Tag Archives: Why am I so stupid?

Nobody Loves The Opossum

By Smaktakula Spare a moment of thought, if you will, for that most wretched and despised of God’s creations, the opossum.  Sometimes called simply a ‘possum,’ this primitive marsupial is most famous for its disgusting prehensile tail and its trick … Continue reading

Posted in Science | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 26 Comments

Tardsie’s True-Ass Tales: Would You Like (Penis) Fries With That?

By Tardsie As a lad, I used to hang out with a kid we’ll call Zed. Zed was a couple of years older than I was, but we’d met when we were both in the 8th grade. Zed was not … Continue reading

Posted in History | Tagged , , , , | 13 Comments

Headlines XV

By Smaktakula In which we get all the information we need from the headlines of the day: *** Anti-Putin protesters form a 10-mile human chain around Moscow  ~ Anti-Putin protesters made into bizarre human chain in dungeons beneath Moscow. Poor reading … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, News, Stupidity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

Take That Frog Out Of Your Mouth!

By Smaktakula The American Language is an adaptive and remarkable tongue, borrowing unhesitatingly from other languages such as Latin, German and English. But this easy exchange of language is dependent at the very least upon non-hostility between America and the … Continue reading

Posted in Culture | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Stupid People Too: Even More Stupider

By Smaktakula It’s no secret that the delightful antics of the very stupid are one of the reasons we get up in the morning. Morons make the world go ’round, and at the very least give us something entertaining to … Continue reading

Posted in Crime, Culture, Entertainment, News, Stupidity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

It’s Okay Kansas, You Just Don’t Know No Better

By Smaktakula Rick Santorum has been declared the winner of the Kansas caucuses! Did you know that Langston Hughes, Dennis Hopper, Gwendolyn Brooks, Amelia Earhart and Dwight Eisenhower all hailed from Kansas? Not a one of them thought enough of the … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, News, Politics, Stupidity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

Headlines XIV

By Smaktakula In which we opine upon the headlines of the day without first reading the articles. *** Megadeth’s Dave Mustaine backs Rick Santorum ~ See Kids? A bacchanalian life of drug-fueled debauchery is not without its consequences. Although the pernicious effects of addiction … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrity, Cinema, Culture, Entertainment, Music, News, Politics, Stupidity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Santorum Trifecta!

By Smaktakula Rick Santorum turned a great many heads on Tuesday when  he apparently swept the Republican primaries in Minnesota, Missouri and Colorado, proving once again that running right down the center of the USA is a big ol’ streak of stupid. You … Continue reading

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Fresno: Looking Past All The Suck

By Smaktakula Fresno, California is a powerfully forgettable city.  Squatting like an infected zit in the center of California’s San Joaquin Valley (itself labelled a ‘New Appalachia’ by The Economist), Fresno is an embarrassing relation to California’s first-class cities: Los Angeles, San … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrity, Crime, Culture, Stupidity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

A Gift For Your Stupid Or Friendless Child

By Smaktakula The Pet Rock, the novelty item which in the 1970s turned inventor/con-man Gary Dahl into an overnight millionaire, is back! This amazing product, which three decades ago took people a whopping six months to figure out was just … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, Entertainment, Stupidity | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments