed to see obese people. Whether they’re wolfing down a score of Whoppers at Burger King or zipping through the mall on their scooters, with cell phones to their ears and … Continue reading
Promethea Culpa
Originally presented Jan 18, 2011 By Tardsie Promethean Times regrets that our clumsy handling of a recent event necessitates both a clarification and an apology. We have entered an age in which our words take on meanings not originally intended, … Continue reading
Posted in Crime, Culture, History, News
Tagged apology, avoiding responsibility, guns, hypocrisy, irresponsible speech, Kate Gosselin, making excuses, overreaction, Promethea Culpa, retraction, RUN BITCH! RUN!, Sarah Palin, shame campaign, Tuscon shooting, United States of America, veiled threats, violence
15 Comments
This Day In History: April 19, 1775 CE
On which, with the help of British Redcoats who wish to seize a cache of gunpowder, the nascent nation of America invents the bumper-sticker slogan, “You’ll Take My Gun When You Pry It From My Cold, Dead Hands.” Just the … Continue reading
Posted in History
Tagged 1775, American Revolution, April 19, bumper sticker mentality, Redcoats, this day in history, United States of America, Vietnam
5 Comments
The Mexican-American Conflict: A Pretty Good War
By Smaktakula You’ve probably heard more than once that there’s no such thing as a ‘good’ war. The sentiment driving this notion is noble, and easy enough to understand: it’s hard to take any joy from a victory when even … Continue reading
Posted in History
Tagged Arizona, California, Canada, Colorado, further instances of Canadian perfidy, Great Britain, James Knox Polk, Let us help!, manifest destiny, Mexico, muchas gracias, Nevada, one-termer by choice, one-termers, outright lies, Saddam Hussein, Saddam totally did it, Santa Anna, Somalia, Texas, there's a NEW Mexico?, treachery, United Kingdom, United States of America, Utah
9 Comments
Take That Frog Out Of Your Mouth!
By Smaktakula The American Language is an adaptive and remarkable tongue, borrowing unhesitatingly from other languages such as Latin, German and English. But this easy exchange of language is dependent at the very least upon non-hostility between America and the … Continue reading
PT Apologizes To Those Groups We Have Yet To Malign
By Smaktakula We’re proud of our track record. In a relatively short time, we’ve managed to say some pretty shitty things about a lot of people. From the Inuits in the north, to the Chinese in the east, the Zimbabweans … Continue reading
Posted in Culture
Tagged muslims, China, Zimbabwe, Jews, United States of America, Christians, Canada, Ramtha, Blame Canada!, historical reenactors, television, American Civil War, Inuits, ignorance--it's what we do, beekeepers, Amish, Swedes, Greeks, Ron Paul, paraphilic infantilism, Ecuador, your mom
10 Comments
Vulgar Non-Sport Gets Collegiate
By Smaktakula College athletics hold a special place in American hearts. In many American backwaters too rural to support a professional team, college sports serve to unite entire communities and regions in a shared passion. Moreover, fans of college sports … Continue reading
Posted in Culture, Entertainment, Sport, Stupidity
Tagged America the fat, America the sedentary, college athletics, competitive eating, conspicuous consumption, fat people, fatty fatty two-by-four couldn't get through the bathroom door, gurgitators, National Collegiate Competitive Eating Association, NCCEA, Rudy, United States of America, vulgar non-sports, waddling grotesquery, Why am I so fat?
13 Comments
This Day In History: March 5, 1770 CE
On which British Redcoats fire into a mob of colonial yahoos, slaying five. The incident, later known in America as the Boston Massacre, drives a further wedge in the growing schism between the colonists and the mother country, which in … Continue reading
