Tag Archives: you got a real purty mouth

Career Opportunities: Carny

Posted on May 19, 2012 by

A carny is free to pursue his own dreams, be they the simple aspiration to drink turpentine until the onset of blindness, or more dramatic expressions of individuality, such as marrying a she-goat. The carnival doesn’t judge. Continue reading →

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Tardsie’s True-Ass Tales: Ronnie’s Watch

Posted on April 26, 2012 by

By Tardsie Ronnie Duggan was a kid I knew in college. Although Ronnie was by no means memorable, there are two recollections of Ronnie which, try as I might, I can’t forget. The first I was witness to personally. Ronnie … Continue reading →

Posted in Culture, History | Tagged , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Preservin’ That Hillbilly Heritage

Posted on March 14, 2012 by

By Smaktakula We totally get it. You’re damn proud of your white trash pedigree, and want to pass that culture on to the young’uns. Originally confined to the South and most parts of Indiana, the White Trash Diaspora (WTD) has … Continue reading →

Posted in Culture, Stupidity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

The Supreme Court: Supremely Fabulous

Posted on March 7, 2012 by

By Smaktakula People who say that Barack Obama nominated the first gay Supreme Court justice in Elena Kagan have obviously forgotten that former Chief Justice William Rehnquist, a Nixon appointee, presided over Bill Clinton’s impeachment proceedings wearing a robe he … Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrity, Culture, History | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

A Hole New Way To Look At Rachael Ray

Posted on January 24, 2012 by

By Smaktakula Through the magic of the freezeframe, we present the following image of TV chef Rachael Ray for your viewing and photoshopping pleasure. It’s just a spelling error, folks!  We’re not that crass! ∞T.

Posted in Celebrity, Entertainment, Stupidity | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The One Good Reason To Learn Latin

Posted on January 19, 2012 by

By Smaktakula It may be comforting to know exactly what Fr. Cochran is whispering in your ear.

Posted in Crime, Culture, Religion | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Stupid People: Way More Fun Than TV

Posted on January 6, 2012 by

By Smaktakula Today, almost anyone can get himself arrested.  It doesn’t take style, flair or even imagination–with 1% of the US population behind bars, it’s easy to see that getting busted in America is pretty routine.  It’s not surprising then, … Continue reading →

Posted in Crime, Culture, News, Stupidity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Best Buddies

Posted on October 24, 2011 by

By Smaktakula At last!  A doll catering to those collectors of combat-themed action figures for whom GI Joe is insufficiently homoerotic. It’s kind like when ‘Knowing is Half the Battle’ meets ‘It Gets Better.’ ∞ T.

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LiLo’s Got The Meth Mouth

Posted on October 18, 2011 by

By Smaktakula True? False? That’s what the gossip sites are reporting, anyway. More accurately, they’re claiming that the self-destructing former starlet and Flower of American Skankhood has a mouth full of rotting teeth, from which Promethean Times irresponsibly infers that … Continue reading →

Posted in Celebrity, Crime, Culture, Entertainment, News | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Sex: Still Dirty. Still Wrong.

Posted on October 11, 2011 by

By Smaktakula All too often sexual revisionists claim that the sex act is natural and beautiful, and that moreover, there is nothing filthy, disgusting or iniquitous in two human beings rutting like wild turkeys.  Such advice is not only scurrilously … Continue reading →

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