Tag Archives: you got a real purty mouth

Headlines: I Was A Caveman’s Love-Puppet

By Smaktakula In which we talk a lot of shit. *** 15-year-old girl caught stripping for the 2nd time ~ You think THAT’S bad? We heard that last year a 14-year-old was caught stripping at the same place! Why Wasn’t West Virginia … Continue reading

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Posted in Celebrity, Crime, Culture, Entertainment, Headlines, History, Literature, Music, News, Philosophy, Politics, Religion, Science, Sport, Stupidity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

Headlines: 09.17.12

By Smaktakula As the news articles of the day are so replete with unfamiliar words and challenging concepts, we’re happy simply to comment on the headlines. *** Carrying these babies for my brother ~ Is considered taboo outside of Appalachia. Gulag Reform: … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrity, Culture, Entertainment, Politics, Science, Sport, Stupidity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 30 Comments

Best of Headlines Part I

By Smaktakula Howdy, folks. Headlines has always been one of our favorite Promethean Times features, and recently it seems to have picked up popularity with our readers. This wasn’t always the case. It might surprise you to know we’ve done … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, News, Politics, Science, Sport, Stupidity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 29 Comments

Thoughts On Gay Pride

By Tardsie I have a hard time getting my head around the idea of gay pride. Wait, wait–before anybody gets his leather panties in a bunch and starts filling my mailbox with rainbow-hued death threats, let me do my best … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, News, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , | 57 Comments

Strippers: Why They Just Don’t Do It For Us

By Smaktakula It’s like being a kid in a great big candy store, only you have no money. That, and all the candy is made out of methamphetamine and soiled Kleenex. Fellas, select your potential mates the Promethean Times way! … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, Entertainment | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 32 Comments

Idahopeless

By Smaktakula Some time ago,  komonews.com ran a pictorial featuring the mugshots of smiling Idahoans. Promethean Times is pleased to present the best of this cavalcade of mongoloids, in some cases with a little of the backstory. Sometimes Celebrities Get Busted: ***

Posted in Crime, Culture, Stupidity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

Is Your Child Predisposed To Methamphetamine?

By Smaktakula If this is your high school senior portrait, then yes, he is:

Posted in Culture, Stupidity | Tagged , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Tardsie’s True-Ass Tales: No English

By Tardsie One of the most unnerving experiences I can recall, but which actually turned out to be a whole lot of nothing, occurred in the middle of the night on a train bound for Memphis from Chicago. I travelled … Continue reading

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Career Opportunities: Carny

A carny is free to pursue his own dreams, be they the simple aspiration to drink turpentine until the onset of blindness, or more dramatic expressions of individuality, such as marrying a she-goat. The carnival doesn’t judge. Continue reading

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Tardsie’s True-Ass Tales: Ronnie’s Watch

By Tardsie Ronnie Duggan was a kid I knew in college. Although Ronnie was by no means memorable, there are two recollections of Ronnie which, try as I might, I can’t forget. The first I was witness to personally. Ronnie … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, History | Tagged , , , , , , | 8 Comments